A mother-of-five has revealed how her partner left her when they discovered their daughter had Down’s syndrome, and said she was devastated by cruel comments from family and friends.
Corina Gander, 41, from Broxbourne, Hertfordshire, was a busy mother to Rhianna, then 16, Lilly-Rose, 9, Angel, 6, and Ophelia, 3, when she fell pregnant for the fifth time.
But she said her ‘world turned upside-down’ when her partner left her shortly after the baby was diagnosed with Down syndrome.
Meanwhile she said she was ‘stung’ by the cruel comments from friends about her unborn daughter, including ‘You have four normal children, why have this one?’ and ‘I seriously doubt your ability to cope with a disabled child.’
Corina Gander, 41, from Broxbourne, Hertfordshire, has revealed how she was ‘stung’ by hurtful comments after she fell pregnant with daughter Daisy, who has Down’s syndrome
Corina revealed how friends told her they didn’t think she could cope with having a child who had disabilites (pictured, Daisy in hospital at the start of her life)
Meanwhile, Corina revealed how her life also turned ‘upside-down’ when Daisy’s father left her shortly after they learned she would be born with Down’s syndrome
Corina was over the moon when she unexpectedly fell pregnant for a fifth time three years ago.
Calling the pregnancy a ‘happy surprise’, she said she left her 12 week scan with ‘excitement bubbling inside.’
But days later, one of the screening nurses phoned her, and explained how her daughter had a 1 in 5 chance of having Down’s syndrome.
Corina said: ‘I’m not sure how she thought I’d react.’
Corina, who was a mother-of-four with an ex-partner, was horrified when friends told her: ‘You have four normal children, why have this one?
The nurse went on to ask her ‘what she wanted to do’, with Corina explaining: ‘I knew what she meant. Did I want to abort?
‘My mind fast-forwarded to when I was old and unable to care for a child with a disability.’
The nurse went on to ask if she wanted to take a task to determine the diagnosis for definite, with Corina explaining: ‘It carried risks to the pregnancy but I wanted to know. The following day, I went for the test alone.’
But before the procedure, they did another scan where Corina saw her daughter and she revealed: ‘As I looked at the grainy image on the screen, emotion swept over me. There was my baby doing somersaults in my belly.
‘In that moment I knew the result would be irrelevant.’
Corina came away from the appointment knowing that ‘no matter what’ she would keep her baby.
Days later the results came back, and the mother-of-four learned it was a girl and she had Down’s syndrome.
But when the nurse told her she was ‘so sorry’, Corina said she was fine.
Corina revealed how the first time she saw her daughter, she completely fell in love with her and was overwhelmed with joy
She went on to tell her partner, parents and a handful of friends, who came over with flowers and questions if she was going to be okay.
Corina said she told them: ‘I’m going to love her and be the best mum I can be.’
She held off telling her daughters, only discussing the pregnancy with her eldest Rhianna, who Corrine said ‘was amazing’ and assured her the family ‘will be fine.’
But her world turned upside down when she and her partner split up, and, as news spread of the pregnancy, she was horrified by the negative comments she would receive.
Corina said friends negative comments made her want Daisy ‘even more’ and ‘prove to the world she deserved her place’
She said she was ‘stung’ by comments from friends like ‘You have 4 normal children, why have this one?’ and ‘I seriously doubt your ability to cope with a disabled child.’
But Corina said she was determined, revealing: ‘The love I had for the little girl I was yet to meet was so strong. They made me want to have her more and prove to the world she deserved her place as much as anyone.’
When she told her youngest daughters she was expecting another little girl, they were ‘so excited’.
When Daisy arrived at 37 weeks, weighing 7lbs, Corria called her ‘beautiful.’
Her mother June and older sister Michelle brought the girls up to see her straightaway, with all wanting cuddles her at once.
But five hours later Daisy’s breathing became rapid and doctors whisked her off for an emergency heart scan.
Afterwards one explained that she had a small hole in her heart, but they assured Corina it wasn’t uncommon.
The doctor said it should right itself and also that her breathing would become more regular.
After three days, Daisy was brought her home where her sisters made a big fuss over her.
The family grew concerned over how much she slept, and her stomach working really hard as she struggled to breathe.
But one morning, when Daisy was three months old, she was working harder than usual to breathe and Corina became so worried that she phoned an ambulance.
The family were rushed to their local hospital where Daisy was intubated and put on life support, before she was then transferred to St Mary’s Hospital in London, with doctors saying she was ‘seriously ill with bronchitis.’
Corina didn’t leave her side, with Daisy growing worse until, on Christmas Day, she went into cardiac arrest.
But the doctors at St Mary’s managed to restart her heart, and went on to discover she also had ‘chronic lung disease.’
She was so gravely ill, and at one point she needed a blood transfusion.
Corina revealed: ‘All the time I kept thinking I’m going to lose her, as I split my time between the hospital and trying to keep things normal at home for the girls.
‘I don’t know what I’d have done without Mum and Rhianna. The girls’ dad helped out too.’
Meanwhile Corina’s other children were all taken with their new little sister, who they wanted to cuddle for hours
Sadly, Daisy suffered multiple health issues in hospital after birth and became ‘dangerously ill’, suffering from bronchitis and epilepsy
After three-and-a-half months Daisy was transferred to Great Ormond Street Hospital, where she continued to struggle to breathe on her own and picked up infections.
Corina explained: ‘Remarkably though she’d still smile and look at me knowing who I was. She’d wrap her little finger around mine.
‘Other times if her eyes were closed and she heard my voice she’d raise her little hand.’
But sadly, after Corina noticed her daughter having a seizure, doctors also found out she had epilepsy.
Corina revealed how her daughter began smiling when she returned home to spend time with her sisters
Doctors said she needed to be put on strong medication, with the idea to shut her brain down to reboot it, but it had terrible downsides.
They warned Corina that she was ‘unlikely she’ll ever feel emotions, smile or feel pain.’
She said: ‘The room span as tears filled my eyes. How much more would my little girl have to go through?
‘I wondered how much more I could take too.’
Corina revealed how her daughter’s health miraculously recovered as she spent more time with the family at home
It wasn’t long until Daisy’s behaviour changed because of the medication, with Corina saying: ‘When I spoke to her she gave me nothing. In a room on her own she just lay there, day after day.
‘My heart breaking, I felt like I’d lost her. I couldn’t let her go on like this.’
Devastated, Corinna took her eight-month-old daughter home, reliant on oxygen, medication and her feeding tube.
For the first few days she remained the same, but shortly after she returned home the family were amazed when Daisy started smiling again.
Corina revealed how Daisy’s sisters ‘literally brought her back to life’ as they ‘played and cuddled’ with her
Corina said: ‘Slowly but surely over the coming weeks she came back through being with her sisters.
‘They literally brought her back to life, as they played with her, cuddled her. It was a miracle.’
Daisy came on in leaps and bounds, astounding everyone, including the doctors and, now aged two-and-a half, she talks, and doesn’t require 24 hour ventilation – just minimal oxygen at night because of her sleep apnoea.
Corina revealed: ‘She loves playing schools with her sisters and every day she astounds us all. Her smile would certainly melt the hardest of hearts.’
Corina credits the family with helping her youngest daughter to recover, and believes Daisy’s sister’s ‘brought her back’
Not long after she was discharged Corina visited the screening team and saw the nurse who first gave her the diagnosis.
She wanted to show her Daisy for the wonderful little girl she was and the nurse suggested Corina do something positive for other mothers.
She has gone on to launch Daisy’s 21 Wishes, which include support to be offered to new parents receiving a pregnancy diagnosis of Down’s syndrome
Corina revealed: ‘Over time more wishes will evolve. I just want to help in any way I can, and give something back.
‘Having a child with Down’s syndrome is the most wonderful gift but not easy, but hey what child is?
She added: ‘Daisy has brought a whole new world to us – a truly wonderful one.’