Polyamorous couple makes a Google Doc of rules – including when to hook up with other people

A polyamorous couple have revealed how they made a Google Doc for all of their relationship logistics – and insists EVERY couple should have one.

Nick Piperno and Millie Boella, who live in Toronto, Canada, have been together for 13 years and drew up the five-page contract as a way of managing expectations in their multiple relationships.

The document, created in the second year of their courtship, outlines rules on how to argue, how much time to spend together and how to communicate as well as other relationship rules.

Piperino and Boella are now encouraging others to employ the same system – and believe it can help with monogamous dynamics too.

Piperino and Boella are now encouraging others to employ the same system – and believe it can help with monogamous dynamics too

The couple have an egalitarian polyamorous dynamic – which means it is nonhierarchical polyamory with no partner given preference over the others.

And Boella told Insider that keeping a spreadsheet to keep track of the smaller details has helped them successfully maintain it.

Speaking about their unconventional method, Boella said: ‘We like to clarify everything so that there’s no misunderstandings and everybody’s aware and feels empowered to partake in relationship negotiation.

‘Because we’re humans, we change and we don’t know how things are going to change. 

‘So this gives us quite a lot of stability and awareness of where we stand on things.’

The first draft was based off Tristan Taormino’s book Opening Up in which the non-monogamy expert explores how to set boundaries, avoid jealousy and manage time.

Boella said that they now treat the contract as their own Bill of Rights and do not shy away from exploring any topic – including health care and safe sex policies. 

They decided to revisit it every three years or when either party entered into a new relationship.

Piperno recently started seeing someone else which meant that clauses concerning household finances needed to be amended as he began splitting his time between the two

Boella said that they now treat the contract as their own Bill of Rights and did not shy away from exploring any topic – including health care and safe sex policies

This happened a little over two years ago when Piperno started seeing someone else which meant that clauses concerning household finances needed to be amended as he began splitting his time between the two.

Piperno has also created his own contract with his new partner. 

The couple believe that their system can help monogamous dynamics too where gender roles are often assumed. 

Piperino and Boella founded an initiative – called Decolonizing Love – in 2021 in a bid to ‘make polyamory more accessible and inclusive for all, and to provide holistic support for individuals navigating polyamorous relationships.’