Men In Black: International starring Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson lacks grace and finesse

Men In Black: International                                               Cert: 12A, 1hr 54mins

Rating:

If you’re trying to reboot a once hugely popular but now long inactive film franchise, then employing one former Avenger is probably a pretty good idea, especially if he is the charismatic, growly voiced Chris Hemsworth. 

But employing two – that surely smacks of a lack of lateral thinking and creative imagination.

Yet that, unfortunately, is exactly what the makers of Men In Black: International have done, as they try to relaunch a franchise that first saw the light of day 22 years ago and hasn’t been seen since the rather good Men In Black 3 seven years ago.

Alongside Chris Hemsworth – the hammer-wielding Thor – they bring in Tessa Thompson, who plays Valkyrie in the Avengers films, and the result is distinctly lacklustre

Alongside Chris Hemsworth – the hammer-wielding Thor – they bring in Tessa Thompson, who plays Valkyrie in the Avengers films, and the result is distinctly lacklustre

Alongside Hemsworth – also the hammer-wielding Thor – they bring in Tessa Thompson, who plays Valkyrie in the Avengers films, and the result is distinctly lacklustre. 

Hemsworth and Thompson may be many things but Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones – the stars of the first three MIB movies – they most definitely ain’t.

That makes it sound like the film’s shortcomings are all Thompson’s fault, but that wouldn’t be fair. She is on the insipid side, with director F Gary Gray, who made the brilliant Straight Outta Compton, clearly having problems negotiating the tricky modern balancing act that means, on the one side, a female action hero is no longer required to be overtly sexy but, on the other, when she’s cast opposite a handsome hunk like Hemsworth, still apparently has to be sexy enough to put a twinkle in his eye. 

There’s certainly not a lot of twinkle in evidence here.

It’s the sheer lack of grace and finesse of the reboot itself that is most annoying. It’s almost as if Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones never existed

It’s the sheer lack of grace and finesse of the reboot itself that is most annoying. It’s almost as if Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones never existed

There are other problems too. Hemsworth gives exactly the same performance as he does as Thor: lots of banter, a little bit naughty, mildly self- deprecating, quite funny – so much so that in one moment of cross-franchise inbreeding he even picks up a hammer and hurls it at a blue-headed alien baddie. 

‘Nice catch,’ he growls in distinctly Thor-like tones.

Then there’s Liam Neeson. He will have made this before being engulfed in the racism storm provoked by a newspaper interview a few months ago, but he looks distinctly uncomfortable here, phoning in a poor performance as the head of MIB’s London office.

Molly (Thompson) encounters an alien as a child but unlike her parents didn’t have the memory wiped by an MIB neuralyser so she tracks down the most secretive agency in the world

Molly (Thompson) encounters an alien as a child but unlike her parents didn’t have the memory wiped by an MIB neuralyser so she tracks down the most secretive agency in the world

But it’s the sheer lack of grace and finesse of the reboot itself that is most annoying. These days we’re used to teams of writers agonising over the squaring of circles and joining of dots as the franchise baton is carefully passed from one generation to another. 

But here it’s almost as if Smith and Jones never existed. Frank the Pug might get a blink-and-you-miss-it cameo, but of Agents J and K there is no mention.

As a result of turning its back on its black-suited heritage, the new film is surprisingly hard to emotionally engage with, as we watch Molly (Thompson), who encountered a real-life alien as a child but unlike her parents didn’t have the memory wiped by an MIB neuralyser, not just track down the most secretive agency in the world but join them too.

The new Agent M (Thompson) is dispatched to London, where she teams up with a reluctant H (Hemsworth) – still basking in the success of a mission in Paris

The new Agent M (Thompson) is dispatched to London, where she teams up with a reluctant H (Hemsworth) – still basking in the success of a mission in Paris

‘I’m smart… I look good in black…’ she implores at her interview. A sceptical O (Emma Thompson, underused) is just about convinced but points out that having another female employee on the payroll doesn’t mean the agency’s sexist title is about to change any time soon.

Anyway, the new Agent M is dispatched to London, where she teams up with a reluctant H (Hemsworth) – still basking in the success of a mission in Paris – and they soon find themselves entangled in a labyrinthine plot that sees one alien species trying to keep a super-powerful weapon away from another… possibly with the help of an MIB mole. 

Oh, the suspense.

The action and endless visual effects may jump from Paris to London to Morocco to Naples, and Rafe Spall may actually be rather good as the short-tempered, conspiracy-sniffing Agent C, but Rebecca Ferguson is wasted as an alien arms-dealer, while, in the diminutive and hugely annoying Pawny, the franchise may have unearthed its very own Jar Jar Binks.

Which, like so much else here – including a hugely clumsy last lap – is not a good thing. After you with the neuralyser…

 

ALSO OUT THIS WEEK

 

Diego Maradona (12A)

Rating:

It seems churlish to criticise a documentary about arguably the ‘greatest footballer ever’ for the amount of football in it, but my goodness there’s a lot here. It leaves Asif Kapadia’s latest offering feeling a good 20 minutes too long for all but the most hardened fans.

Unlike the subjects of his previous docs – Amy Winehouse, Ayrton Senna – the troubled Argentinian is still alive, and perhaps this deprives this comprehensive film of some emotional impact.

There are few surprises too – Maradona’s battle with cocaine addiction is well known, while his links with the Camorra crime syndicate are hardly shocking for a Naples player.

The notorious ‘hand of God’ goal scored against England in the 1986 World Cup is well addressed and fits with the film’s central thesis. That there are two Maradonas: Diego the brilliant footballer who just wanted to play, and Maradona, the cheating narcissist obsessed with his media image. 

I think we all know which one we prefer.

 

The Hummingbird Project (15)

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This has to go down as one of the nicest surprises of early summer – clever, ambitious and beautifully acted by Jesse Eisenberg and Alexander Skarsgård, who surely gives one of the best performances of his career.

They play cousins: fast-talking Vincent and tech-specialist Anton – two Wall Street traders who hatch a plan to outsmart the market by laying a high-speed fibre-optic cable from Kansas to New York, down which vital financial information will flow in just 16 milliseconds – the beat of a hummingbird’s wing.

Kim Nguyen writes and directs, and delivers a convincing cautionary tale of American greed. An over-the-top Salma Hayek (above with Alexander Skarsgård) is part of the fun

Kim Nguyen writes and directs, and delivers a convincing cautionary tale of American greed. An over-the-top Salma Hayek (above with Alexander Skarsgård) is part of the fun

Kim Nguyen writes and directs, and delivers a convincing cautionary tale of American greed that gets better and better. An over-the-top Salma Hayek is part of the fun.

 

Sometimes Always Never (12A)

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What with Bill Nighy essaying a Liverpudlian accent, Jenny Agutter wrapped in a towel and its endless games of Scrabble, this odd, gentle family drama penned by Frank Cottrell Boyce will never set box-office records but is well worth tracking down all the same.

Laced through with Seventies nostalgia, it’s a touching tale of loss, second-bests and triple-scoring words, as the immaculately dress Alan (Nighy) searches for a missing son, a search that causes tension with the son who stayed (Sam Riley) but leads to a surprising meeting of minds and computer gaming with grandson Jack (Louis Healy).

What with Jenny Agutter (above with Tim McInnerny) wrapped in a towel and its endless games of Scrabble, this odd, gentle family drama is well worth tracking down

What with Jenny Agutter (above with Tim McInnerny) wrapped in a towel and its endless games of Scrabble, this odd, gentle family drama is well worth tracking down

It is all the better for the dodgy back-projections and other surreal flourishes by director Carl Hunter.

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