A mother of a young Australian woman with Down syndrome has candidly explained why she doesn’t want her adult daughter to have children with her fiance.
Maria’s daughter Alex, 24, has been dating Ryan, 22, who also has Down syndrome, for two years and they are now engaged.
The couple have dreams of one day starting a family of their own, but Maria never wants that to happen as they plan their wedding.
Her comments, expressing a personal opinion, have been condemned by a leading disability advocate who also has a daughter with an intellectual disability.
Alex, 24, and Ryan, have dreams of one day having a family of their own, but their families never want that to happen
‘There is no way that Alex and Ryan will have children,’ she told the SBS documentary Love Me As I Am: Untold Australia.
She also said she was too old to raise a grandchild as the primary carer with her husband.
‘Under no circumstances because it would up be to Glen and I to help raise it and we’re ageing,’ she said.
‘We just couldn’t possibly raise another child. No. They can have a dog.’
Michelle O’Flynn, the director of Queensland Advocacy Incorporated, condemned the suggestion people with Down syndrome shouldn’t have children of their own.
‘People are making great leaps of judgement about, not only the capacity of their own children to be parents, but also their capacity to even have children,’ she told Daily Mail Australia on Thursday.
‘First of all, people with disabilities and people with Down syndrome have the same rights to bodily integrity, to family and relationships as any of us and it’s not the decision of the parents.’
Ms O’Flynn, 63, whose 31-year-old daughter has a severe intellectual impairment, said it was wrong to assume grandparents would bear the burden when there were support networks and the National Disability Insurance Scheme.
In the documentary, Alex recalled how Ryan, her ‘toy boy’, proposed to her with a purple ring.
‘Ryan bend down his legs and opposed me getting married,’ she said, slipping up with the word ‘proposed’.
Alex’s mother Maria is supportive of the relationship but does not want them to ever have children
Alex, 24, has been dating Ryan, who also have Down syndrome, for two years. They are now engaged to be married
The couple also told a camera crew they did want children of their own.
‘Yeah, that would be good,’ Alex said.
Ryan agreed: ‘I do.’
The Canadian Down Syndrome Society said women with Down syndrome had a 35 to 50 per cent chance of having a baby with Down syndrome.
SBS’s Facebook page had mixed views, with one man suggesting the Down syndrome couple should have children of their own.
‘They’ll have cute babies for sure,’ one man said.
‘Good luck to them both.’
Maria explained how both sets of parents supported Alex and Ryan getting married.
‘When you have a disability, and they go into a relationship, you really need both parents to be supportive of that relationship,’ she said.
‘We’re very lucky because Ryan’s parents … they’re very supportive of the Alex-Ryan relationship and I think that is the key ingredient to a successful relationship with two people with a disability.’
Several Facebook posts were supportive of the parents.
‘Awesome parents. And I wish the happy couple all the very best,’ one woman said.
People with Down syndrome die much younger, and have a lifespan of 60, compared with 83 for the general population of Australia.
SBS’s Facebook page had mixed views, with one man suggesting the Down syndrome couple should have children of their own
Still, it’s a dramatic increase from a generation ago, when people with this disability typically died before the age of 30.
Despite the improvements with medicine, those with Down syndrome require a lot more care and are unlikely to secure a full-time job to financially support themselves.
The SBS documentary explores love and relationships for Australians with intellectual and learning disabilities.
Several Facebook posts were supportive of the parents like this social media message
It documented sessions with a Sydney relationship expert who coached them about sex and relationships and helped them prepare for a debutante ball at Orange in the New South Wales central west.
Wednesday night’s episode followed three youths with Down syndrome, two with Asperger’s and a young woman with Williams syndrome, an intellectual disability.
The program left out the surnames of the subjects for privacy reasons.
Daily Mail Australia has also chosen to withhold surnames for privacy reasons.