Intimacy can often get lost in the long haul of relationships.
And if sex is no longer on the agenda, maybe it’s time to rethink about what you can do to rekindle your romance in the bedroom.
Sydney sexologist Jacqueline Hellyer has revealed why couples are having less sex than ever – as she shared her tips to bringing back the spark in your relationship.
If sex is no longer on the agenda, maybe it’s time to rethink about what you can do to rekindle your romance in the bedroom (stock image)
The relationship expert – who helps couples reconnect sexually – said using phones in bed has become the biggest problem for couples.
‘Nearly every couple that come and see me, there’s an issue with devices in the bedroom,’ she told Seven’s breakfast program The Morning Show.
‘There’s two problems, one it engages your brain in the wrong way. You want to be winding down and just gently focusing.
‘Also, if you want to start making love, you’ve got to connect, you’ve got to turn towards each other whereas our devices keeps us in our little solo bubble and there’s this huge breach between.’
If couples are too exhausted to get steamy between the sheets after a long day, Jacqueline suggested having ‘lazy sex’.
‘People are saying they aren’t having sex because they don’t have the energy. Just have lazy sex, have simple sex, just have a nice cuddle plus,’ she said.
Jacqueline said couples can take action to bring intimacy back to their bedroom by simply communicating about the lack of sex.
‘This is crucial because it may actually be that people are having less sex but better quality, which is actually what we want,’ she said.
‘Having an awful lot of dreary, boring obligation, not enjoying it kind of sex is not a good thing. So if you are actually talking about it, chances are, when you are doing it, it’s better. It’s actually what you both like.’
Sydney relationship expert Jacqueline Hellyer (pictured) has revealed her tips for putting the spark back in your relationship – and why you should never use your phone in bed
She said sex should always be mutual between couples and not obligatory.
‘When we’re having quality love making, when I say quality, it just means something that feels good for both of us, that we’re enjoying it,’ she explained.
‘You just don’t want to have obligation like just do it to get it over and done with. You want to have the love making that makes you feel connected because that gets all the happy hormones flowing so you feel loved up.’
To reconnect sexually, Jacqueline advised busy couples should consider scheduling time together in the bedroom.
‘If you want to have a good love life, you have to set aside the time,’ she said.
‘You’ve got to get to the bedroom a little bit earlier, put the devices down, have a conversation and see where it goes.’
Why people in their 60s are having more sex than the millennials
Relationship expert Louanne Ward explained the lost art of seduction, communication and connect is throwing millennials into forced celibacy.
‘Millennials are opting out of the three date sex rule wanting more meaningful connections before jumping into bed,’ she said.
‘We are noticing an increased trend in people aged between 25 and 35 contacting us who haven’t had sex for years.’
- The Bureau of Statistics recorded the average age of Generation X marrying was 22 compared to millennials average age of 31.
- Baby Boomers had already chosen their partner before 30, and sex was accessible and plentiful compared to their children’s children who, if single would need several new partners per week to catch up.
- The swipe right, swipe left generation have lost the vital skill of connection.
- Australian’s have become ‘lazy daters’ with the help of technology and the culture of wanting everything right now.
Forbes Magazine found the rise of dating apps may suggest the drop in rates of intimacy among millennials.
‘What millennials need are the skills and tools not being taught at school and by the creators of online dating sites, apps or pick-up artists,’ Louanne said.