Noise Off
Lyric Hammersmith Until July 27, 2hrs 10mins
Noises Off is an imperishable glory. For nearly 40 years St John Ambulance teams have been dragging patrons out into the foyer with split sides.
Stern critics have been seen crying helplessly into their notebooks. This farce – to which The Play That Goes Wrong owes a whopping debt – has generously spread happiness about like heavenly marmalade.
A shame, then, that this production is a dud.
Noises Off is an imperishable glory. For nearly 40 years St John Ambulance teams have been dragging patrons out into the foyer with split sides. So it’s a shame that his production is a dud
If you’ve never seen it, it’s about a handful of incompetent actors in a sex farce, which, far from being a tour de force, is forced to tour. It’s called ‘Nothing On’, by the (fictional) author of ‘Socks Before Marriage’. The real author, though, is the fiendishly clever Michael Frayn, now 85.
The farce-within-a-farce is a chintzy country-house affair involving several slammable doors, a burglar, an Arab sheikh, a slow-witted charlady and a couple hoping for a spot of nookie.
The show’s director is a philanderer (an on-target Lloyd Owen in the part originated by Paul Eddington in 1982 at this very theatre), whose cast features fading soap star Dotty Otley (Meera Syal) as the char. ‘Am I getting some of them right?’ she asks about her lines. ‘Some of them have a familiar ring,’ the director replies sarkily.
While Lloyd Owen is on-target as the show’s director, in general the cast is uneven, with Meera Syal as Dotty (above) and Simon Rouse’s Selsdon particularly disappointing
Across three acts we see the play at its dress rehearsal in Weston-super-Mare, from backstage on tour in Ashton-under-Lyne, then later in Stockton-on-Tees.
The cast spectacularly fall out. Backstage is a battlefield of sabotaged shoelaces, axe-wielding, nosebleeds, tiffs, affairs, betrayals and cactus-up-the-bottom agony.
The final act finds a descent into a riot of outrageous ad-libbing, dropped sardines and dropped trousers.
While the slapstick is staged with precision, the gap between the actors and the parts they are playing is carelessly blurred and the first act is virtually mirthless. Above: Debra Gillet and Syal
Sadly, Jeremy Herrin’s production never takes wing. The first act is virtually mirthless, the cast uneven. Meera Syal isn’t funny or mumsy enough as dear old Dotty, who’s having a fling with the young lead, Garry (Daniel Rigby).
Simon Rouse disappointingly underplays the drunken, deaf old ham, Selsdon.
Jonathan Cullen is spot-on, however, as a dim luvvie. Debra Gillett is his match as the company gossip, and Amy Morgan is a flakey actress.
But while the slapstick is staged with precision, the gap between the actors and the parts they are playing is carelessly blurred.
The crucial test for Noises Off is whether or not it hurts your ribs. This version has sporadic laughter but zero ecstasy. At worst, it leaves the play looking cold, and its dislike of actors too obvious.
The Hunt
Almeida Theatre, London Until August 3, 2hrs 5mins
Rating: 
A primary school teacher in a rural Danish school upsets a six-year-old girl by not accepting her lollipop.
He soon finds himself accused of sexually interfering with her. The girl is making it up, but the community turns very nasty in this vigilante drama.
Tobias Menzies (above) plays a teacher accused of interfering with a pupil in this vigilante drama which, although sinister, is not chilling enough to give you goose bumps
Adapted by David Farr from the 2012 film, director Rupert Goold’s staging is heavily ritualistic. But the set’s rotating glasshouse looks a bit B&Q and is no substitute for the film’s wintry look.
Tobias Menzies is unreadable enough as the poor teacher to see why people might suspect him. Stuart Campbell nicely plays his loyal son Marcus, and Taya Tower is spookily good as the little girl, Clara.
It’s certainly sinister, but not chilling enough to give you goose bumps.
Europe
Donmar Warehouse, London Until August 10, 2hrs 15mins
Rating: 
How odd that Michael Longhurst would want to launch his new artistic tenure at the Donmar with a play as punishingly uncheerful as this 1994 piece by David Greig.
It is set in a soon-to-be-closed railway station in eastern Europe. Wise old Sava (Kevork Malikyan) and his angry daughter Katia (Natalia Tena) are homeless migrants camping in the waiting room.
David Greig’s depressing 1994 play proves a decidedly odd choice for Michael Longhurst’s inaugural production at the Donmar Warehouse. Above: Kevork Malikyan and Ron Cook
The couple soon attracts the racist anger of local, newly jobless men. Violence erupts. The grumpy station master (Ron Cook), however, turns out to be rather kind.
Now, Greig’s vision of an anti-migrant Europe looks prescient. But it’s full of a wearying nihilism and is written in alienating poetry. For all the anger, despair and displacement, this should have been rewritten as a satire about Southern Rail.
An impressive final conflagration livens things up, but I wanted to lie down on the imaginary tracks and pray for a train.
The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13¾
Ambassadors Theatre, London Until October 12, 2hrs 20mins
Rating: 
At the start of this musical, reminded just how hilarious Sue Townsend’s 1982 bestseller was, I worried that young writers Jake Brunger and Pippa Cleary had their work cut out trying to match her in the songs.
I needn’t have: this blossoms into one of the most purely enjoyable, funny British musicals I’ve seen. Its creatives translate the spirit of Mole with obvious, abiding affection, but also enough panache to transfer to the West End.
Sue Townsend’s hilarious book is now on stage thanks to this enjoyable adaptation. Nicholas Antoniou-Tibbitts (above with Kobi Watson) seems born to play the titular angsty teenager
Not that it’s especially glitzy – in fact, there’s an endearing scrappiness that suits this portrait of Eighties suburban England. The only gripe is that the tunes are forgettable.
I saw Nicholas Antoniou-Tibbitts in the lead role, a part he appears destined to play.
He nails the deadpan timing needed for Adrian, a pretentious wannabe poet and glumly misunderstood teenager.
A small cast (including Lara Denning as Miss Elf, above) inhabits many other roles, with special mention due to John Hopkins’ devastatingly funny turn as a sleazy, tango-dancing neighbour
A small cast heartily inhabits many other roles, with Amy Ellen Richardson standing out as Adrian’s conflicted mum, and John Hopkins devastatingly funny as a sleazy, tango-dancing neighbour.
Brunger and Cleary smartly expand the adults’ stories – all the naughty stuff that goes over Adrian’s head – making this show a treat for grown-ups as well as those aged 13 and three-quarters.
Holly Williams