Mother-of-two, 34, with an incurable cancer releases shocking photos of its disfiguring effects

A mother dying from cancer has released harrowing photographs of the damage the disease has caused to her face and body as she revealed she has refused to bond with her young children to spare them grieving for her. 

Kim Debling, 34, from Basingstoke, who may have just months to left to live, is glad Rose, one, and Harvey, six months, won’t be able to remember her.

The former RAF air traffic controller is currently battling stage four Cutaneous T-Cell lymphoma, which has left her virtually unrecognisable.

Her face has been ravaged with red lumps from the form of non-Hodgkin lymphoma, which doctors diagnosed her with during her first pregnancy.

However, it returned when Mrs Debling, of Basingstoke, Hampshire, was expecting Harvey and spread across her body. Doctors branded it incurable.

Mrs Debling, who said the cancer makes her feel like a monster, has been told she has months left to live – unless she can undergo a pioneering stem cell transplant.  

However doctors warn she is currently too unwell to go through with the procedure, which could give her another five years – even though a donor has been found.  

Mrs Debling has a six-month-old son and a daughter who is a year old, she said: ‘I know Rose and Harvey won’t remember me, and that’s a good thing.

‘No Disney character ever became a hero without losing a parent, but in a way, I don’t want the kids to get to know me, so I can save them the terrible loss.’

Kim Debling, 34, from Basingstoke, Hampshire, is virtually unrecognisable after red lumps ravaged her face – caused by her stage four Cutaneous T-Cell lymphoma

Speaking about her decision of choosing not to bond with her children, Mrs Debling added: ‘I wonder what my children will think of me, and what conclusions they will draw about me when I am gone.’

Mrs Debling added: ‘But I still want to be the best mum I can ever be, no matter how long I have left.’ 

Mrs Debling and her RAF pilot husband Steve, 32, who she met on an air base and married in December 2012, began trying for a baby soon after their wedding day.

Desperate to become parents, the pair, who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan, were referred for IVF on the NHS after a year and a half with no success.

Mrs Debling became pregnant after just one round in November 2015.

With her mind focused on her baby, she thought nothing of it when she noticed a red rash around her waist, only casually mentioning it to her GP during a routine appointment about her pregnancy a few weeks later. 

The former RAF air traffic controller has even bravely admitted she is glad her young children will not remember her to spare them the pain of grieving for her (pictured in Afghanistan)

The former RAF air traffic controller has even bravely admitted she is glad her young children will not remember her to spare them the pain of grieving for her (pictured in Afghanistan)

Mrs Debling battled the cancer while pregnant with Rose, now one, when she had a red rash appear on her waist. However, it returned when she was expecting her second child, Harvey, now six months (pictured with both children and husband Steve, 32, in hospital)

Mrs Debling battled the cancer while pregnant with Rose, now one, when she had a red rash appear on her waist. However, it returned when she was expecting her second child, Harvey, now six months (pictured with both children and husband Steve, 32, in hospital)

WHAT IS CUTANEOUS T-CELL LYMPHOMA? 

Cutaneous T-cell lymphoma (CTCL) is a rare type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma that affects the skin. 

Macmillan Cancer Support state it is caused by white blood cells, called T-cell lymphocytes, growing in an uncontrolled way.

Experts estimate that CTCL accounts for around four per cent of all non-Hodgkin lymphoma diagnoses.

Figures show there are 13,000 people diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma in the UK each year – and around 75,000 in the US. 

Symptoms of the cancer, which can be mistaken for psoriasis or eczema in its early stages, include red rash-like patches, lumps on the skin and swollen lymph nodes.

Treatment revolves around creams, radiotherapy and a form of light therapy called PUVA, or photochemo. 

She explained: ‘We could not have been happier to be expecting our first baby. 

‘We had waited for so long for it to happen that the red patches were the last thing on my mind.

‘But when I finally saw the GP I did mention it, as it had spread to the tops of my thighs.

‘I was given some cream for it, thinking it was just a nasty rash, as well as being referred to a dermatologist.’

Mrs Debling met with a skin specialist at Basingstoke and North Hampshire Hospital and had a biopsy of her skin taken in March 2016. 

Convinced she was just suffering with dermatitis, a type of eczema, she tried not to worry.

But in May 2016, when she was 24 weeks pregnant, doctors broke the news that she actually had cancer. 

Mrs Debling said: ‘When I heard the word “lymphoma” I was completely devastated.

‘They told me I had a rare type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma that affects the skin, where the symptoms are a raised, rash or itchy patches of skin, lumps on the skin and swollen lymph nodes.

Mrs Debling has now been told she has months left to live, unless she can have a pioneering stem cell transplant, which could give her five extra years

Mrs Debling has now been told she has months left to live, unless she can have a pioneering stem cell transplant, which could give her five extra years

Although, doctors warn that she is too unwell to go through with the procedure, currently - even though a donor has been found (pictured during face radiotherapy)

Although, doctors warn that she is too unwell to go through with the procedure, currently – even though a donor has been found (pictured during face radiotherapy)

Mrs Debling became pregnant in November 2015. Focused on her baby, she thought nothing of it when she noticed a red rash around her waist (pictured during face radiotherapy)

Mrs Debling became pregnant in November 2015. Focused on her baby, she thought nothing of it when she noticed a red rash around her waist (pictured during face radiotherapy)

‘My only saving grace was that it was stage one, meaning it wasn’t aggressive, so they could treat the skin directly with light treatments.’

After that, Mrs Debling had ultraviolet B treatment, which involves standing in a sunbed-style booth, at Basingstoke’s hospital.

Having a session two times a week, she kept going until two weeks before Rose arrived at the end of August at Frimley Park Hospital in Surrey.

Following the birth, the new mother then had 40 sessions of PUVA treatment – another form of UV light therapy, which she was confident had been successful.

Mrs Debling said: ‘When Rose was born it was the most incredible moment. She was a gorgeous girl and I felt so positive about the future.

‘I knew the cancer could spread and come back, but I really felt I had got away with it.’

In a bid to ensure she was treated as thoroughly as possible, Mrs Debling began a course of radiotherapy in February 2017.

But soon after her last session, she became pregnant again – this time naturally.

Mrs Debling met with a skin specialist at Basingstoke and North Hampshire Hospital and had a biopsy of her skin taken in March 2016. Convinced she was just suffering with dermatitis, a type of eczema, she tried not to worry (pictured in hospital undergoing treatment)

Mrs Debling met with a skin specialist at Basingstoke and North Hampshire Hospital and had a biopsy of her skin taken in March 2016. Convinced she was just suffering with dermatitis, a type of eczema, she tried not to worry (pictured in hospital undergoing treatment)

But in May 2016, when she was 24 weeks pregnant, doctors broke the news that she actually had cancer. Mrs Debling said: 'When I heard the word "lymphoma" I was completely devastated' (pictured during treatment)

But in May 2016, when she was 24 weeks pregnant, doctors broke the news that she actually had cancer. Mrs Debling said: ‘When I heard the word “lymphoma” I was completely devastated’ (pictured during treatment)

Mrs Debling had ultraviolet B treatment, which involves standing in a sunbed-style booth, at Basingstoke's hospital (pictured during throat radiotherapy)

Mrs Debling had ultraviolet B treatment, which involves standing in a sunbed-style booth, at Basingstoke’s hospital (pictured during throat radiotherapy)

She said: ‘We’d always wanted a big family and children close together in age, so I could not have been happier when I found out I was expecting Harvey.’

Though, Mrs Debling’s elation was short-lived, as the day after she had taken the positive pregnancy test, she felt an alarming lump in her groin.

Sent for an ultrasound and biopsy straight away, in July 2017, she was told, at 16 weeks pregnant, that the cancer had returned, had spread to her lymph nodes and was not curable.

Mrs Debling added: ‘Me and Steve were new parents. We had another one on the way. Our new life together should have been just beginning.

‘The idea of leaving him as a single dad crushed me. He deserves someone to love and he deserves to be loved.

‘It’s not what any of us had planned for our lives. I wanted to be a proud parent with Steve, see our kids grow up – not leave him to do it all alone.

‘I never considered terminating the pregnancy as I was desperate to meet my second child. 

Having a session two times a week, she kept going until two weeks before Rose arrived at the end of August at Frimley Park Hospital in Surrey (pictured during radiotherapy)

Having a session two times a week, she kept going until two weeks before Rose arrived at the end of August at Frimley Park Hospital in Surrey (pictured during radiotherapy)

Following the birth, the new mother then had 40 sessions of PUVA treatment – another form of UV light therapy, which she was confident had been successful (Rose in the background)

Following the birth, the new mother then had 40 sessions of PUVA treatment – another form of UV light therapy, which she was confident had been successful (Rose in the background)

Though, Mrs Debling’s elation was short-lived, as the day after she had taken another positive pregnancy test, she felt an alarming lump in her groin (pictured with Rose)

Though, Mrs Debling’s elation was short-lived, as the day after she had taken another positive pregnancy test, she felt an alarming lump in her groin (pictured with Rose)

‘I was never told my pregnancy hormones would definitely accelerate the cancer, though in hindsight it may have been the case.’

In the wake of her diagnosis, Mrs Debling was warned she only has months left to live if a stem cell transplant, where her damaged blood cells are replaced with healthy ones, does not work and more than five years if it does.

Her radiotherapy was put on hold and she started an 18-week course of CHOP chemotherapy, which is used to treat non-Hodgkin lymphoma and is suitable for pregnant patients.

She only stopped for the birth of Harvey in October last year, again at Basingstoke and North Hampshire Hospital.

Mrs Debling said: ‘It was gruelling. Not only was I pregnant but I had the toxic chemo drugs going through my body, leaving me weaker and weaker.

‘But when I had Harvey, I actually forgot all about the disease. In that moment I was a mum again, not a woman with cancer. I felt on top of the world.’

Sent for an ultrasound and biopsy straight away, in July 2017, she was told, at 16 weeks pregnant, that the cancer had returned, had spread to her lymph nodes and was not curable (pictured on her way to chemotherapy)

Sent for an ultrasound and biopsy straight away, in July 2017, she was told, at 16 weeks pregnant, that the cancer had returned, had spread to her lymph nodes and was not curable (pictured on her way to chemotherapy)

In the wake of her diagnosis, Mrs Debling was warned she only has months left to live if a stem cell transplant, where her damaged blood cells are replaced with healthy ones, does not work and more than five years if it does (pictured during treatment)

In the wake of her diagnosis, Mrs Debling was warned she only has months left to live if a stem cell transplant, where her damaged blood cells are replaced with healthy ones, does not work and more than five years if it does (pictured during treatment)

Her radiotherapy was put on hold and she started an 18-week course of CHOP chemotherapy, which is used to treat non-Hodgkin lymphoma (pictured with Rose)

Her radiotherapy was put on hold and she started an 18-week course of CHOP chemotherapy, which is used to treat non-Hodgkin lymphoma (pictured with Rose)

Mrs Debling said: 'My children are my life, my husband is the best man in the world. My life itself is wonderful' (pictured: Rose)

Mrs Debling said: ‘My children are my life, my husband is the best man in the world. My life itself is wonderful’ (pictured: Rose)

Soon after the birth, Mrs Debling’s treatment regime resumed, meaning she was unable to breastfeed her baby boy.

Currently undergoing radiotherapy, she will begin chemotherapy next week in the hope that will make her well enough for a stem cell transplant, for which a match has already been found.

A few weeks ago, scores of angry red lumps began to spring up all over her face and body, but thankfully, they have since shrunk following targeted radiotherapy to her face.

Mrs Debling, who has set up a business called Kestrel Design, which covers branding and graphics, as well as documenting her cancer journey online, said: ‘Without a stem cell transplant I could have just months left to live, and with it up to five years, but I am trying to remain positive.

‘My life is actually one of real joy and happiness despite my cancer diagnosis – in fact I believe it has been a trigger to focus me in a really positive way. I am glad I was diagnosed with cancer.

‘My children are my life, my husband is the best man in the world. My life itself is wonderful.’ 



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