Overworked dad asks Reddit if he is in the wrong for not wanting to take care of his newborn baby

A first-time dad who works 100 hours a week has turned to the internet to ask if he is in the wrong for complaining about about ‘taking care’ of his new baby. 

The 27-year-old explained in a Reddit post that he is ‘on the brink of exhaustion’ from working as a surgical resident and taking care of his three-month old with his stay-at-home partner. 

He said his partner is asking him to take over parenting duties as soon as he gets home from his job and that the couple cannot come to an agreement after hours of ‘talking and arguing’. 

The pair unexpectedly found out they were going to have a baby and decided she would quit her job as a teacher to take care of the child while he finished his surgical residency. 

‘I would complete my residency and then, after having somewhat more humane hours, would obviously split child caring duties equally with her so that she can also return to work,’ the new dad wrote. 

Since the baby was born three months ago, the surgeon said things have been ‘rough’ for both parents with his workload increasing as he takes on larger operations. 

The pair unexpectedly found out they were going to have a baby and decided she would quit her job as a teacher to take care of the child while he finished his surgical residency 

‘Things have obviously been rough for her, too. The pregnancy and delivery were without complication, but it goes without saying that it was still hugely taxing on her mentally and physically,’ he said. 

The exhausted dad explained that his partner has been asking him to take care of the baby when he gets home and while he was initially supportive and agreed, he’s starting to burn out.  

‘In the past few weeks she’s been asking more and more of me and a few days ago she demanded I take care of our kid immediately as I walked into the door. I hadn’t even had time to take off my shoes yet,’ the man recalled. 

The pair snapped at each other sparking an argument the man said he was ‘too exhausted to deal with’ and shut himself in the bathroom to ‘take a long shower and calm down’. 

‘We later talked about what had happened and apologised to each other, but during it she essentially told me that she felt like I wasn’t doing enough to take care of the kid and that it was our responsibility equally,’ he wrote. 

‘I told her that I felt like I was already doing more than we agreed on and that I can literally not do any more than what I am currently doing.’  

After hours of talking, the new parents couldn’t come to an agreement and decided to leave the topic for another time. 

He said his partner is asking him to take over parenting duties as soon as he gets home from work and that the couple cannot come to an agreement after hours of ‘talking and arguing’ 

The man asked Redditors if he was in the wrong for not wanting to take on a larger parenting role during his residency and that friends he’s turned to for help are ‘split on the matter’.   

Thousands in the forum reassured the stressed-out father and offered their heartfelt advice to the struggling parents. 

‘You have a newborn, are working 100 hours a week and a wife who is most likely so overwhelmed she can’t see straight,’ one person said. 

‘What you need is HELP. I don’t care who said they would do what before the baby came, it’s here now and it’s not what either of you expected. It’s time to start from scratch and use your limited energy to find solutions to give you both reprieve,’ they continued. 

‘You both need a nap. You are both basically working 24 hours a day. It’s unsustainable. Hire a friend, family member, or a good babysitter to watch the baby while you two have a nice uninterrupted sleep,’ a second suggested.