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Sam Smith breaks their silence on wanting to use they/them pronouns


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Sam Smith has broken their silence on coming out as non-binary, as the singer told fans to refer to them using ‘they/them’ pronouns. 

The Stay With Me hitmaker, 27, announced their request in a candid statement shared via Twitter on Friday, in which they admitted they have been ‘at war’ with themselves for ‘a lifetime’ over how to define their gender.

In the honest flurry of tweets, they wrote: ‘Today is a good day so here goes. I’ve decided I am changing my pronouns to THEY/THEM after a lifetime of being at war with my gender I’ve decided to embrace myself for who I am, inside and out…

Honest: Sam Smith broke their silence on wanting to use they/them pronouns as non-binary singer said they’ve been ‘at war with their gender’ for ‘a lifetime’ via Twitter on Friday

‘I’m so excited and privileged to be surrounded by people that support me in this decision but I’ve been very nervous about announcing this because I care too much about what people think but f*** it!

‘I understand there will be many mistakes and mis gendering but all I ask is you please please try. I hope you can see me like I see myself now. Thank you.’

The singer’s brave post was praised by fans, who threw their support behind Sam and shared kind words with them. 

Announcement: In the honest tweets, they wrote: 'I’ve decided I am changing my pronouns to THEY/THEM after a lifetime of being at war with my gender I’ve decided to embrace myself'

Announcement: In the honest tweets, they wrote: ‘I’ve decided I am changing my pronouns to THEY/THEM after a lifetime of being at war with my gender I’ve decided to embrace myself’ 

 

Honest: Sam admitted that they were 'very nervous' about asking fans to use they/them pronouns as they 'care too much about what people think'

Honest: Sam admitted that they were ‘very nervous’ about asking fans to use they/them pronouns as they ‘care too much about what people think’

One fan gushed in support of Sam: ‘So happy you are finally being true to yourself and your gender. For all the hate and confusion you get from this, know that there is an immense amount of love and support too!’

Another told them: ‘I’m so proud of you. and please forgive me if I ever slip up and call him/his by mistake. but I’ll always make to sure call you they/them whenever I talk about you. i love you (sic).’

While another user lambasted the trolls who claimed they wouldn’t adhere to Sam’s request, and the fan blasted: ‘the amount of hate i’m seeing here is disgusting. sam is perfectly valid. if you don’t think people exist outside of the binary, that’s your opinion, but you need to respect someone’s preferred pronouns. it isn’t that hard to make a simple change for the good of a person (sic).’

Words of praise: The singer's brave post was praised by fans, who threw their support behind Sam and shared kind words with them

Words of praise: The singer’s brave post was praised by fans, who threw their support behind Sam and shared kind words with them

Sam’s announcement comes after it was reported on Thursday that Sam had asked loved ones to refer to them as ‘they’ rather than ‘he’, six months after coming out as non-binary. 

According to The Sun, the Stay With Me singer has made the request to friends and family members, with the star thanking Hits Radio presenter James Barr on Twitter this week for a tweet referring to the star as ‘they.’ 

A source told the website: ‘This is a decision Sam has thought long and hard about, including doing a lot of reading on up it.

‘He knows that it will take some people longer than others to fully get it.

Request: The singer's brave post comes after it was reported yesterday that Sam had asked loved ones to refer to them as 'they' rather than 'he'

Request: The singer’s brave post comes after it was reported yesterday that Sam had asked loved ones to refer to them as ‘they’ rather than ‘he’

‘First the request is going out to mates and then it will be passed on to the music industry too. It’s an exciting and groundbreaking time for him.’

MailOnline contacted Sam’s representatives for comment at the time.

On Monday, James tweeted: ‘just interviewed @samsmith and they sounded so happy and free and more themselves than ever. it’s made me feel like the world is a good place again.’

Support: Sam thanked presenter James Barr for referring to the singer as 'they' in a tweet this week

Support: Sam thanked presenter James Barr for referring to the singer as ‘they’ in a tweet this week

Sam responded the next day: ‘You’re one of the first people to use these pronouns with me. Thank you. That feels really beautiful.’      

In March, Sam came out as non-binary, explaining that they fluctuate between identifying with the male and female gender.

A person who identifies as non-binary doesn’t define themselves exclusively as masculine or feminine‍, and prefers they/them pronouns. 

Two months later the How Do You Sleep? singer detailed their experience with their sexuality in an insightful interview with British GQ magazine to celebrate GQ Heroes, admitting to feeling like they don’t really fit in, which made them ‘really depressed and sad’.

The Writing’s On The Wall hitmaker also detailed their ‘violent and scary’ experiences in the gay community after first moving to London, revealing they had therapy in a bid to come to terms with several ‘traumatic’ encounters.

Iconic: In March, Sam came out as non-binary, explaining that they fluctuate between identifying with the male and female gender (pictured in September 2019)

Iconic: In March, Sam came out as non-binary, explaining that they fluctuate between identifying with the male and female gender (pictured in September 2019)

Discussing their decision to come out as non-binary, Sam explained: ‘Ever since I was a little boy, ever since I was a little human, I didn’t feel comfortable being a man really. I never really did.

‘Some days I’ve got my manly side and some days I’ve got my womanly side, but it’s when I’m in the middle of that switch that I get really, really depressed and sad. Because I don’t know who I am or where I am or what I’m doing, and I feel very misunderstood by myself. I realised that’s because I don’t fit into either.

‘I was with my mum last night and she said something so beautiful. ‘I’m so relieved that you and me and your whole family have a way to explain this, because it’s also been eating me up your whole life.’ Because my mum could see it and that it was a torture going on in my mind.

While Sam is happy to be a role model for young people going through the same thing, the star admitted they are very ‘scared’ to speak so publicly about it.  

Oscar-winner: Discussing their decision to come out as non-binary, Sam explained: 'Ever since I was a little boy, ever since I was a little human, I didn't feel comfortable being a man really. I never really did

Oscar-winner: Discussing their decision to come out as non-binary, Sam explained: ‘Ever since I was a little boy, ever since I was a little human, I didn’t feel comfortable being a man really. I never really did

They said: ‘But I’m also very scared, because I’ve lived my life as a minority and now it makes me scared because I’m trying to explain it to people around me and they don’t understand.

‘It feels like a new conversation, but I’m now learning it isn’t a new conversation and it’s been around for so long.’

Sam also touched upon their first experiences with the gay community after moving to London to further their career following a quiet and sheltered upbringing.

‘My first experiences with the gay community weren’t the greatest; it was quite violent and scary at times’, they said.

‘And growing up in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere, it was quite a shock to the system when I moved to London.

Worldwide sensation: Sam is one of the best selling artists in the world, with an Oscar to their name

Worldwide sensation: Sam is one of the best selling artists in the world, with an Oscar to their name 

‘I used to love the Vauxhall scene, but everything is getting closed down, which I find really depressing. I know it was dark at times, but it was thrilling and freeing. I miss that for sure. Now I don’t go out that much.’  

Probed further about those formative experiences, Sam revealed they had been forced to seek therapy after several ‘traumatic’ experiences, which they believe have left them ‘stunted’ towards love.

They detailed: ‘It was mainly sexual. I didn’t really realise how awful they were until I started therapy and started to uproot some of that stuff. It was a lot.’

‘ Those first experiences, they weren’t very kind. I wasn’t hurt, it wasn’t anything absolutely awful, but it was traumatic.

‘It wasn’t a good welcoming into my sexual life and my life as a young man. I think it definitely stunted my belief in love at times.

‘That’s probably the first time I started to feel sadness. I’m making it sound like it was mental. It wasn’t orgies. It was just a very different life to the one I knew in the countryside.’

Sam has remained single since their split from 13 Reasons Why actor Brandon Flynn last year after nine months of dating.  

A source told The Sun at the time: ‘Sam and Brandon had a real whirlwind romance. They really fell for each other. But they are both so busy with their careers and unfortunately things just haven’t worked out.’   

Sam – who deleted a number of snaps of the pair from their social media accounts – was said to be ‘devastated’ about the split as Brandon was ‘the most significant’ romance the Too Good At Goodbyes singer has had. 

‘I’m still trying to figure out what I took from that relationship and what it meant to me. It’s still quite raw’, they recently told The Times.

Fashion icon: Sam was praised by fans earlier this month for wearing heels to their first red carpet event (pictured earlier this year)

Fashion icon: Sam was praised by fans earlier this month for wearing heels to their first red carpet event (pictured earlier this year)

Sam had previously dated other men, including Jonathan Zeizel for around two months in 2015, and has used their heartbreak as inspiration for their music.

Sam believes gay men reach sexual maturity later in life, revealing they feel ‘very inexperienced’ in affairs of the heart.

‘It’s something I battle with all the time’, they told GQ. ‘I think it’s the root of all my problems and sadness. 

‘When it comes to work I feel like a 40-year-old man – my responsibilities, where I live, it’s nuts. 

‘But in terms of my romantic life I feel very young, very inexperienced. It’s really hard. I think that’s the same for all queer people.’   

Sam first bravely spoke out in Jameela Jamil’s new I Weigh Interview series in March, discussing what being ‘non-binary’ and ‘genderqueer’ meant to them.

The four-time Grammy winner admitted: ‘You do not identify in a gender. You are just you. You are your own special creation. That is how I take it. I am not male or female. I think I float somewhere in between – somewhat on the spectrum.’  

Giving further context, Sam responded: ‘I’ve always had a bit of a war in my body and my mind… I do think like a woman in my head at times.

‘I’ve sometimes sat there and questioned, do I want a sex change? It’s something I still think about, but I don’t think it is,’ he explained.

Sam also revealed they have always been ‘very free’ when it comes to thinking about their sexuality.

‘I’ve tried to change that into my thoughts on gender… when I move, when I have sex with men, it’s very feminine. I’m feminine in many ways – and I’ve resented that,’ they stated.

Success story: Sam rose to fame in 2014 with their debut album In The Lonely Hour (pictured 2015

Success story: Sam rose to fame in 2014 with their debut album In The Lonely Hour (pictured 2015

Read more at DailyMail.co.uk


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