A married bisexual couple have told how they started a three-way relationship with a school teacher they met in a yoga class before moving in together after just four months.
Patrick, 31, a painter, and Samela, 28, an art illustrator, of San Diego, California, met at the University of Hartford in Connecticut in 2009 and were ‘instantly’ attracted to each other and fell ‘madly in love’ before eventually tying the knot in 2017.
The ‘sexually explorative’ couple, who are in an open relationship, had tried BDSM, swinging and foursomes with an older married couple as they explored ‘new experiences and desires’.
But Patrick and Samela were not seeking a ‘third wheel’ for their own relationship until they met Abbey Quincena, 26, at a yoga studio in March 2019.
Despite being openly attracted to both sexes, Abbey had never considered polyamory – but her platonic friendship with the bisexual couple soon turned into a night of passion and she quickly became their girlfriend.
Now the couple have moved in together with a pet Labrador and are planning a ceremony to declare their love after a whirlwind romance.
Patrick (right), 31, a painter, and Samela (left), 28, an art illustrator, of San Diego, California, met in Connecticut in 2009 before meeting Abbey Quincena (centre), 26, at a yoga studio in March 2019
‘We got on really well at yoga class and we realised we were all Game of Thrones fans, loved art shows and had loads in common,’ Abbey recalled.
She started spending more time with the couple and their ‘sexual chemistry’ grew, but everything changed when she hosted a ‘Beyoncé Birthday Bash’ to celebrate turning 25.
‘Everyone had to come dressed up as their favourite version of Beyoncé – it was great fun,’ she said.
‘Throughout the night I noticed Patrick had been flirting with me quite obviously.
‘I wasn’t really sure what was happening – then, all of a sudden, Patrick pushed me up against the wall and kissed me passionately.
The ‘sexually explorative’ couple, who are in an open relationship, had tried BDSM, swinging and foursomes before were not seeking a ‘third wheel’ until meeting schoolteacher Abbey
‘I wanted to kiss him, but at the same time I knew he had a wife and I felt so guilty.
‘I pushed him away and ran to Sam and said, “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what the heck is going on, but your husband just kissed me”.
‘All she said back was, “How was it – was it good?”
Abbey did not know that Patrick and Samela had already confessed to being attracted to her and had been discussing the possibility of ‘spicing up their friendship’.
‘We both found Abbey attractive and thought she was really cool,’ Samela said.
‘We hadn’t been looking for a third person, but it happened naturally, and our feelings developed organically.
‘We’d spoken about whether or not we should ask her if she was interested in joining us – but we weren’t sure.
Despite being openly attracted to both sexes, Abbey had never considered polyamory – but her platonic friendship with the couple she met at a yoga class soon turned into a night of passion
‘Then, on her birthday, Patrick decided to just go in for the kiss and see what happened.’
Explaining to a bemused Abbey that no one had cheated on anyone and they were in fact in an open relationship, the couple then invited her to their house the following day.
‘Abbey came round, we cooked a huge feast and then later we went to the beach to watch the sunset,’ Samela said.
‘It was a beautiful sunset and there was a lot of tension in the air. Patrick and I still weren’t 100 per cent sure if Abbey just wanted a platonic friendship or if she’d be interested in more.
‘We didn’t want it to be weird or to be intimidating, with the two of us coming on to her.
‘But something about watching the sunset was so beautiful and we shared a kiss and asked Abbey if she would be interested in having more.’
Abbey says she started spending more time with the couple and their ‘sexual chemistry’ grew, but everything changed when she hosted a ‘Beyoncé Birthday Bash’ to celebrate turning 25
Left on tenterhooks, the couple eagerly awaited Abbey’s answer.
‘If she said no then we knew we’d just keep it as a platonic friendship, but she said yes,’ Patrick recalled.
‘We wanted to take things slow that night, so we gave her a bath, kissed her all over and made her feel comfortable.
‘We lit candles to make it romantic and it was a loving experience. It wasn’t just about the sex it was much more than that.’
Following their night of passion, Patrick and Samela asked Abbey if she wanted to be their girlfriend and she agreed.
Abbey did not know that Patrick and Samela had already confessed to being attracted to her and had been discussing the possibility of ‘spicing up their friendship’
And in June, the three lovers took a ‘crazy leap’ and moved in together after four months together.
‘We spent all our time together anyway, so we thought, ‘Why not just have all our stuff in one place?’ Samela explained.
‘Now it’s the three of us and our black Labrador in our double bed every night, but we’re all quite small people, so it’s not too squished.
‘It’s great to live together, so we can all just chill out at the house, but we love going out on dates, too.
‘We go dancing or to the beach and we love going out for food and finding a happy hour at a bar.
‘We do one-on-one dates, too, because it’s important to tend to the individual as well – but the real fun times are when we’re all together.’
In June, the three lovers took a ‘crazy leap’ and moved in together after four months together
Abbey, of San Diego, California, said: ‘It was quite intimidating going into a relationship with two people who were married.
‘I found it daunting, because Patrick and Sam have true love – their love is so deep and cosmic.
Throuple’s top tips for an open relationship
- Always be honest with what you desire
- Be clear about your intentions
- Be happy for your partners love as well as your own
‘At first, I struggled to fit in, because their marriage took precedence – but it’s been seven or eight months now and I’ve found my feet.
‘There are so many different configurations to our relationship. There’s me and Patrick, who are boyfriend and girlfriend, me and Sam who are girlfriends and then Patrick and Sam, who are husband and wife.’
Meanwhile Patrick and Samela explained they have always been open to having a third partner.
‘Samela and I have been together for 10 years, but for most of that time we’ve been in an open relationship,’ Patrick explained.
‘From the beginning, we explored non-monogamy – although when we got engaged in 2015, we were monogamous for about 18 months.
‘Sam’s had a girlfriend and I’ve had a boyfriend outside our marriage, but it’s not been calculated. We’ve both been happy about it and we’ve always been honest with each other.
‘We love each other, but at the same time, we want to be satisfied sexually. It’s about new experiences and exploring our desires, too.
The three-way couple have even launched their own podcast – aptly titled ‘Throuple Trouble’ and have received messages from people who want to open up their relationships
Despite trying to explain what it means to be polyamorous to the world outside, Samela admits that not everyone understands
‘We’ve tried polyamory, BDSM (bondage and sadomasochism), swinging and we’ve had a foursome with an older married couple.
‘I was even the third-wheel for another couple for a while.’
The three-way couple have even launched their own podcast – aptly titled ‘Throuple Trouble’ and have received messages from people who want to open up their relationships.
Despite trying to explain what it means to be polyamorous to the world outside, Samela admits that not everyone understands.
‘A lot of people get it wrong and think Pat’s the main man with a wife and a girlfriend, but that couldn’t be further from the truth,’ she said.
‘They think he’s the mastermind behind it all, but actually I had the hots for Abbey before he did. He was actually trying to make it happen for us all – not just himself.’
Even with their admirable openness, jealousy has been known to creep into their threesome, although Patrick swears that good communication soon solves problems.
Proving just how strong their bond as a threesome or ‘throuple’ is, the lovers have now planned a ceremony in February to declare their love
‘It’s about balance and if an element of jealousy does crop up, I take a step back and take a look at my insecurities, that have been bubbling away,’ Patrick said.
‘Communication is so important. If there’s something I don’t like I just have to communicate it and ask for it to be altered.
‘Likewise, if I want to try something new, I need to first be clear on my intentions, like, “Why do I want to explore new things in the bedroom?”, before telling my partners about those intentions and why I have them.’
Proving just how strong their bond as a threesome or ‘throuple’ is, the lovers have now planned a ceremony in February to declare their love and to commit to each other for a year and one day.
‘The love we share is rare. I know no matter what happens in the future they’ll be in my life forever. They’re my lovers and my best friends.
‘They’ve bought me a crown to wear on the day of the ceremony and it’s symbolic because Sam and Patrick treat me like royalty.
‘I truly believe having two people in your heart is better than one.’