A plus-size woman wants to teach women to love their bodies and know their worth after years of being used for sex by guys who didn’t want to be seen in public with her because of her size.
Susan Curry, a 38-year-old insurance customer service worker and model from Cashion, Oklahoma, is 5 feet 11 inches tall and wears a size 18. After years of being shamed, she has learned to embrace her body and understand her self-worth.
‘I do feel that some partners did not take me seriously in the relationship due to my size,’ she said. ‘I put up with things in my earlier years that I would not even give the time of day at this point in my life including being talked down to, called names, and verbal and physical abuse.’
Body-positive: Susan Curry, a 38-year-old insurance customer service worker and model from Cashion, Oklahoma, is 5 feet 11 inches tall and wears a size 18
Hard to handle: Susan said she learned to love her body after years of being shamed
Difficult: Susan said she had always been ‘big’ as a child and she would get made fun of growing up
Susan grew up in a disadvantaged neighborhood and had always been ‘big’ as a child. By the age of 11 she was already wearing a size 8.
‘I recall family members asking why I was so much larger than others my age and felt the pain when shopping in the stores,’ she said.
Susan’s confidence was at her lowest during her teenage years. She had to have clothes specially made for her larger frame by her family and always felt like she towered over her classmates.
She bought jeans from men’s department stores in order to get the length and width right and lived in baggy clothes which would hide her figure. She avoided swimming pools and water parks, and if she did go to one, she would wear a supersize T-shirt to hide her voluptuous figure.
Susan was constantly told she needed to watch what she ate. She had her fat rolls pinched, and at one point, she was forced to exercise by running at a park.
Looking back: Susan’s confidence was at her lowest during her teenage years. She had to have clothes specially made for her larger frame by her family
Devastating: Susan recalled a boy she had a crush on in middle school telling her she was ‘too fat’ for him to date
‘[My] confidence was knocked down by kids who were cruel about my size and even by adults in my life,’ she said.
Susan’s classmates would make fun of her because of her size, which only contributed to her low self-esteem. She never dated anyone in high school because of what she went through.
‘I never even looked at school as a potential pool of suitors as the fat jokes and my own self-esteem created invisible barriers,’ she explained. ‘I never dated anyone in high school and barely even dated anyone in my teens.
‘I recall having a crush on a boy in middle school and he told another that I was “too fat for him to date.” I was self-conscious of my weight and in turn felt like I had nothing to wear, nothing that would be appealing to anyone I was interested in.
‘I often felt less than or not as capable as my counterparts due to my size. School became something that I just had to get done to move on into adulthood.’
Shamed: She recalled being in her 20s and having guys want to hook up with her but keep their relationship secret because of her size
Misconception: Susan said men would expect her to have sex with them because they were paying attention to her
Susan reached a turning point in her life when she ‘met a few amazing women’ who introduced her to tight jeans, bodycon dresses, and two-piece swimsuits.
They inspired her to start showing off her figure, and she realized the only barrier to wearing the same clothes that thin girls modeled in magazines was her own mind.
‘I realized I had missed way too many events or made events less fun due to my body issues,’ she said. ‘The turning point for me was really looking at my body in different clothes or no clothes and loving each imperfection, roll, out of place feature for what it was.
‘Although I didn’t look like the bodies I saw in the magazines, I would see something beautiful when I looked in the mirror,’ she explained.
‘I remember when I tried on my first two-piece set and crop top and did not want to show my belly as all I could see was an explosion of fat bursting out of the shirt.
Leaning to love herself: Susan reached a turning point in her life when she ‘met a few amazing women’ who introduced her to tight jeans, bodycon dresses, and two-piece swimsuits
Realization: She realized she’d missed too many events in her life because of her body issues
‘When I began to embrace my curves, my body, and love my body for what it was, I was then able to wear clothing that I would have never dreamed of putting on before,’ she noted.
‘I think because we look so much different from skinny bodies, and that’s all we used to see in media, this created an altered perception for myself.
‘I never imagined I would love pools let alone dive off of a diving board when I was younger and here I was, living it up.
Susan’s newfound confidence helped her meet guys, but it took some time for her to realize her self-worth. She recalled dating one man who insisted on keeping their relationship a secret.
‘In my 20s, there was a guy who wanted to “hang out with me” — now known as “Netflix and chill” — but didn’t want anyone to know that he was seeing me,’ she recalled.
Living it up: ‘Although I can’t drop it like it’s hot anymore as I approach forty, I can still dip it like it’s warm,’ she said
Model: Susan has more than 255,000 followers on Instagram, where she shares racy lingerie photos of herself showing off her curves
‘I realized many were just after their pleasures and not into having a serious relationship and in some instances, I believe this was because of my size.
‘I have also heard the comment that plus size women were “easier” and I have had men expect that because they are giving me attention that I am obligated to sleep with them,’ she added.
Susan said ‘sex has never been an issue’ for her and the men have been ‘plentiful.’
‘Plenty of men have needs that they want fulfilled,’ she said. ‘I wonder how many men truly care, when it comes to the bedroom, if their partner is plus size or not.’
Some of her partners have told her that she is ‘like a pillow, soft and comfortable.’
‘Positions in sex have never been an issue, plus size or not. I think sex is sex, and, well, it’s pretty amazing,’ she said. ‘Although I can’t drop it like it’s hot anymore as I approach forty, I can still dip it like it’s warm.’
Susan has more than 255,000 followers on Instagram, where she shares racy lingerie photos of herself showing off her curves.
Goal: Susan wants to encourage other women to know their worth and embrace their bodies regardless of their size
Boundaries: ‘Knowing my own worth and value and what I will and will not accept has helped me create healthier romantic relationships,’ she said
Although she still gets negative comments from people regarding her size online, she chooses to delete the messages and discard them from her mind because they no longer matter to her.
Susan wants to encourage other women to know their worth and embrace their bodies regardless of their size.
‘Knowing my own worth and value and what I will and will not accept has helped me create healthier romantic relationships,’ she said.
‘If I am to show others how to love themselves, how to be confident, I must also practice this and ensure my self-esteem and personal self-care is a priority.
‘Knowing my worth has been a big determining factor in who I accept into my life, and I try and help teach other women to also know their worth, to get through the lows, and excel in the highs, and have a balance in it all,’ she explained.
‘Embrace your imperfections, study your imperfections and these characteristics will become the unique features that set you apart.
‘We are rewriting the rules of the plus-size industry and I am here for it.’