Mother-of-two reveals children said goodbye to father who is on a ventilator

A mother-of-two has revealed how she was given 10 minutes to say a heartbreaking final goodbye to her husband as he clings to life on a ventilator, after coronavirus left him with ‘zero chance of survival.’ 

Sue Martin, 49, from Cardiff, told Radio 4 how her diabetic husband Mal, 58, became unwell with symptoms of coronavirus on 19 March, but she believed that he would pull through because he was ‘very, very healthy’ and fit.

But after 10 days, he became progressively worse, and Sue called for an ambulance on 29 March, with Mal walking out the door alongside paramedics.

Hours later, she received a devastating phone call telling her that Mal was so unwell he would need to be put on a ventilator and he had a 50 per cent chance of survival.

As his health continued to deteriorate, Sue and her two children Hana, 16, and William, 13,  were rushed to the hospital and given 10 minutes with Mal to say their goodbyes. 

She told Radio 4’s Today programme: ‘We just told him that we loved him. It was heartbreaking to hear the children tell him that they were going to make him proud.’

Now the family are preparing themselves for Mal’s death, with Sue saying she is ‘desperate’ for her husband to pull through, despite being told there is ‘zero chance’ from doctors. 

She said: ‘Although everyday we prepare for the worst, there’s a little glimmer of just maybe, just maybe, he might turn a corner.’ 

Sue Martin, 49, from South Wales, told listeners of Radio 4’s Today programme about her husband Mal’s, 58, dramatic deterioration after suffering from coronavirus, and how she rushed her children to hospital to say goodbye to them 

Mal, chairman for a recruitment firm, and Sue, communications manager at department for transport, got married in September 1996, and have now been together for 28 years. 

He founded recruitment firm Time 4 Recruitment in 2001, with the strapline ‘the agency that cares’.  

He is a type 2 diabetic and suffered a heart attack four years ago, but despite that Sue said he lived a ‘very, very healthy’ life.  

He first started feeling unwell on the evening of 19 March, complaining of cold-like symptoms. 

Sue believed he would likely be poorly for a week or so, saying: ‘We were prepared for a week of him being really unwell and he just got progressively worse.’ 

The following morning, he couldn’t get out of bed, and was suffering from a  dreadful cough, a headache and a temperature of 38.8C.

She said: ‘The cough was the worse thing for him. It was like nothing else I’ve heard before.’  

Sue believed that her husband Mal would likely go into hospital to have some oxygen, but hours later was phoned and told he would be put on a ventilator

Sue believed that her husband Mal would likely go into hospital to have some oxygen, but hours later was phoned and told he would be put on a ventilator 

Straight away, the family started following the guidelines, with Mal self-isolating in the house and Sue vigorously cleaning down the bathroom after he had used it. 

After a week, Sue tried to seek medical advice, but struggled to get through to 111 services, saying: ‘I tried twice and I was on hold for one hour and 22 minutes each time and then cut off.

‘I suppose that’s the maximum amount of time you can be on hold. I understood they would be very busy and inundated.’

Instead, Sue rang her local doctor who spoke with Mal, and went on to teach Sue how to take a record of her husband’s health. 

Sue continued to care for her husband, checking him every other hour for the next few days.

Coronavirus and diabetes  

Coronaviruses can cause more severe symptoms and complications in people with diabetes, as well as in older people and those with other long-term conditions, such as cancer or chronic lung disease.

Everyone with diabetes, including those with type 1, type 2 and gestational, is at risk of developing a severe illness if they get coronavirus, but the way it affects people varies from person to person.

When a person has diabetes, being ill can make their blood sugar go all over the place. 

Their body tries to fight the illness by releasing stored glucose (sugar) into the blood stream to give them energy. But their body can’t produce insulin to cope with this, so their blood sugars rise.

Their body will work overtime to fight the illness, making it harder to manage the diabetes. 

This means people are more at risk of having serious blood sugar highs and lows, as well as longer-term problems with their eyes, feet and other areas of the body. 

It is important that people with diabetes follow the sick day rules should they become ill from any illness.

Source: Diabetes UK 

Then, on 29 March, he suddenly seemed to get worse, with Sue staying up all night to observe her husband.

She said: ‘By the early hours of Sunday morning, his breathing rate had become very very rapid and that’s when I rang an ambulance and he was taken in. It was day 10 of the virus.’

As the family said their goodbyes, they were told ‘not to go near’ him, with Sue revealing: ‘It was awful because I wish now that we had been able to give him a hug.’

She added: ‘I really thought that, a couple of days on oxygen and he’d be back home with us.’

Sue said her husband Mal was 'very, very healthy' before being struck down with coronavirus, and called him 'the life and soul of the party'

Sue said her husband Mal was ‘very, very healthy’ before being struck down with coronavirus, and called him ‘the life and soul of the party’

About an hour later, she received a call from A&E saying Mal would be going straight to the ICU and put on a ventilator, with the doctor telling Sue her husband was ‘very, very sick’ and they didn’t know if he was ‘going to come through it.’

What is a ventilator? 

A machine that helps people breathe.

It puts oxygen directly into patients’ lungs and removes carbon dioxide from them.

Ventilators are used to help a person breathe if they have lung disease or another condition that makes breathing difficult.

They can also be used during and post-surgery.

A breathing tube connects the ventilator machine to your body.

One end of the tube is placed into the lung’s airways through your mouth or nose.

In some serious cases, the tube is connected directly to the windpipe through a small cut in the throat.

Surgery is needed to make the hole in the neck. This is called a tracheostomy.  

CAN VENTILATORS HELP SAVE LIVES OF THOSE WITH CORONAVIRUS?

Two-thirds of coronavirus patients in the UK who need to be hooked up to a ventilator will die from the illness, official NHS data suggests.

A report from the Intensive Care National Audit and Research Center (ICNARC) found ventilated patients succumb to the virus 66.3 per cent of the time.

That is double the mortality rate of non-virus patients who were put on breathing support between 2017 and 2019, before the outbreak.

The NHS is still 22,000 ventilators short of the estimated 30,000 it will need during the peak of this crisis, which has infected almost 34,000 Britons.

The high death rate has led some doctors to question whether some critically ill COVID-19 patients are being put on ventilation ‘for the sake of it’, when the machine could be spared for a healthy person with a higher chance of survival.

It comes after MailOnline revealed volunteers working at the NHS Nightingale super-hospital in London were given the stark warning that 80 per cent of patients on ventilators could die.

‘The truth is that quite a lot of these individuals [in critical care] are going to die anyway and there is a fear that we are just ventilating them for the sake of it, for the sake of doing something for them, even though it won’t be effective. That’s a worry,’ one doctor told The Guardian. 

The ICNARC report found that for critically ill patients aged between 50 and 69, the mortality rate is just over 40 per cent. 

People with pre-existing health conditions are thought to be at greater risk of developing severe symptoms because of their weakened immune systems.

But the ICNARC report found people with severe underlying health woes were just 10 per cent more likely to die if they fell seriously ill with COVID-19 than otherwise healthy people.

The document also found that most coronavirus patients in intensive care were male, 71 per cent of all cases.

 

She said: ‘It was very, very sudden, he actually walked out the house, although he was very weak because he hadn’t eaten anything and he was very poorly.’

‘The nurse said that she had spoken to him and he was aware of what was going to happen to him, and that they were going to put him to sleep and put him on a ventilator to do the breathing for him because his body was very tired and extremely poorly.’

Sue admitted she ‘didn’t really know’ what that meant, saying: ‘I thought that a ventilator was like an oxygen mask, I didn’t realise it involved him being put to sleep.’

The nurse told Sue that Mal had asked her to ring because he was too upset to speak, having been told that he might not come out of the ventilator. 

The family went on to FaceTime, with Sue revealing: ‘It was difficult for him to talk because he had an oxygen mask on, and he was struggling to breath.’

The family huddled around their phone screens, all four of them in tears, knowing that they might not be together again.  

Sue said: ‘We just told him how much we loved him and I said how much I was really sorry that we hadn’t sent him in earlier. He promised he would fight it.’

Sue continued: ‘He said to my daughter who was 16, “Don’t worry, I’m going to be around a while yet and be here for your wedding and for you both growing up and see Wiliam play rugby for wales.”‘ 

The family continued to exchange texts, with Mal promising the family he would fight it.

Sue said: ‘He said it wasn’t his time, that he missed me too much and that he was coming home.’ 

Meanwhile Sue  told him she wished it was her there instead of him. 

When the texts messages stopped coming through an hour later, Sue knew that he had been taken to the ICU and put to sleep.

She said: ‘That’s when everything changed for us and we have just been existing since.’  

Sue said the family ‘had a bit of hope’ for the first few days, with the doctors telling her her husband had a  50/50 chance of survival.

But Sue believed because her husband was younger, strong, fit and ‘very, very healthy’, he would pull through.

But after a few days doctors tried to ween him off the ventilator and they were unable to do so.

She said: ‘We thought he was improving and then he took a dive and they were unable to reduce the oxygen, they had to put it back up. He continued to deteriorate, after a few days his kidneys failed and he went on dialysis.

‘He was just getting progressively worse.’

Sue then received the call from doctors that there ‘was almost zero chance he was going to survive.’

She said: ‘They were given him a maximum level of adrenaline to keep his blood pressure high enough to pump his blood round to his organs, and said that he was on the brink, and that they couldn’t so anything more for him.’

Devastated, Sue rang the hospital back and begged to be able to see her husband. 

During their final Facetime call with Mal, the father-of-two promised his son Wiliam that he would see him play rugby for Wales one day

During their final Facetime call with Mal, the father-of-two promised his son Wiliam that he would see him play rugby for Wales one day 

Despite the severity of her husband's condition, Sue believed he was fit and strong, and initially felt optimistic about his chance of survival

Despite the severity of her husband’s condition, Sue believed he was fit and strong, and initially felt optimistic about his chance of survival 

One nurse told Sue that if the family could get to the hospital quickly, they could have 10 minutes with him.

She stayed two hours behind after her shift, helping the family dress in full personal protective equipment and layers of hospital gowns and gloves, which Sue said was incredibly hot and stuffy.  

Sue revealed: ‘We had to be in full protective gear, we weren’t allowed to touch him, but we could speak to him.’

WHAT ARE THE CORONAVIRUS SYMPTOMS?

The virus, called COVID-19, is transmitted from person to person via droplets when an infected person breathes out, coughs or sneezes. 

It can also spread via contaminated surfaces such as door handles or railings. 

Coronavirus infections have a wide range of symptoms, including fever, coughing, shortness of breath and breathing difficulties.  

Mild cases can cause cold-like symptoms including a sore throat, headache, fever, cough or trouble breathing.  

Severe cases can cause pneumonia, severe acute respiratory illness, kidney failure and death.  

Symptoms may appear 2-14 days after exposure. 

‘Essentially we were going in to say our goodbyes. I said to the children, “You absolutely don’t have to do this, this is a personal choice, there’s no right or wrong.”

‘But they both wanted very much to come and see him. because they hadn’t been able to hug him before they left.’

The family were gowned up in layers of protective clothing, and screens were put around his bed, with Sue and her two children saying their final words to Mal.

She revealed: ‘It was just like he was asleep. he had so many tubes and wires, it was like he was fast asleep.’ 

‘It was very hard, it was very hard not to touch him but we were glad to get to see him.’

The family prepared themselves for Monday to be their last day with Mal, but miraculously, there was a slight improvement in his health.

His lungs and kidneys have failed, but there was a slight increase in his blood pressure. 

Sue said: ‘He is still desperately ill and there’s still almost zero chance of him pulling through.’ 

 

Sue revealed she told her children that they 'didn't have to come to the hospital' but said the brave youngsters wanted to see their father

Sue revealed she told her children that they ‘didn’t have to come to the hospital’ but said the brave youngsters wanted to see their father  

Sue (pictured front right) and her children Hana (pictured second left) and Wiliam (pictured top right) rushed to hospital to say goodbye to Mal (top centre), with the children vowing to make their father proud

Sue (pictured front right) and her children Hana (pictured second left) and Wiliam (pictured top right) rushed to hospital to say goodbye to Mal (top centre), with the children vowing to make their father proud 

The family are now just ‘waiting’, with Sue saying she is ‘desperate’ for Mal to come through this. 

She said her house feels ’empty’ without her husband, and she continues to cling to any glimmer of hope that he might pull through.  

Listeners of the programme were left devastated by Sue’s story, with many praising her bravery for speaking out about her experience.

One said: ‘My goodness, an account of having a relative in ICU on ventilator just stopped me in my tracks.

‘It should be played every day before and after Downing Street daily briefing. Praying for Mal Martin and his family.’ 

Listeners took to Twitter after Sue's heartbreaking interview, with many praising her bravery for speaking out

Listeners took to Twitter after Sue’s heartbreaking interview, with many praising her bravery for speaking out 

Another said: ‘Sue Martin speaking so movingly about the step by step reality for the family when her husband Mal had to be admitted to hospital and ICU.

‘Powerfully hitting home the truly awful individual experience.

‘Here’s hoping that Mal does turn that corner.’ 

Another commented: ‘Heartbreaking story of Mal Martin who is in ICU fighting for his life, told by his amazing wife Sue. Everybody should hear this. No one would be left unmoved.’

Another person added: ‘Sue and Mal Martin’s story on BBC Radio4 today has me in tears. The description of the impact of this disease described so powerfully. Wishing the whole family well. So sad.’ 

In an earlier interview with the Independent, Sue said he was the ‘loveliest man’, calling him ‘silly, funny and kind.’

She said he was ‘always doing some sort of dance’ or making his family laugh by singing silly songs.

Calling him the life and soul of the party, she also revealed how he was ‘selfless’ with their children.   

She said: ‘I so desperately want Mal to get through this, I don’t want him to be a faceless statistic, he is so much more than that. He is, and will always be, our world.’   

‘I’d give anything for another few years with him for him to watch the kids grow.’ 

‘I never thought I could feel this much pain. My father is unwell too and not being with my parents has made the whole situation that much worse.’  

 

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