Only idiots take wine to a dinner party, says TV etiquette expert

Only idiots take wine to a dinner party, says TV etiquette expert who claims your hosts will keep the good bottles then serve you cheap plonk

  • TV chef insists guests should leave hosts to decide on the drink at dinner parties
  • Rosemary Shrager says anyone who does bring a bottle of wine along is an ‘idiot’
  • She said good bottles she brought along in the past were never opened by hosts

Next time you’re pondering whether to take a bottle of red or white to a dinner party, the simple answer is: don’t take any wine at all.

That, at least, is the advice of a television chef and etiquette expert, who insists guests should leave the hosts to decide on the drink.

In fact, Rosemary Shrager says anyone who does bring a bottle is an ‘idiot’.

Guests who visit Mrs Shrager’s idyllic East Sussex cottage need never worry that they’ll go thirsty. She said: ‘I have a surplus of wine. You would never go missing a single drink in my house. There’s so much booze that you don’t have to worry’

The formidable grandmother, who schooled young women on etiquette in Ladette To Lady and appeared on I’m A Celebrity…, said: ‘Your host or hostess will have enough wine for dinner.

‘One thing you can guarantee is that they won’t open a bottle of wine that you’ve taken. Your wine is probably better than some of the wine you’ve been offered.’

Revealing that she is speaking from bitter experience, Mrs Shrager, 68, said: ‘I’ve come a cropper so many times when I’ve taken good wine and it’s never been opened. So I have now decided – never take a bottle of wine.

Speaking about Christmas dinner party etiquette at the Ideal Home Show at London¿s Olympia, she offered suggestions for other gifts for dinner guests to bring along. She said: ¿Take a candle, a little bunch of flowers, some chocolates. But never a bottle of wine'

Speaking about Christmas dinner party etiquette at the Ideal Home Show at London’s Olympia, she offered suggestions for other gifts for dinner guests to bring along. She said: ‘Take a candle, a little bunch of flowers, some chocolates. But never a bottle of wine’

‘How many people go to a dinner party and take a bottle of wine? You’re idiots. Don’t even bother.’

She said the only exception was if a host specifically said ‘bring a bottle’ – then they would have an obligation to open it rather than put it into the cellar or cupboard.

Guests who visit Mrs Shrager’s idyllic East Sussex cottage need never worry that they’ll go thirsty. 

She said: ‘I have a surplus of wine. You would never go missing a single drink in my house. There’s so much booze that you don’t have to worry.’

But it’s pushy to insist your bottle’s drunk

By Mary Killen, etiquette ‘Agony Aunt’ for The Spectator (and regular on Channel 4’s Gogglebox)

At the very top level of society, guests come empty-handed on the grounds that hosts have already got everything they need and the visitors will return the hospitality some time soon.

If someone who aspires to foodie status has invited you, the likelihood is that they would have already chosen appropriate wines and these would be chilling or breathing in readiness and in sufficient quantities.

Don’t be offended, therefore, if your host thanks you but puts your contribution aside. I disagree with the notion of insisting the bottle you bring should be opened. This smacks of interfering.

However, as always, it depends on the circumstances and the age group.

One man I know was fed up with arriving at the house of a penny-pinching friend with a gift of an expensive bottle and seeing it put away while his host served gut-rot.

He now arrives with the bottle already opened, saying ‘This has been breathing at home’, so the host has no choice but to share it. But it’s different at Christmas when every guest should bring something – not in the spirit of quid pro quo but in the spirit of celebration.

Don’t bring what the Germans call a ‘wanderpreis’ – something someone else has obviously given you but you didn’t want. This category includes scented candles and panettones.

Aim to bring something that might provide a talking point, be ecologically sound (ie local) and, above all in 2019, non-plastic.

Speaking about Christmas dinner party etiquette at the Ideal Home Show at London’s Olympia, she offered suggestions for other gifts for dinner guests to bring along. 

She said: ‘Take a candle, a little bunch of flowers, some chocolates. But never a bottle of wine.’

The etiquette expert also gave advice on dealing with guests who may have had a little too much to drink during festivities.

She advised: ‘If someone is seriously getting a bit ill, one has to give them lots of water discreetly.

‘Do not let them get in a car, do not let them go anywhere. Put them on a sofa, if that’s what it takes.’

Mrs Shrager also set the rules for one particular festive tradition.

She explained: ‘I have one stipulation at Christmas.

Revealing that she is speaking from bitter experience, Mrs Shrager, 68, said: ¿I¿ve come a cropper so many times when I¿ve taken good wine and it¿s never been opened. So I have now decided ¿ never take a bottle of wine'

Revealing that she is speaking from bitter experience, Mrs Shrager, 68, said: ‘I’ve come a cropper so many times when I’ve taken good wine and it’s never been opened. So I have now decided – never take a bottle of wine’

‘Do not open your crackers until you’ve had the main course. If you open the crackers before you sit down, everything gets everywhere. After you’ve had the main course you need a long rest. And that’s when you open your crackers.’

She added revellers who pull their crackers before the main course ‘need their heads examining’.

The grandmother-of-four starred in the 2012 series of I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!, becoming well known for her loud snoring, which echoed through the camp. 

She has also appeared on the BBC’s The Real Marigold Hotel and judged several TV cooking shows.

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