A couple who regularly date other women have revealed what life is really like in a polygamous relationship – and how seeing other people helps them to keep the romance alive.
For Priscilla Soares, 25, and Steven Bolden, 26, from Connecticut, the idea of having another woman join their relationship initially started off as a joke but it soon became a reality for the couple – who now regularly document their experiences on YouTube and Instagram.
Speaking to Jam Press Media, the couple, who have amassed a steady fan base on social media, explained they initially started sharing the details of their unusual romantic arrangement due to a surge in interest from their followers.
Something different: Connecticut couple Priscilla Soares, 25, and Steven Bolden, 26, have opened up about their decision to try polyamory – and how it keeps their romance alive
Exotic: The duo make a living from investments and a rental property, and they’re able to take regular trips abroad, often bringing other women with them
Sharing: Priscilla and Steven are incredibly open about their polyamorous romances on social media, however they keep the identities of their dates hidden
Testing the waters: The couple initially started talking about polyamory as a joke, but became increasingly intrigued by the concept
‘We started answering a lot of questions and so began making content based around that but our intention was, and still is, to inspire people to live their best lives while becoming their best selves, to see the world and have as many peak life experiences as possible and also to educate and provide resources to help people structure their lives in a way that they can live freely,’ Priscilla explained.
The business-savvy couple, who have rental property and investments that cover their living expenses, earn a whopping $150,000 a year between them and focus on traveling the world together, occasionally bringing a romantic interest along with them.
Explaining the first time they decided to have another woman join their relationship, Priscilla said the pair had ‘no idea how poly would fit into their lives’ but that she had ‘always wondered what it would be like to be with another woman.’
‘The first time was a little weird,’ she said. ‘I was so nervous but it was a beautiful experience.’
Meanwhile, Steven admits that he had previously experimented with threesomes and felt that it ‘made sense,’ to have another woman join the relationship, saying, ‘We talked about it more and eventually started looking for more qualities of a potential partner and not just a good time.’
As for how a three-way relationship works, the couple said it’s not much different from any ‘normal’ relationship, and the pair will go out for dinner, drinks and walks in the park with their current romantic partner.
Opening up: Priscilla admits that she was ‘nervous’ the first time the couple brought another woman into their relationship
New perspective: She described their first experience as a throuple as ‘beautiful’
Three is not a crowd: ‘When another woman joins the relationship she just complements us,’ the pair explained
Taking it easy: Although Priscilla and Steven are happy to travel with other women, they say that they haven’t yet found someone they want to move in with
Big step: ‘Moving in together is a big step. That should only happen when everyone feels it’s time,’ Steven said
‘When another woman joins the relationship she just complements us. We add new hobbies and we tend to go out more to get to experience her. It’s similar to regular dating. You start doing what each other likes to do,’ the pair explained.
Priscilla notes that a love interest will not move into the couple’s home immediately but that the three of them will spend a lot of time together.
‘It’s important that everyone feels comfortable,’ she added. ‘I think for girls that have never had this experience before; they don’t exactly understand the dynamic and the ambiguity of it all throws them off.’
‘Some girls are open and comfortable with new situations and things just flow like any date would. But I can definitely tell when some girls are stifled,’ Steven explained.
‘Moving in together is a big step. That should only happen when everyone feels it’s time.’
Sharing the secrets to a happy relationship, Priscilla said the most important thing is to keep things ‘healthy, fresh and happy,’ adding that communication is very important.
Natural: Priscilla says that jealousy is only ‘natural’, but that they don’t believe it is ‘healthy’ to feed into those feelings
Speak up: She believes that communication is essential in any relationship, but especially one in which three people are involved
Important: ‘Be honest about your feelings and needs. Have date nights and revisit the things that you both love to do and what made you fall in love in the first place,’ Priscilla advised
Get out there: Steven believes that partners should have similar goals and ambitions, and his and Priscilla’s shared love of adventure makes their relationships stronger
‘Be honest about your feelings and needs. Have date nights and revisit the things that you both love to do and what made you fall in love in the first place.
‘Also have you time. Sometimes he needs a day with his boys and I just want time alone or with my friends,’ she added.
As for Steven, traveling keeps things ‘fresh’ and exciting, as he explains.
‘If at least one individual is an adventurous [or] experimental person, there’s always going to be new and exciting experiences to keep things moving forward.’
The couple believes trust, similar goals and ambitions are important factors in any relationship and both partners need to ‘really understand that they can never change a person and shouldn’t want to.’
‘We should actively encourage and facilitate our partners’ progress in the positive direction they want to go,’ they added.
But with any relationship comes jealousy, which Priscilla notes is ‘normal but can be unhealthy.’
Independence is key: Priscilla says that it’s important for people in relationships to also have time to themselves, whether they want to be alone, or hang out with their friends
Critics: The couple face harsh scrutiny on social media, but they say they refuse to let it get to them or stop them from being happy
Harsh: ‘Many people have taken shots at us for promoting a sinful lifestyle or propagating adultery,’ Steven shared
Fight: ‘There’s always prejudice and hateful people who have something to say but that’s life,’ Steven said
Again the couple says that open communication is the key to keeping jealousy at bay, adding, ‘Jealousy comes with fear but when you know your place in the relationship you have no need for jealousy.’
‘If it’s a healthy relationship, there’s a lot more benefits to poly than cons. The only time jealousy and issues arise is if you have no business being in that relationship in the first place or there’s a lack of integrity and communication,’ Steven explained.
The pair notes that there shouldn’t need to be a ‘rule book or strict guidelines’ for polygamy.
‘When you get to know someone, whether it’s monogamous or polyamorous, obvious things that get worked out are establishing boundaries and precedents,’ they said.
‘If that groundwork for a relationship is never laid out, there couldn’t be a foundation to actually be in a relationship to begin with.’
Despite enjoying their unusual arrangement and documenting it with fans, the couple revealed they have faced criticism from those who just ‘don’t understand’ their lifestyle choice.
‘Many people have taken shots at us for promoting a sinful lifestyle or propagating adultery. There’s always prejudice and hateful people who have something to say but that’s life,’ Steven explains.