A leading Australian matchmaker has shared the seven-day challenge that will make or break your relationship – and the 10 steps to a bond that will last forever.
Renee Brown, from Perth, said all relationships – whether new or decades old – can benefit from such a challenge, as it aims to break the negative cycle.
‘The seven-day relationship challenge is based on shock therapy,’ Renee told FEMAIL.
‘It’s designed to shift a negative state of mind to immediately break and disrupt the negative cycle.’
A leading Australian matchmaker has shared the seven-day challenge that will change your relationship – and the 10 steps to a bond that will last forever (stock image)
She said that often in a couple, men and women quickly become victim to certain negative patterned behaviours.
Renee Brown (pictured), from Perth, said all relationships – whether new or decades old – can benefit from such a challenge, as it aims to break the negative cycle
This means they will often have a cycle of arguments that they just repeat ad infinitum.
‘The first thing to do in a seven-day relationship challenge is separate the couple,’ Renee said.
‘This is the “shock” factor and means seven days of no contact, not even a text message unless it’s an emergency.’
During the week period, couples should work individually on their own personalities, before meeting on the final day to define their new relationship rules and reveal their relationship pledge.
Days one and two:
On the first day of the challenge, Renee said before you separate it’s important to outline the rules.
‘Address your relationship fatigue – or the problems you’re facing and can’t seem to find a resolution over,’ she said.
‘Outline the rules and schedules over the next seven days – and ensure you’re both willing to commit to a lack of contact and total separation.’
On the second day, the expert said it’s time to start thinking about the problems you’re facing in your relationship – and what you might be able to do to help it.
You don’t need to do anything practical at this early stage; rather just know what might help.
Days three and four:
On the third and fourth day, it’s time to identify your part in the relationship fatigue, and realise how it has affected your relationship.
‘During this time, it’s important to delve deep into the reasons and think about the many contributing factors that might have led to you feeling frustrated and helpless,’ Renee said.
Doing this in a quiet place and ideally outside of the workplace will help you to think things through clearly.
Day five:
When the fifth day rolls around, it’s time to look not only at yourself, but also how you can become your best self.
‘Now you’ve had five days apart from your significant other, try to separate your existence as a couple and identify your personal development goals,’ Renee said.
These can be in a work, mindset, health or fitness capacity – but she said it’s important to have your own things to work towards, as well as goals as a couple.
Day six:
The sixth day of the challenge is a pivotal one – as it’s time to start looking forward as to how you can heal your relationship.
‘Identify the new expectations you want from the relationship, as well as the areas that are non-negotiable and the ones you’re willing to compromise on,’ Renee said.
On this day, you should prepare a list of what you want to ask your partner for, and also another list as to where you will compromise and what you will offer.
What are the 10 steps to a relationship that will last forever?
Renee Brown (pictured) shared the 10 steps to make a relationship last forever – which include telling your partner you love them
1. Tell your partner you love them: Take a moment every now and then to verbalise your feelings for your partner. It shows commitment and makes your partner feel secure.
2. Show some affection: Small acts of physical intimacy can have a ‘big ripple’ in your relationship. When you show affection, a partner feels noticed, respected, and cherished.
3. Show appreciation: Appreciation is also important. It makes the other person feel good about what they do.
4. Share yourself: When people share their opinions and feelings they develop a greater understanding of each other’s likes and dislikes.
5. Be there for your partner: It’s as important to be there for the little challenges as well as the big ones, whether it’s a rough commute or a misplaced wallet.
6. Give gifts: Gifts have always been an important part in developing healthy, loving relationships. A well-chosen gift is particularly powerful.
7. Respond gracefully to demands: A big killer of relationships is unreasonable expectations. Learn to recognise and appreciate your partner’s quirks for what they are: an essential part of who they are as people.
8. Make ‘alone’ time a priority: No matter how busy both of your lives are, make sure you commit at least an evening every week or two to be alone together.
9. Take nothing for granted: Cultivate a daily sense of gratitude for your partner and the thousands of little blessings he or she has brought into your life.
10. Strive for equality: Make sure you follow the Golden Rule in your relationship: do unto your partner as you would have done unto you.
Source: Renee Brown at Corporate Cupid
On the last day of the challenge, Renee said you should meet with your other half and set your relationship pledge to each other (stock image) – you should have spent the weekend apart
Day seven:
On the last day of the challenge, Renee said you should meet with your other half and set your relationship pledge to each other.
‘Agree to listen to each other, respectfully answer and ask questions accordingly,’ she said.
‘Then, you need to make a decision together on how you are going to commit to the next chapter of your relationship whole-heartedly.’
The reason why the matchmaker said it works is because there is a ‘result-oriented outcome’.
‘The challenge is short and intensive and forces couples to make decisions they have been putting off for years,’ she said.
Time apart, the expert added, can often reinforce how much a couple loves one another – and it can help you to realise that you don’t want to lose the other person and are willing to put in the work required.
‘Alternatively, in a rare case it will give a couple a clear indication that they are ready to leave the relationship and part ways amicably,’ she said.