A woman who hadn’t been on a date in 10 years after losing her partner in a car accident has shared how going on 138 dates in three years led her to her husband – and taught her some valuable lessons in love along the way.
In 2012 at 34, entrepreneur Rebekah Campbell decided to start dating again after realising she was ready for a relationship and a family.
‘On Christmas morning I woke up on a fold-out bed in the garage of some friends of my parents and thought “I need to make a change”,’ Rebekah told Daily Mail Australia.
‘I knew that if I didn’t do something I was going to be alone for the rest of my life.’
Jumping into the dating world, Rebekah set herself a new year’s resolution to go on one date every week for a year to find her perfect match.
After ten years entrepreneur Rebekah Campbell (pictured) decided to start dating again after realising she wanted a relationship and family one day
Rebekah, now 43, hadn’t dated for a decade after tragically losing her partner in a car accident.
‘Dealing with the death and sorrow of someone I loved at such a young age really threw me off and I didn’t date for a long time because I was grieving,’ she said.
Throughout the 10 years, she had built herself a successful career and was the brain behind massive tech companies, including the popular coffee-ordering app Hey You.
While starting to date again was daunting at first, Rebekah was determined to stick to her mission.
‘I’m not the smartest or most strategic person, but I’m great at sticking to and achieving goals,’ she said.
‘I didn’t know whether the strategy would work but I was willing to give it everything I had and a date a week gave me 52 opportunities.’
Rebekah described her strategy as a ‘massive learning experience’ as she was ‘ghosted and friend-zoned’ on several occasions.
After recalling the details of her journey, she also released a book titled ‘138 dates’
To speed out the process and ‘sift out’ any potential bad matches, Rebekah made use of what she described as a ‘screening process’ that involved arranging a phone call date prior to meeting in person.
‘I would message people on eharmony during the week and arrange phone chats for Sunday afternoons,’ she said.
The process made it easier for Rebekah to determine who was using the platform to find the right partner and who wasn’t.
When she would arrange to meet someone for a date in person she would always meet at one of two venues in Sydney, and if things were going well they would order dinner at the restaurant.
Rebekah said she didn’t have any set ‘dating rules’, but she would always offer to pay her half of the bill and only kissed on the first date ‘if it felt right’.
‘Throughout the dating process I really grew into myself – I stopped second guessing, started being more open with people and if they didn’t come back then I knew they weren’t the right one for me,’ she said.
‘I learnt so much about dating, like how to be flirty and what body language or physical touch can signal.
‘I originally wanted someone who was smart, tall and fun, but by dating I realised I instead wanted a nice guy who is empathetic, self-reflective and committed,’ she said.
Upon reflection, Rebekah said she doesn’t regret anything because her actions and choices were made at the right time and led her to the right person.
On the 139th date Rebekah went on a date in Sydney with a university teacher from Sydney who is her husband today
Rebekah and her husband Rod now live in New Zealand with their two young children (pictured)
On the 139th date Rebekah went out to dinner with a university teacher from Sydney who is her husband today.
She knew he was the right one for her as they had a genuine connection, similar personal values and was an all-round ‘nice person’ she was looking for.
The pair now have two beautiful young children and enjoy their lives in New Zealand.
Going on 138 dates also allowed Rebekah to understand the ‘dating market’ and made her realise the dating pool thins with age, as most people are often coupled up by their early thirties.
After recalling the details of her journey, she wrote and released a book titled ‘138 dates’ which is now available from Big W, Target and Booktopia.
As major cities on both Australia and New Zealand are currently in lockdown, Rebekah offered her helpful advice to singles.
Her number one recommendation was to make use of phone calls and FaceTime chats before, or instead of, meeting someone in person from dating apps.
‘You can save so much time simply by calling people rather than meeting up in person – and it’s perfect for lockdown,’ she said.
When dating Rebekah said it’s ‘so important’ to find out if your goals and values align with the other person – as this will help determine your compatibility and if you want the same things in life.