Sexologist Jacqueline Hellyer shares her top tips on how to broach the topic of a sexual fantasy

Everyone has their own fantasy that floats their boat sexually.

But how can you bring up the raunchy imagination you have been secretly dreaming about to your partner without being awkwardly rejected?

Speaking on The Morning Show, sexologist Jacqueline Hellyer shared her expertise on the back of singer Guy Sebastian who recently confessed that he pitched the idea of naughty role plays to his wife Jules – but she wasn’t too keen on his fantasy.

Here, the Sydney relationship coach revealed her top tips to on how to discuss the topic of a sexual fantasy – and what to do if your partner shuts down your idea.

Everyone has their own fantasy that floats their boat sexually. But how can you bring up the raunchy imagination to your partner without being awkwardly rejected? (stock image)

‘Sexual fantasies turn you on. It’s something that engages your mind and engages the body – and it makes you want to engage with your partner,’ she said.

She explained sexual fantasies doesn’t necessarily mean strictly role plays. In fact, it could be anything that tickles your fancy.

‘A fantasy doesn’t have to be a “scene” as such. You can have romantic fantasies, you can have sensual fantasies or wicked fantasies… There’s all sorts of things that can turn you on,’ Jacqueline said.

And while many people would assume fantasies involve something extraordinary like BDSM or orgies, Jacqueline said it could be as simple as filling the bedroom up with chocolates.

‘[Sexual fantasies] could be as simple as having sex outside or in a different part of the house or it could be something more sensual like setting up the bedroom with beautiful music and lots of chocolate and champagne,’ she explained.

‘Everyone has different fantasies, different things that turn them on that they desire and makes them go “that sounds rather nice”.

‘So often, we keep our fantasies locked in our heads because we’re worried about what the response from our partner might be.’

Singer Guy Sebastian recently confessed that he pitched the idea of naughty role plays to his wife Jules - but she wasn't too keen on his fantasy (pictured together)

Singer Guy Sebastian recently confessed that he pitched the idea of naughty role plays to his wife Jules – but she wasn’t too keen on his fantasy (pictured together)

Sexologist Jacqueline Hellyer (pictured) revealed her top tips to broach the topic of a sexual fantasy - and what to do if your partner shuts down your idea

Sexologist Jacqueline Hellyer (pictured) revealed her top tips to broach the topic of a sexual fantasy – and what to do if your partner shuts down your idea

So what should you do if your partner refuses to take part in your fantasy?

‘So do it in a positive way. You don’t want to be whiny like “you’re so boring, why can’t we do something interesting?”,’ Jacqueline explained.

‘It’s more like “darling, you know you’re really gorgeous and I just got this idea that I’d like to share with you, let’s have a chat”.’

Jacqueline said couples don’t necessarily have to accomplish something out of the ordinary, but instead use the fantasy to explore each other.

‘Just because your partner says “I’d like to try something or I have a fantasy about something”, doesn’t mean you have to do it,’ she said.

‘It’s more about finding out about them. Sometimes just sharing a fantasy can be erotic and freeing.’

For beginners, Jacqueline said there are simple fantasy ideas to try out if you’re keen to spice up your relationship but don’t know where to start.

She suggested bringing chocolate into the bedroom or use the hot tub that you never use with your partner.

‘Bring in a little toy of some sort,’ she added.

‘Just challenge your partner, go down to your kitchen and find something and bring it into the bedroom and “let’s see what we can do with it”.’

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