Mother Julie Venn says nurse body-shamed her 13-year-old daughter over weight gain

An Illinois mom and athletic coach was furious when her 13-year-old daughter went to the doctor for her annual check-up and was body-shamed by a poorly-trained nurse.

Julie Venn took to Facebook to complain about the incident, writing that her athletic daughter Riley is strong, healthy, and perfect — and naturally, at 13 years old, she is still growing.

So she was shocked and upset when the nurse looked at Riley’s measurements and then said to the teen, ‘Tell me Riley, how can you explain all of this weight you’ve gained?’

Natural athlete: Julie Venn of Illinois recently took her 13-year-old daughter Riley for her annual physical and was very upset with what the nurse said

Julie submitted her stories to the Moms of Tweens and Teens Facebook page, where thousands have read it and reacted to it.

She wrote: ‘This week I took my 13-year-old daughter to get her physical. As we entered the examination room I was excited to see how tall Riley would be as this year she has grown a ton!

‘The coach in me has loved seeing her strength and size finally come along and the mom in me has loved watching this beautiful young girl begin to become a young woman.’

While Julie coaches softball and volleyball, her daughter Riley also plays sports, including softball and basketball.

At the appointment, the physician’s assistant came in first and took Riley’s vitals, jotting down her height, weight, and blood pressure.

After the assistant left, the Nurse Practitioner came in.

‘She begins by asking many questions,’ wrote Julie. ‘Whats your bedtime? How much exercise do you get? Are you involved in sports? Do you get enough dairy in your diet?

Not OK: Julie, a softball and volleyball coach, said her daughter is healthy, strong, and perfect, and was horrified with the nurse she encountered at Riley's check-up

Not OK: Julie, a softball and volleyball coach, said her daughter is healthy, strong, and perfect, and was horrified with the nurse she encountered at Riley’s check-up

‘She asks her multiple times — anything else going on I should know about? Riley is friendly and answers all honestly and openly. She explains she will play two sports soon, softball in the fall and basketball in the winter. She tells her she goes to bed around 10:30pm and doesn’t have trouble sleeping.

‘The NP presses her [a] little on the sports participation, sort of insinuating she will have trouble balancing that with school, but Riley seems unaffected. 

‘She then asks her — How was school for you this last year? Riley again, with complete honesty, says, “It was actually very difficult for me. There was a lot of drama and I struggled.”

‘The NP says that is pretty typical for 7th grade and moves on. She asks about getting her period and if it is regular. Riley explains she has gotten it but it has not been with regularity yet. 

‘The NP then looks down at her computer, then back up at Riley’s face and says to my 13-year-old daughter — “Tell me RILEY, HOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS WEIGHT YOU’VE GAINED?”

Sending the wrong message: The nurse asked Riley to explain 'all of this weight' she gained and pressed her on her eating and exercise habits

Sending the wrong message: The nurse asked Riley to explain ‘all of this weight’ she gained and pressed her on her eating and exercise habits

‘My daughter is speechless and her eyes begin to glass over. I am speechless and the NP goes on to explain to her that given what her previous weight was last year, the numbers just don’t correlate with her current height. Has she been eating junk food or has her activity level changed?’

The pressing got to Julie, who was taken aback that the nurse was asking her young repeatedly why she had gained weight.  

‘I LOST MY MIND,’ she said. I had a literal, physical reaction. I put my hand up and said “STOP! You need to stop talking to my daughter about her weight. She is 13, she is strong. She is healthy and she is PERFECT. You need to move on!”

‘NP seems surprised at my reaction and doesn’t say much. She continues with her exam. As she finishes she asks me to follow her because she has a question to ask me. 

‘I follow her into an adjoining room out of earshot of my daughter and she asks me why I had that reaction to her. I explained in no uncertain terms that she was out of line in the way she dealt with my daughter. Our girls need to be empowered and supported and celebrated.

Truth: After Riley noted that talking to teens that way is why so many have eating distorders 

Truth: After Riley noted that talking to teens that way is why so many have eating distorders 

‘They already have to compare themselves to the ridiculous social media bulls*** standards. They are flooded with images of perfection via TV, YouTube, FB, Instagram and Snapchat. Their whole freaking lives have a filter on them!!

‘I hammer home the importance of eating healthy, exercising and of course sports, because we are sporty people, but my god! Kids eat junk food! Kids sit around watching Netflix! Kids get heavier, lighter, taller, wider! ITS NORMAL! Our young ladies need a break! 

‘If my child has a problem or is OVERWEIGHT than a doctor needs to talk to ME, not my daughter.

‘This NP actually went on to defend herself by saying she tells the kids because they have control over their food and exercise. 

 I believe this woman just has no clue. She’s never been properly trained and she was too lazy or misguided to do better

‘My response – LAST I CHECKED MAAM I DO THE GROCERY SHOPPING and the meal preparation and the extracurricular scheduling for my children. She’s 13! 

‘She responded that some kids have their own “pocket money” and use it for junk. WTF. SO – we left the office and won’t be back.’

Still clearly upset over the matter, Julie went on to explain that it wasn’t just important for her to get the nurse to see why her line of questioning to the child was inappropriate. It’s also important that society in general takes a look at how adults talk to kids about their bodies.

‘The reason I am sharing this is because it is dangerous,’ she said. ‘Riley’s response when we left was “Mom, this is why kids have anorexia or feel like they want to hurt themselves.” 

‘She is exactly right! Hey NP! Here’s what you COULD have said to my daughter and all of the beautiful young ladies you impact…

‘”Hey kiddo. Let me tell you how exciting this time of your life is. I see you have started to grow into being a strong young woman and that is awesome! Know that some girls gain weight, some lose weight, some struggle with acne, some feel insecure but remember this — YOU ARE PERFECT just the way you are.

‘”As you mature you will be responsible for more things that pertain to your body —hygiene, activity, menstruation, exercise and healthy eating. This is just the beginning of a long, confusing, sometimes scary road to becoming a woman but it is worth it!”‘

While the nurse didn’t say those things, it seems like that Julie told her daughter that herself after the appointment.

She also told People that she believes the nurse was poorly trained, and she won’t be returning to that doctor’s office.

‘I think she said those things because she is ignorant and insensitive,’ she said. ‘Riley did gain weight this year. She also did grow like 4 inches. She definitely began to hit puberty. I believe this woman just has no clue. She’s never been properly trained and she was too lazy or misguided to do better.’

Though the interaction upset her, she was also surprised by the reactions her post has garnered online, as well as messages she’s received.

‘I’m shocked how many private messages I’ve received from women all over this country with similar stories that happened to them,’ she says. ‘Many led to eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia, lifelong body image issues and even suicide attempts. I thought the post might hit a nerve but am blown away at the viral run!’

Read more at DailyMail.co.uk