‘Nasty’ woman is blasted for making jokes about her daughter-in-law’s weight

A woman has sparked an outpouring of support online, after revealing that her mother-in-law and husband made cruel comments about her weight.

The anonymous woman, thought to be from the UK, shared her story in a post on parenting website Mumsnet. 

She revealed that before having children, she was a size 10, but had gained some weight due to pregnancy, however, she said that her husband doesn’t normally comment on the changes to her physique – but will laugh along when his mother does.

Her post read: ‘My husband never says anything about my weight and sex life is fine. However, when he’s around his mum he seems to think it’s fine to have a giggle when she makes comments directed at me. 

The anonymous poster opened up about the cruel jibes, telling other forum users how hurt she felt about her family’s unkind remarks

‘A few weeks ago, my husband mentioned MILs scales were broken and MiL said “obviously something heavier than 12 stone has been bouncing on them” and I saw her side eye me. Husband giggled but I said nothing. Tonight, my dog was behind the couch and I bent down to get him and I heard her say to him “you don’t get many of those to the pound” and another comment I couldn’t hear. 

‘I walked out and said to my husband that I feel hurt that he could ridicule my weight. His response – “you’re being childish. It was a joke”. I walked off upstairs and he said “come on, you’re being silly. It was a f****** joke”. For me, it’s not. He knows I had nearly suffered with an eating disorder when I was younger (we were together – I was so scared about getting fat).

‘I just feel hurt that he thinks it’s OK to make these jests at me and that it’s me being ridiculous. He didn’t stand up for me at all and I think the fact that he laughed made me wonder what he actually thinks of me.

‘to be honest, I’m just really upset that he just laughed. If someone said that my husband was fat or skinny or whatever, I would stand up for him.

‘Am I being dramatic? I’m not a confrontational person so feel like I couldn’t say anything to my MIL, especially as she’s staying with us for a while. Sorry for the rant, but crying and wanting to vent.’

People who commented on the post were almost unanimous in their criticism of the mother-in-law and husband, who were branded ‘cruel’ and ‘nasty’

The post garnered more than 200 responses, and the vast majority of  commentators were incensed on the poster’s behalf, calling her husband and mother-in-law’s comments cruel.

One wrote: ‘You should tell her to stop it yourself. You are a grown woman but he is a pig for not having your back and telling his mother to shut up.’

Another wrote: ‘What a nasty pair. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, did it?’

And a third agreed, writing: ‘Making cruel jibes is not a joke. I would be very upset with both of them.’

Many of the Mumsnetters who responded to the post told the poster what they would do or say if they were in her shoes

Others made suggestions detailing what they thought the poster should say to her mother-in law.

One wrote: ‘I would say “I am trying to raise my children to be kind and respectful adults, because that’s what a good parent does. Anyone who deliberately behaves in a mean and disrespectful way will eventually find themselves with very reduced contact with my children, because I don’t want that sort of a role model for them. Keep that in mind MIL”.’

A second Mumsnetter said: ‘Okay, I’d be telling him that he is not nurturing you at all emotionally. His tolerance of his mother’s spite is weak and unattractive. You can’t respect a man that allows things like that to be said about his wife to the point that his own 6year old DD is worried about her weight. To have her husband JOINING IN is utterly unacceptable. He is playing a very dangerous game with his marriage because you are going to pick your own and DD’s health and happiness over him and his mother.’    

A third simply wrote: ‘Tell them to grow up.’ 

For lots of commentators, the fact that the mother-in-law insisted on making jokes about the poster’s weight was especially harmful, given the poster has suffered from an eating disorder

For others, a major issue was that the pair continued to make comments in spite of the poster’s history with eating disorders. 

One of the commentators said: ‘WTF! this has made me so angry! No you SHOULD NOT have to explain how hurt this makes you feel. It is never ok to make nasty comments about someone’s weight, ever. What kind of example is this setting to the DCs?!

‘It’s not about you finding it funny or not!! You don’t need to explain – what they are doing is wrong, whatever the other person thinks.

‘OP honestly, is this the kind of man you want to be with? After you struggled with an eating disorder as well. Nasty, vindictive people.’

While another seemed to feel the same, adding: ‘It’s really horrible to laugh about your weight gain, especially as you’ve had issues. Is he like this otherwise? Mil sounds awful too.’ 

And a third said: ‘Point out that ED [eating disorder] isn’t something that you can be “cured” from. It’s more like an addiction. What they are doing is akin to taunting an alcoholic by waving a drink under your nose. Horrible.’