Sorry chaps, being a kept man is bad for your health

For modern men sick of the daily grind, it may seem like the perfect solution.

But stepping back from work to let your wife be the main breadwinner may not be quite as relaxing as it sounds.

It turns out that being a kept man may be rather dangerous for your health, raising the risk of suffering heart problems, chronic lung disease and stomach ulcers.

Men whose partners are the main earner are thought to suffer from stress-related physical conditions because their masculinity is damaged. Toppled from the position of breadwinner, they may also seek to regain their manliness through smoking, drinking and eating unhealthily.

US sociologists from Rutgers University studied almost 1,100 married couples over three decades, finding health problems in men whose wife became the main breadwinner early or late in the marriage.

It turns out that being a kept man may be rather dangerous for your health, raising the risk of suffering heart problems, chronic lung disease and stomach ulcers

Psychologist Professor Cary Cooper, from Manchester Business School, who was not involved in the study, said most men still see their role as the main provider, despite the leap in recent decades in the numbers of wives working.

He said: ‘We like to talk about the role of ‘new man’ in the family structure, spending more time with the kids and less out at work. But the fact is most men still think they should be the primary breadwinner.

‘When they no longer play that role, their health suffers psychologically and that in turns damages their physical health. And it’s much worse if they have been made redundant. It will take generations before this mindset really changes.’

Psychologist Professor Cary Cooper, from Manchester Business School, who was not involved in the study, said most men still see their role as the main provider, despite the leap in recent decades in the numbers of wives working.

Psychologist Professor Cary Cooper, from Manchester Business School, who was not involved in the study, said most men still see their role as the main provider, despite the leap in recent decades in the numbers of wives working.

Previous research has found house-husbands are more likely to be unfaithful, with the risk of an affair rising the greater the earnings gap with their spouse.

While women who are the main breadwinners may try harder to keep their marriage on track, their husbands are more likely to abuse them or cut back on their contribution to housework.

The latest study looked at men who had always been breadwinners, those who held that position for most of their marriage and couples who alternated in breadwinning over the years.

The researchers also examined the effect of becoming a kept man early in a marriage in your twenties and thirties, midway through, and later on in your fifties or sixties.

Compared to men who had always been the main provider, those who lost their breadwinner status as young or older men were more likely to suffer stress-induced stomach ulcers, heart problems and chronic lung disease.

Explaining the effect on younger men, who also slightly raised their risk of high blood pressure, the study states: ‘Given pervasive expectations that young men will invest heavily in their careers to ensure future success and that they will provide financially for their dependent children, we might expect that the negative consequences of wife breadwinning are particularly strong for men who violated the breadwinning norm during young adulthood when expectations are most stringent.’

Men whose partners are the main earner are thought to suffer from stress-related physical conditions because their masculinity is damaged 

Men whose partners are the main earner are thought to suffer from stress-related physical conditions because their masculinity is damaged 

Explaining the effect on older men, who may let younger wives shoulder the financial burden as they come close to retirement, co-author Deborah Carr, now professor of sociology at Boston University, said: ‘Men who came of age in the 1950s and were raised to be the main breadwinner may feel they are falling short, and may be made to feel inadequate by their peers, family members, and even their spouse and children.

‘These processes of stigmatisation can take a toll on a man’s sense of masculinity, self, and competence.’

She added: ‘Men who do not uphold the male breadwinner role may feel like a professional failure, or may feel that they are failing their families by not providing for them economically.

Toppled from the position of breadwinner, they may also seek to regain their manliness through smoking, drinking and eating unhealthily

Toppled from the position of breadwinner, they may also seek to regain their manliness through smoking, drinking and eating unhealthily

‘Men who hold particularly rigid gender role expectations also may be troubled by their wives’ career success and earnings capacity, especially if the husband believes his wife’s work activities are taking away from her home-making activities.’

The study, published in the Journal of Ageing and Heath, are likely to be a warning to former high-fliers like ex-Prime Minister David Cameron.

Despite reports that he has earned more than £100,000 per speech since losing office, his wife Samantha, who owns her own successful fashion chain, is now thought to be the regular breadwinner.

However US researchers looked only at couples born between 1931 and 1941.

 

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