Oprah lifts the lid on her ‘spiritual partnership’ with long-time love Stedman

Oprah Winfrey has opened up about her decades-long ‘spiritual partnership’ with Stedman Graham, insisting that they ‘would not still be together’ after nearly 34 years if they ended up getting married. 

In her latest ‘What I Know For Sure’ column for O, The Oprah Magazine, the 65-year-old media mogul reflected on her unwavering relationship with the businessman, admitting that when she first met him, she thought he was a ‘player’ and ‘too handsome’ to be interested in her.

Oprah explained that Stedman, 68, was ‘always with the same girlfriend’ whenever she saw him around, so she ‘didn’t pay much attention’ to him. But that all changed when they were both visiting a mutual friend who was ill in 1986.  

  

Opening up: Oprah Winfrey, 65, reflected on her unwavering relationship with Stedman Graham, 68, in her latest ‘What I Know For Sure’ column for O, The Oprah Magazine

In it together: The media mogul said their relationship is a spiritual partnership: 'partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth'

In it together: The media mogul said their relationship is a spiritual partnership: ‘partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth’

‘We left together, and I asked if he wanted to get a beer,’ she recalled. ‘(Yes, I drank a lot of beer then and wore cowboy boots every day.) He said he didn’t drink. (Still doesn’t—not one sip of nothin’ alcoholic since I’ve known him.)

‘I thought he was nice enough, but I wasn’t that impressed,’ she continued. ‘He was polite, yes, and kind. The sort of guy who sits with an ailing friend. Tall and handsome, for sure. But actually too handsome, I thought, to be interested in me.

‘I figured he must be a player. So did all my producers. They warned me not to get involved with that Stedman guy.’ 

Oprah said she was cautious about even pursuing a friendship with Stedman, but she had a change of heart after she learned he had broken up with his girlfriend and was asking about her dating status. 

Valentine's day issue: Oprah donned a stunning gold sequin dress while posing for the February cover of her magazine

Valentine’s day issue: Oprah donned a stunning gold sequin dress while posing for the February cover of her magazine 

Keeping it real: Oprah said she and Stedman both agree that they 'would not still be together' after nearly 34 years if they had gotten married

Keeping it real: Oprah said she and Stedman both agree that they ‘would not still be together’ after nearly 34 years if they had gotten married

The two have been together ever since, and their relationship even survived a broken engagement — one that neither of them regrets. 

‘For years, there were hundreds of tabloid stories, weekly, on whether we would marry. In 1993, the moment after I said yes to his proposal, I had doubts,’ she admitted.

‘I realized I didn’t actually want a marriage. I wanted to be asked. I wanted to know he felt I was worthy of being his missus, but I didn’t want the sacrifices, the compromises, the day-in-day-out commitment required to make a marriage work. My life with the show was my priority, and we both knew it.

‘He and I agree that had we tied the marital knot, we would not still be together,’ she continued. ‘Our relationship works because he created an identity beyond being “Oprah’s man” (he teaches Identity Leadership around the world and has written multiple books on the subject). 

Looking back: Oprah initially thought Stedman was a 'player' and 'too handsome' to be interested in her when they first met in 1986. They are pictured months after meeting

Looking back: Oprah initially thought Stedman was a 'player' and 'too handsome' to be interested in her when they first met in 1986. They are pictured months after meeting

Looking back: Oprah initially thought Stedman was a ‘player’ and ‘too handsome’ to be interested in her when they first met in 1986. They are pictured months after meeting

Decisions: After they got together, he proposed in 1993, but she admitted to having 'doubts' the moment she agreed to marry him and be his wife. They're pictured in 1993

Decisions: After they got together, he proposed in 1993, but she admitted to having ‘doubts’ the moment she agreed to marry him and be his wife. They’re pictured in 1993

Reason: Oprah explained that her life with her talk show was her top priority, and they both knew it. She is pictured on her show with the- first lady Hillary Clinton in 1995

Reason: Oprah explained that her life with her talk show was her top priority, and they both knew it. She is pictured on her show with the- first lady Hillary Clinton in 1995

‘And because we share all the values that matter (integrity being number one). And because we relish seeing the other fulfill and manifest their destiny and purpose.’

Oprah ended the column by saying her relationship with Stedman is what spiritual teacher Gary Zukav calls a spiritual partnership: ‘partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth.’ 

The Wrinkle in Time star also dished about her relationship with Stedman while she and her best friend Gayle King answered readers’ questions in a special Valentine’s Day-themed edition of OprahMag.com’s series, The OG Chronicles.

After a fan wrote in to say she was worried her partner was going to disappoint her on Valentine’s Day, Oprah shared why she doesn’t take stock in the holiday. 

Love: In the latest edition of The OG Chronicles, Oprah shared that Stedman sends her flowers from all their dogs every Valentine's Day, joking that 'it was cute for the first five years'

Love: In the latest edition of The OG Chronicles, Oprah shared that Stedman sends her flowers from all their dogs every Valentine’s Day, joking that ‘it was cute for the first five years’ 

She recounted being in a Miss Black America Pageant around Valentine’s Day and being upset that all the other girls were getting flowers and gifts from their beaux when her boyfriend Bubba — his real name — didn’t get her anything.

After she complained, another contestant wisely told her: ‘If your man puts a flower on your mind, you won’t need one in a vase.

‘You want a man who puts a flower on your mind so that it’s Valentine’s Day every day,’ she explained. ‘And it’s just a day. It means nothing if the rest of the time you are not feeling like a valentine.’

Oprah said ‘nobody plans’ Valentine’s Day in her house, noting Stedman does the same thing every single year.   

‘I know what’s going to happen. It was cute the first five years,’ she joked. ‘It’s all the dogs send me flowers with a note. I do think that’s sweet, but it’s time to move on.’

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