A mother-of-one who was diagnosed with dementia when she was 48 has opened up about the heartbreaking reality of living with the condition.
Debbie Willcocks, now 53, from Swansea, has lost her independence, job and is even unable to cook on her own since the diagnosis.
She has accepted that one day she will no longer recognise her own daughter as her life has been turned ‘upside down’ by the incurable disorder.
Now, Mrs Willcocks has shared the struggles, fears and small triumphs of living with early onset dementia, which leaves her anxious in public.
Writing in a first-person piece for WalesOnline, she said: ‘One day I will not know who I am, where I am or who is around me but I don’t think about that.
Debbie Willcocks, now 53, from Swansea, has lost her independence, job and is even unable to cook on her own since the dementia diagnosis five years ago
‘I just think about what I am doing tomorrow… I don’t think about what’s going to happen in the end.’
She added: ‘I don’t like the word dementia very much, you just think of old people in homes, but that isn’t what dementia is to start with.
‘You will deteriorate so you need to make the most of the time that you have got.’
Mrs Willcocks’ dementia is believed to have been triggered by a mini-stroke caused by a lack of blood flow to the brain in 2010.
Over the next two years, she struggled with her memory and was unable to work. Mrs Willcocks said: ‘Life around me was falling apart.’
Initially, doctors at Singleton Hospital refused to give her a brain scan because she was yet to turn 50, she claims.
After battling to get a diagnosis, she was eventually told that she had early-onset dementia, which occurs before people turn 65.
The transient ischemic attack, known medically as a TIA, stopped her flow of blood and damaged vital brain cells – which leads to memory loss and other symptoms of dementia.
She has accepted that one day she will no longer recognise her own daughter as her life has been turned ‘upside down’ by the incurable disorder (pictured with friends at the social and information group for people living with dementia and their loved ones)
Mrs Willcocks added: ‘For me having the diagnosis was a relief because I knew something was wrong. My life was turned upside down.
‘I was working full-time, I used to drive, I was extremely independent and my husband and I didn’t have a joint bank account until the diagnosis.
‘I can no longer work out the finances, my independence has been taken away from me.’
She continued: ‘When my husband comes home we cook things together as I’m not allowed to use the cooker on my own.
‘If I’m doing something on the stove and the phone rings, I’ll answer the phone and forget that I’m cooking.’
She said as a result of her lapse in memory, she and her husband have had to change from using a gas to an electric hob.
Now, Mrs Willcocks relies on her diary and calendar to remind her of her daily tasks, and her husband and sister ring her each day to check up on her.
Her daughter, who works in the NHS and receives dementia training, also texts each day to make sure that she is ‘ticking along’.
As well as lapses in memory, Mrs Willcocks also suffers from public anxiety.
She said that she is unable to go on holidays abroad anymore as the disease means she is fearful of crowded airports.
Mrs Willcocks said: ‘If someone wants to do something then I have to know when and what time, I don’t like people being late I don’t cope very well.
‘My friends can’t just turn up at my house anymore for coffee, I need advanced notice, so I can prepare mentally.
‘I don’t like crowds or background noise, I will never be able to go to a concert or a noisy restaurant.’
She added that when she struggles with her memory in public, many strangers are shocked to find out she has dementia.
They often assume she is too young to suffer. She said: ‘I look like a perfectly healthy adult, until I have a bad day.’