A married couple who are spicing up the bedroom by having sex with strangers have revealed how their swinging lifestyle strengthens their relationship.
Cee*, 33, and Dee*, 42, otherwise known as C&D in the swinging world, started engaging in sex with other people in January 2014.
The pair, originally from Queensland but now live in Sydney, enjoy their lifestyle so much, they also have their own podcast to share their soiree into the experience.
For the past four years, the professional working couple have bonded over their sexual adventures, including meeting like-minded people around the world.
They have attended parties, hosted events, engaged in partner swaps, been with at least eight people on a bed and taken part in a 10-people hot-tub.
Speaking to Daily Mail Australia, the duo, who have been together for nine years, offered a glimpse into their lives as swingers.
Cee*, 33, and Dee*, 42, otherwise known as C&D in the swinging world, started engaging in sex with other people in January 2014
‘In terms of bedroom play, we’ve been in and around eight to 10 people on bed, some engaging with each other and swapping, others just with partners and we’ve been in a hot tub with 10 people,’ she said.
‘Just because parties or bedrooms contain people it doesn’t mean you always swap or interact, that’s a common misunderstanding. Consent is key and so is connection.
‘We have met hundreds of swingers all over the world, people in Queensland and Sydney right through to people at a clothing optional resort in Mexico.
‘We’ve met people from all walks of life, socioeconomic backgrounds, religious beliefs, business people and stay at home parents. It’s amazing to know that we all have at least one thing in common.’
The couple started talking about exploring their sexual desires and wildest fantasies.
‘We started discussing sexual desires and fantasies, one night Dee was curious about what I wanted out of life sexually,’ she said.
‘It wasn’t an unusual question as we had been friends for so many years and have a strong foundation we often discus life, the universe and everything.
‘Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t answer his question. This was not because I was shy or ashamed, it was more that I literally had no idea.
‘I’d never really thought about it or given myself the space to even contemplate what I wanted sexually.’
And so, they started researching and watching porn to see what piqued her sexual interest – and eventually, they thought about the possibility of adding other people to their sex life.
‘This led us to the idea of discussing other partners, what it would be like for a third, a fourth, what about singles, what about couples, more women, more men,’ she said.
‘From there the idea of swinging came about. What did it really mean? We didn’t know anything about it at the time so we started to research it.
‘From those original nights of research over wine and lots of discussion, we have now been enjoying the swinging lifestyle for four years.’
For the past four years, the professional working couple have bonded over their sexual adventures, including meeting like-minded people around the world
The couple both work in global roles that see them travelling the world to conduct business.
‘Sometimes if we’re lucky, we get to add on a weekend and sneak away somewhere sexy together which is an added bonus,’ she said.
The pair believe communication is key and they believe their sexual adventures have helped keep their relationship stronger than ever.
‘Communication is super important. Without a strong foundation and communication skills, a relationship will struggle in swinging,’ she said.
‘If you join swinging for the right reasons for you and your partner, you will find it to be very fulfilling to your relationship.
Communication is super important. Without a strong foundation and communication skills, a relationship will struggle in swinging… If you join swinging for the right reasons for you and your partner, you will find it to be very fulfilling to your relationship
‘You’d be surprised how much a relationship can grow when there is nothing that cannot be discussed, when you have the ability to openly communicate and share thoughts on whatever you like, when no subject or thought is judged or taboo.
‘How do we react seeing our significant other with someone else. We both firmly believe that our relationship is stronger as a result of the lifestyle and the sex has nothing to do with it.
‘Since being in the lifestyle, we have strengthened our ability to communicate which has led our relationship to being healthier and happier.
Cee insisted they hardly have any doubts on their relationship created by other potential partners because they always communicate.
‘Jealousy is certainly something that can creep into any relationship at any point in time and is an emotional battle field,’ she said.
‘Have we met people who are a younger, hotter, more successful versions of each other? Probably yes. Does that mean they are better suited for us, no.
‘Our journey is together as a couple, if we find a partner we think is compatible we are more likely to engage as pants on and off friends rather than feeling like they are a potential threat.
‘We have learned that there are many different ways to have a relationship, there is no one perfect mold for anyone and that we each have the power to choose our relationship the way it works for us.
‘We’ve also learned to be kind to ourselves through this journey, to allow ourselves the space and peace to think outside the box about all matters in life including sexuality.’
Surprisingly, Cee explained the swinging lifestyle isn’t just about sex – and they enjoy the experience for other reasons
And of course, there are rules in place when they are swinging.
‘Boundaries are certainly something that we have and are highly recommended to any single or couple interested in the lifestyle,’ she said.
‘Understanding what you want to experience and what is on or off limits is very important and healthy.
‘For us, we chose to engage in the lifestyle together so we play together, in the same room and preferably on the same surface – I’d say bed but that isn’t always the case.’
For us, we chose to engage in the lifestyle together so we play together, in the same room and preferably on the same surface – I’d say bed but that isn’t always the case
Surprisingly, Cee explained the swinging lifestyle isn’t just about sex – and they enjoy the experience for other reasons.
‘Most people are expecting us to write the three letter word… you’re all thinking it… Sex,’ she said.
‘It’s actually not the case for us, we were very surprised to find that the people you meet are just amazing, normal, exciting, interesting humans.
‘We have made so many pants on and off friends in the lifestyle that it’s almost impossible to imagine life without these people in it.
‘They are the most caring and compassionate people we’ve ever met, similar to our heightened communication, we’re also able to talk to our lifestyle friends about anything.
‘We find ourselves around a dinner table talking about everything from finances, politics, career aspirations through to anal sex and what lube is the best on the market right now.’
By sharing their story, the pair wanted to break the stigma surrounding the swinging lifestyle
And while they enjoy a life behind closed doors, the pair have been keeping their hobby underwraps from most people.
‘Very few ‘vanilla’ people in our life know about our hobby,’ Cee said.
‘We have told a few very close friends who have listened to our story and remained non-judgmental but whom would not be keen on trying it themselves.
‘A few select work colleagues know as well but for the most part we keep that part of our life separate.’
We have made so many pants on and off friends in the lifestyle that it’s almost impossible to imagine life without these people in it
The couple enjoy their hobby so much, they even launched their own podcast called Swinging Downunder.
‘When we first started our journey, we had no idea what we were doing, what to look for, what to discuss and what rules or boundaries to consider,’ Cee said.
‘We did the best we could with what research was available at the time. So, in order to pass it forward we started a global podcast.
‘We talk about topics, questions, lifestyle, events and our mishaps along the way. We do our best to be authentic and share a lot of ourselves on the podcast.
‘We hope that we can help one couple or single in their own journey and help people to not feel isolated or alone in their feelings.’
The pair believe communication is key and they believe their sexual adventures have helped keep their relationship stronger than ever
By sharing their story, the couple wanted to break the stigma surrounding the swinging lifestyle.
‘When swinging is brought up at a party or at a work function, it’s always with this idea of 1970s key parties where you take some random person to your bed,’ she said.
We get that people don’t want to join in on what we do, that’s perfectly fine, it’s not for everyone and we respect that, we just ask for the same consideration in return
‘Often, people believe that swinging and the idea of ethical non-monogamy is dirtier than cheating.
‘People in everyday life might forgive a cheating partner quicker than they will accept that we choose to engage in activities together as a couple.
‘If I could change one thing it would be kindness. To allow us all to carve our way through life and decide what works best for us.
‘We get that people don’t want to join in on what we do, that’s perfectly fine, it’s not for everyone and we respect that, we just ask for the same consideration in return.’
*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.