Braunwyn Windham-Burke hinted that she was hiding a secret as her marriage faltered on Wednesday’s episode of The Real Housewives Of Orange County.
During the season 15 episode called The Calm Before The Storm, it was clear that Braunwyn, 43, had been hiding secrets for some time.
In a preview of upcoming episodes of the Bravo show, Braunwyn told a friend that she loved an unnamed woman.
Dropping hints: Braunwyn Windham-Burke hinted that she was hiding a secret as her marriage faltered on Wednesday’s episode of The Real Housewives Of Orange County
In March, Braunwyn and her husband Sean Burke celebrated a vow renewal after 20-plus years of marriage and seven kids.
Braunwyn had been taking stock of her life since she stopped drinking a month before, and met with a therapist to figure out how to ‘deal better’ with challenges.
She confessed that from age 14, she’d drunk alcohol to relieve anxiety and insecurity, and after age 30, entered a bad period where she would get drunk all day long.
‘I had a miscarriage,’ Braunwyn explained. ‘I got very depressed. I started taking Xanax, and drinking and it spiraled. I don’t remember this, but I guess I went into my closet for five days.’
High tension: During the season 15 episode called The Calm Before The Storm, it was clear that Braunwyn, 43, had been hiding secrets for some time and she was tense at home
‘I wanted to die,’ she continued. ‘I remember thinking that that was the best option for everyone in my family because I was so dark, I couldn’t see around it or through it. I got admitted to the psych ward. It was not pretty.’
Sean didn’t know what to do, but kept the kids away from her so she could heal, Braunwyn said.
‘There is a dark side to me, and it’s something very few people see,’ Braunwyn admitted. ‘Unfortunately, and sadly, my husband sees it the most.’
Dark side: ‘There is a dark side to me, and it’s something very few people see,’ Braunwyn admitted. ‘Unfortunately, and sadly, my husband sees it the most’
Sean had been going to Al-Anon meetings, she said, hoping that they helped him relax.
‘It must be nice for him to be able to exhale, to go somewhere he didn’t have to smile and pretend everything is okay,’ she mused. ‘He’s been managing me for so long. Protecting me has been his full-time job since I was 18.’
‘Sean and I are in a very co-dependent relationship,’ she added. ‘Do I resent him for enabling me? Sure. But do I take responsibility for putting him in that position? Absolutely.’
Taking responsibility: ‘Sean and I are in a very co-dependent relationship,’ she added. ‘Do I resent him for enabling me? Sure. But do I take responsibility for putting him in that position? Absolutely’
Braunwyn faced these issues when she took her son Jacob, 15, to a makeup store to choose his look for a drag show.
She was amazed by his confidence and inspired by the fact that he could just be himself, when she had struggled so hard to be authentic.
‘My whole life, people have looked at me and said, ”No. You need to be smaller. You need to be quieter. You need to fit in this little box that we’ve created”,’ she told the cameras. ‘And for many years, I did. But you can only box someone up for so long before eventually they just have to break that damn box and turn it into confetti.’
Makeup store: Braunwyn faced these issues when she took her son Jacob, 15, to a makeup store to choose his look for a drag show
She admired her son as he had his makeup done.
‘Seeing him just glow from the inside out makes me realize that at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that we’re true to ourselves,’ she affirmed.
When coronavirus became more widespread, Braunwyn struggled at the idea of being stuck at home and bored because she feared it would make her drink.
Staying true: ‘Seeing him just glow from the inside out makes me realize that at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that we’re true to ourselves,’ she affirmed
Her daughter Rowan, 17, was ‘terrified’ of old people dying, of running out of food, of missing prom, of what would happen to people in hospitals that needed help.
Sean tried to reassure her, and Braunwyn snapped at him not to downplay her fears.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a bottle of tequila in the kitchen and had to pour it out, lest the temptation to drink become too great.
Pandemic concerns: Rowan, 17, was ‘terrified’ of old people dying, of running out of food, of missing prom, of what would happen to people in hospitals that needed help
Braunwyn invited Rowan, who suffered from anxiety and OCD, to come to an AA meeting with her the next day, to learn from elder attendees.
Sean began to praise their wisdom, and Braunwyn burst out, ‘No one is letting me talk! What the f***! You guys are just… No one is letting me tell my story. This is horrible.’
In a confessional, she said, ‘I feel like I’m trying to escape, but I don’t know where to go. Because what I am trying to escape is myself. And I am stuck here. I am crawling out of my skin.’
Tequila disposal: Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a bottle of tequila in the kitchen and had to pour it out, lest the temptation to drink become too great
Horrible situation: Sean began to praise their wisdom, and Braunwyn burst out, ‘No one is letting me talk! What the f***! You guys are just… No one is letting me tell my story. This is horrible’
Onscreen, a credit announced that on March 14, 2020, production on the season shut down.
Executive producer Thomas Kelly told the women that they might be off for two months.
In a preview of things to come, Braunwyn and Sean finally had it out as he complained that he was just becoming a roommate to her, and she spoke about having a girlfriend.
Shut down: Onscreen, a credit announced that on March 14, 2020, production on the season shut down
‘I love her,’ she told someone offscreen.
Elsewhere on the episode, the cast began to question conflicting stories told by their newest castmate Elizabeth Lyn Vargas, who was getting divorced.
After Braunwyn’s vow renewal, Elizabeth had written her ex a text that said, ‘I’m really sorry that I filed for divorce, and I’m really sad that our marriage will be over soon.’
That horrified Emily Simpson, 44, who had known Elizabeth before she met any of the cast, but said she had grown oddly ’emotional,’ and sometimes failed to make sense.
Two months: Executive producer Thomas Kelly told the women that they might be off for two months
‘I don’t know who this chick is,’ she offered.
On a hike, Emily discussed Elizabeth with Shannon Beador, 56, and Gina Kirschenheiter, 36.
At the Frey House, a Palm Springs landmark, Kelly Dodd, 45, was frank with Elizabeth.
Group hike: On a hike, Emily discussed Elizabeth with Shannon Beador, 56, and Gina Kirschenheiter, 36
‘Emily and Gina think that you’re not telling the whole story about your stuff,’ she said.
Elizabeth said she couldn’t say what she really wanted to say, because she was under a gag order that didn’t allow her to mention her net worth or what she was receiving from the divorce, ‘so I’m being overly cautious.’
She said that her obsession with money was a reflex from growing up poor, but now that she had money she didn’t necessarily want to be in her current situation either.
Candid conversation: At the Frey House, a Palm Springs landmark, Kelly Dodd, 45, was frank with Elizabeth
Kelly and Braunwyn urged her to stop talking about money, and Elizabeth said she’d constantly done it around Jimmy, noting that he tried to leave her ‘many times.’
Elizabeth noted that Shannon had gotten drunk the night before and randomly fought with Jimmy, which led the group to worry about her alcohol intake.
The pandemic kept getting worse, and Shannon fretted about the fact that she couldn’t get her usual meat at the market, or find isopropyl alcohol for hand sanitizer.
Coronavirus growing: The pandemic kept getting worse, and Shannon fretted about the fact that she couldn’t get her usual meat at the market, or find isopropyl alcohol for hand sanitizer
Emily and Gina shopped at an Italian market, and Emily said that when she took her kids to a school playground, it was empty; there were no adults, and only five kids playing.
She didn’t know what to believe, and wondered if she should keep her kids home just in case.
At home, a panicky Shannon wept about what might happen if she used up the paper towels and couldn’t get more.
Italian market: Emily and Gina shopped at an Italian market, and Emily said that when she took her kids to a school playground, it was empty; there were no adults, and only five kids playing
Shannon had bronchiectasis, a lung condition that left her with a perennial cough and the fear that if she got COVID-19, it would get trapped in her lungs.
Kelly was also hurt by the coronavirus, losing thousands on her water business; eventually, her mother would be hospitalized with the condition, but she was not yet afraid.
When Shannon called her, Kelly said, ‘I think they’re blowing it out of proportion. It’s the flu.’
Blown up: When Shannon called her, Kelly said, ‘I think they’re blowing it out of proportion. It’s the flu’
Shannon protested that the virus gave people pneumonia, and Kelly said, ‘For you, yes, because you’re compromised, like old people and babies.’
Gina was shocked when they closed her children’s school for a month, and said of her home, ‘I feel like this 1,700 square feet just got a hell of a lot smaller.’
Before the pandemic, Gina played tennis with her pals, and told them a woman at her son’s school joked that her ex, Matt Kirschenheiter, 36, just came to the boy’s games for show.
Tennis time: Before the pandemic, Gina played tennis with her pals, and told them a woman at her son’s school joked that her ex, Matt Kirschenheiter, 36, just came to the boy’s games for show
‘He’s working on himself, but he’s a good dad,’ she said of Matt. ‘It just pi**es me off.’
In a preview of upcoming episodes, it was revealed that Shannon tested positive for coronavirus, and Emily’s husband Shane Simpson got it, too.
The Real Housewives Of Orange County will return next week on Bravo.
Good dad: ‘He’s working on himself, but he’s a good dad,’ Gina said of Matt. ‘It just pi**es me off’