Refinery 29 co-founder, 49, reveals she’s pregnant after suffering seven miscarriages

A Refinery29 co-founder has revealed she’s pregnant after suffering seven miscarriages in an honest essay candidly detailing her fertility struggles.

Christene Barberich, 49, is one of the creators and the global editor-in-chief of Refinery29, a popular women’s media company based in New York City. 

In a moving first-person piece published on Monday, Christene announced she’s now almost seven months pregnant with her first child after nine years of trying to start a family with her husband Kevin Baxter, 49.

Journey: It was a comment left under an essay Christene wrote in August 2015 that eventually led her to understand why she was struggling to carry a pregnancy to term

Back in August 2015, Christene wrote a similar essay about her difficulties to conceive a child. At that time, she had suffered through five miscarriages and had tried to conceive for six years.

In her new essay, Christene revealed she penned that previous piece ‘in a few hours, after which I folded myself in half on my bed at the Covent Garden Hotel in London and cried for what felt like forever’.

‘When you try to start a family for as long as my husband and I tried, you definitely begin to doubt your instincts… all of them,’ she wrote.

‘You ask yourself these soul-baring questions you might never have asked yourself if you had, say, just peed on a stick one day, gotten a happy face, and that was that. 

‘When something you want or seemingly want is held just beyond your reach for so long, you begin to wonder: Should I even want this anymore?’

As it turned out, it was a comment left on her previous essay that eventually changed Christene’s life by helping her understand why she had experienced multiple pregnancy losses.

Journey: Christene and her husband Kevin Baxter, 49, tried to start a family for nine years

New: Earlier this month, Christene (pictured last week) opened up about her pregnancy in an Instagram post, describing the experience as ‘strange and other-worldly’

Milestone: After seven ‘soul-crushing’ ultrasounds, Christene finally got to to hear a heartbeat during her eighth pregnancy

A reproductive immunology specialist named Dr. Jeffrey Braverman reached out to her, telling her: ‘I think you should give me a call, someone sent me your story… fertility specialists do not treat recurrent miscarriage, that is the field of reproductive immunology.’

Christene wasn’t immediately convinced to get in touch with Dr. Braverman. 

‘I remember reading it with skepticism, and, for months, never gave it much thought,’ she recounted. ‘What doctor actually leaves a comment? I thought. Until one day, I’m not sure why, because it wasn’t preceded by any great epiphany, I emailed him. And he emailed me back.’

The editor and her husband ended up consulting Dr. Braverman at his office. The specialist told her he wanted to do an extensive exam to find out what was causing her repeated miscarriages, and told her that her age was only one factor. 

Kevin and Christene eventually returned to the office to get their results. Christene learned she had a genetic mutation keeping her from properly processing folic acid, an essential component for people trying to get pregnant, that she had to take a blood thinner to make sure her blood could reach the placenta, that her immune system might be mistaking an embryo as a foreign body, and that she had endometritis, an inflammation of the uterus’ inner lining.

She and her husband also had to decide whether to use donor eggs of her own, knowing that using donor eggs would result in higher odds of a successful pregnancy but would cost about $35,000. 

Process: The editor (pictured left and right in June) said she still ‘[frets] constantly’ and wakes up equally worried and grateful every morning

Grateful: Christene has credited her husband and her doctor with helping her experience ‘something I honestly never thought was possible’

Christene chose to keep their decision private, explaining the choice was ultimately theirs ‘to make and keep’.

Eventually, the editor became pregnant again and in March had to return to Dr. Braverman’s office for an ultrasound, a stage that had left her ‘somewhat traumatized’ over the course of her previous pregnancies.

‘After all my pregnancies — eight in total — I had become somewhat traumatized by the sonogram visit to see or hear a heartbeat,’ she wrote. 

‘This generally happens at six to eight weeks, and, as history would have it, it was never a happy experience for me, shouldering the disappointment of not just myself in those moments, but everyone in the room connected to our hope of having a child. 

‘It was soul-crushing.’

This time around, however, Christene got to hear a heartbeat and ‘felt [her] whole body shift, or maybe surrender’.

‘Over the last six months, I’ve thought a lot about that moment. And every time I go in for a checkup or sonogram, I half think that magnificent flicker will somehow disappear,’ she added. 

‘But every week and month I move forward into this experience of carrying our baby, I feel more confident, and more aware of all the things I honestly have no control over anyway. And never have.’ 

The editor said she still ‘[frets] constantly’ and wakes up equally worried and grateful every morning. 

Earlier this month, Christene opened up about her pregnancy in an Instagram post, describing the experience as ‘strange and other-worldly’.

‘I’ve been reluctant to post anything until now (those fears still linger), but it is because of Dr. Braverman and my husband that I might even be here writing this, experiencing something I honestly never thought was possible,’ she wrote.

‘Like I said in the very last part of that essay from a few years ago, I couldn’t have known all the things I would need to do and feel on the way to this place. But like my late beautiful friend Pam dreamed… somehow, even through loss, we find our way.’