An American mother has decided not to teach her five-year-old son to read, and has proclaimed and defended her choice in a lengthy Facebook post.
Crystal Lowery, who lives in England with her husband, five-year-old son John, and four-year-old daughter Jenna, has sparked a heated debate among parents with her unconventional parenting philosophy.
Instead of teaching her son to read before he starts kindergarten, Crystal said she has been focusing on making sure he learns ‘more important’ things, which have left him ‘too busy’ to try picking up a book on his own.
Idea: Mother-of-two Crystal Lowery said she and her husband are not teaching their five-year-old son to read
‘I’m not teaching my five-year-old how to read,’ Crystal wrote in post on August 19, which has since picked up steam online.
‘Don’t get me wrong, we read him books all the time. We’ve imagined ourselves in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, and we’re 170 pages into Harry Potter’s Chamber of Secrets. We’re teaching him to enjoy stories, to get lost in characters.
‘But we’re not teaching him how to read. Not just yet. He’s too busy learning other things,’ she went on.
Crystal explained that she and her husband aren’t having John sit down with a book and learn how to read it himself, because they’d rather he spend all of his time doing other things and learning ‘more important’ skills.
She said he is ‘learning how to be a good sport’ by waiting his turn and not gloating when he wins a board came against his sister.
He’s ‘learning how to build’ by playing with blocks and Lego, and he ‘examines the physical integrity of the various structures he has made’.
Packed schedule: She said that the little boy is ‘too busy’ learning ‘more important things’
He’s learning how to exercise by playing outside, how to ‘take care of things’ by looking after his dog and seeing first-hand what happens when you’re careless with your toys, like Play Doh left out overnight, and how to be creative by doing arts and crafts.
‘He’s learning about ecosystems. He looks at bugs, flowers, and thunderstorms. He sees how fauna and flora inhabit the world together interdependently.
‘He’s learning that the key to happiness is to focus on his blessings rather than complaining about what he doesn’t have.
‘He’s learning how to apologize. To overcome his own hurt feelings and to empathize with other kids when there’s been a confrontation.
‘He’s learning how to forgive. To understand that everyone makes mistakes, and that he can love other people despite their foibles,’ she wrote. ‘He’s learning important lessons every day. But he’s not learning how to read.’
She noted that her son won’t enter kindergarten with ‘advanced reading skills, but he’ll have ‘so much more’, like the ability to make new friends, to listen and follow instructions, to problem-solve, and to concentrate.
Life lessons: She listed all the things he is learning, including creativity and being a good sport
Focus: She noted that when he starts kindergarten, he won’t be able to read, but he’ll have other skills
‘There is so much our children learn that cannot be measured with a standardized test. And though someday his hours will be filled with phonics, and penmanship, and fractions, we aren’t worried about all that today,’ she said. ‘Today he has more important things to learn.’
Unsurprisingly, her post has earned mixed reactions. Some parents have applauded her, calling her a ‘wise woman’ and that they ‘love’ her take on things.
Many, though, have been critical, pointing out that it’s entirely possible to teach all of those good trains while also teaching a child to read.
‘Surely he can do all that AND start to learn to read and write?’ asked one. Another wrote: ‘Bravo for teaching everything else that’s important in life, some parents don’t even do that, but purposefully not introducing your child to reading? There’s no justification for that. It takes ten minutes out of the day.’
‘Any competent child can learn this all while reading. I know I sure did along with most kids I’ve seen,’ someone else added.
Reactions: While some people applauded Crystal, many pointed out that it is entirely possible to teach a child all the things Crystal is teaching while also helping them learn to read
‘I get that those are all important but ;earning how to read doesn’t stop him from learning all those other things. This is absolutely ridiculous,’ said one more.
Others seemed to think Crystal was being neglectful and holding her child back from reaching his potential.
‘I think your main problem is that you appear to see the purpose of literacy skills as a way to do well on standardized tests. They’re not. They are a basic life skill, and while you’re teaching your son other skills, you are doing him a disservice by not teaching him to read,’ wrote one woman.
But Crystal stands by her decision. She told Babble, ‘I think we do rush kids into reading too early. I favor a more European, play-based approach to learning that encourages kids to love books and stories — being read to — rather than just emphasizing phonics.
‘I wrote this post to remind parents that children are learning far more at age 8 than we give them credit for. The ability to read seems to be the only milestone we focus on in Pre-K and kindergarten, and that’s a shame,’ she said.