Sexologist answers the most common questions she's asked

Dr Nikki Goldstein says Australians want to know if their sex lives are normal
She says that communication is the key to a healthy sexual relationship
The author reveals her top tips for keeping the spark alive in the bedroom

By Sheree Mutton For Daily Mail Australia

Published: 02:10 BST, 27 October 2017 | Updated: 07:46 BST, 27 October 2017

What is really happening in the bedrooms of Australian men and women? It’s a topic that few people discuss outside their relationship.

Now sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein has revealed that many of the sexual problems Australians face are related to whether they think they are normal.

The author and relationship expert says the most common questions she’s asked are: “Am I normal?” and “How do I have more sex?”

Sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein (pictured) says Australians want to know if they are normal

Sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein (pictured) says Australians want to know if they are normal

She says many people wonder if what they are doing in the bedroom, what they desire and what their sexual partner is doing is similar to everyone else.

‘Another major category is wanting to improve things whether it’s lasting longer, being more turned on, having more orgasms or having more sex in general,’ Dr Goldstein tells FEMAIL.

According to Dr Goldstein Australians want to improve their sex lives so they are having more sessions and orgasms

According to Dr Goldstein Australians want to improve their sex lives so they are having more sessions and orgasms

‘But unfortunately our expectations for many of those are unrealistic and it can be a matter of first looking at what are better goals to good sex in the first place.’

She says communication is key for couples who are having sexual issues or lacking sex.

‘You need to start talking about these instead of sweeping these under the rug,’ she tells FEMAIL.

The author, who has a podcast called Sex and Life, believes couples need to be more open and honest with each other

The author, who has a podcast called Sex and Life, believes couples need to be more open and honest with each other

‘It’s also important to seek help if you feel like you are really getting stuck.

‘There should be no shame in couples counselling and therapy and instead be seen as way to fix certain issues,’ she adds.

‘We are not taught how to be in a relationship so how can we be expected to get it right.’

HOW TO KEEP THE SPARK ALIVE

1. Always continue to talk and address any issues as they arise. Often if there is a decline in sex, specifically from one partner not being interested. It can be a matter of a deeper more emotional issue at play instead of a problem in the bedroom.

2. Make sure you do fun things outside of the relationship as well. It’s important to have overall satisfaction so you are able to transfer that mood into the bedroom.

3. Talk about sex. So many couples can have sex but are too scared to have awkward conversations around it. You need to be discussing what sexual pleasure means to you and also what you might want to do differently.

Source: Dr Nikki Goldstein