Reddit: Grandmother refuses to babysit unless she’s paid

A new mum was shocked when her own mother demanded to be paid to babysit. 

The 29-year-old mum from the US was planning to return to work and didn’t want to get into further debt paying for childcare fees. 

Although when she reached out to her 64-year-old retired mum for assistance, she refused. 

Sharing the details on Reddit, the woman asked ‘am I the a**hole?’ for wanting her own mum to take care of her baby for free. 

In the post the woman detailed how her mum ‘has been a homemaker/stay-at-home-mom since 1992, and hasn’t been part of the workforce since then’.

‘She also added that if I really wanted this baby, then maybe I should have thought about staying home like she did to take care of it while my partner goes to work and provides for us like a ‘traditional’ family, and that if she any my dad were able to work it out, so can we,’ the woman wrote.

The new mum said she earns more than her partner – who’s $5,000 in debt – and can’t afford to be a stay-at-home parent. 

‘When I explained all the above to my mom, she then proceeded to say that she will charge me $20/hr for each hour she takes care of the baby, plus late fees if we are late for pickup,’ she wrote and claims her mum ‘does not do anything besides watch TV and cook meals’. 

The grandma also demanded her daughter supply all the baby essentials – including a car seat, stroller, bottles, and ‘pretty much everything’. 

‘She will not step foot in my house for her own personal reasons (she’s come in once, and I’ve lived with my partner for 5 years; she’s a 15min drive away),’ the mum continued. 

‘I want to save money to bring down our debt, and don’t want to pay her as much nor invest as much in double of everything as it will spiral into more debt for me and my partner.

‘I’m on the fence about enrolling my baby into an infant daycare instead as the cost will overall be lower and a little closer to our home.’ 

Working from home also isn’t an option for the couple and other family members work full-time during business hours. 

‘Am I the a**hole for wanting my mom, who again is at home all day long, to take care of my baby for free while me and my partner try to fix our finances?’ the mum asked. 

The daughter shared the details on Reddit and asked ‘am I the a**hole?’ for wanting her own mum to take care of her baby for free while she returns to work (stock image)

The Reddit thread was flooded with comments from more than 2,300 people who shared their advice and opinions – and many sided with the grandma. 

‘Sorry to be blunt and rude but maybe don’t have a child if you can’t afford to take care of them. And if your plan was always go back to work you should of discussed that before the pregnancy with your mum,’ one person wrote. 

‘The audacity to neglect her mother’s time. ‘She doesn’t do anything’: CAUSE SHES 64!!!’ another said. 

A third added: ‘Your mother is under no obligation to babysit for you.’ 

But others understood the dilemma. 

‘The best thing you can do is start building your childcare system. Look at nurseries. Make some mom friends in the same boat as you and swap babysitting. Go, OK, mom isn’t interested, that sucks, what are some other options?’ another suggested.  

Another was more blunt about it: ‘You’re not an a**hole for wanting her to care for your baby. And she’s not an a**hole for not wanting to. I know it would be a blessing if your mum was more generous of her time and wanted to care for your child. But she doesn’t.’