Monica Lewinsky talks Xanax and dealing with Bill Clinton fallout

Monica Lewinsky spent decades putting her life back together after her affair with a then-President Bill Clinton went public- she says she still works on her confidence and uses tricks to stay even keeled. 

She says despite her self-work, some days her confidence still needs a little help. 

Lewinsky says by using methods she’s learned in her self-work, like how to harness the power of colors and crystals and even by simply being prepared, goes a long way to giving her the self assurance boost she needs.

Many people would struggle to cope the hand Lewinsky was dealt after her private indiscretions as a 22-year-old, with one of the world’s most powerful leaders, turned her into public fodder- up for ridicule.

She tells InStyle that despite working hard to become the woman she is today, she still has some practical and some not-so-practical ways of boosting her confidence and keeping her calm. 

Monica Lewinsky

Monica Lewinsky, now 44, says it has taken decades of work on herself to get over the trauma she endured after becoming a lightening rod for public ridicule. She says she still uses tools to help boost her confidence, like crystals and the energizing power of colors like fuchsia 

Lewinsky's world crumbled- her reputation left in shreds, after her 22-year-old indiscretion with the then-leader of the free world became public fodder

Lewinsky’s world crumbled- her reputation left in shreds, after her 22-year-old indiscretion with the then-leader of the free world became public fodder

‘My newest thing is that I mutter mantras to myself. Sometimes I mutter them aloud. They’re things like, ”I got this” and ”This matters.” 

Lewinsky says she believes in ‘the effectiveness of crystals and color energy. I have a really beautiful deep fuchsia velvet ribbon that I carry in my wallet. When I need a boost of confidence, I’ll tuck it in a pocket or my bra and that color brings me an energy, which will give me confidence. And I have crystals in front of me right now.’  

Lewinsky also says plain and simple preparedness also goes a long way to help bring about enough assuredness to get through different challenges.

The speaker, writer and activist heralds the importance of preparedness: ‘I am most confident when I know that I’m the expert on a topic, so I do my homework.’

However, when her old narrative comes back to haunt her, and sometimes in jarring ways, when all else fails she says ‘There’s always Xanax.’

However, she cautions the little pill solution isn’t for everyone.

‘As long as you’re not somebody who has issues around those types of things,’ otherwise,m she adds ‘I think that can be a really effective tool too.’ 

Lewinsky says ‘Despite the amount of trauma work I’ve done for the past 20 years, there’s still a pattern that gets tapped into or triggered.

I’m really lucky that I have tools I can use. When that doesn’t work, I’ll resort to calling someone or using one of the healing modalities called EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique.’

Lewinsky's life was shattered when her affair with then-President Bill Clinton broke news in 1998

Lewinsky’s life was shattered when her affair with then-President Bill Clinton broke news in 1998

Despite all the rigorous work Lewinsky has done to be able to move on with her life, and even reach to a level where she is able to help others with the outrageous amount of ridicule she endured, she says she still doesn’t wholly have an understanding of who she is today.  

‘Confidence is not something that has come easily to me, and I’m not even sure I have it now. I’ve had a lot of confidence in some areas and maybe even too much at times, but then simultaneously I’ve also had a lack of confidence in other areas.

‘It’s proved complicated for me not only in my own personal experiences but also when I unwillingly became a public person. And then of course any confidence I had was certainly shredded at that point.’   

She admits, despite it all, ‘I feel like I’m still just coming into who I am as a woman, having been delayed in many ways.’ 



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