All families go through their own struggles but some go through more trials and tribulations than most, which is the case for Leah and Tahleah Houlden-Wood.
The loved-up couple from Sydney, who are both 30, are expecting their first child which is being carried by Tahleah, with hopes for a second to be on the way at the same time.
‘I’ve had three sets of donations and last month I had a miscarriage. We gave it half an hour to sink in then we let the negative energy go,’ Leah told Daily Mail Australia.
Leah and Tahleah Houlden-Wood, both 30, (pictured) from Sydney, are expecting their first child, with hopes for a second to be on the way
Unfortunately they don’t think the latest attempt has taken, but they won’t know for sure until they do a test.
‘We’re still waiting but we’re definitely trying to have some sort of overlap. It could be fun to have two babies in nappies,’ Tahleah said.
In July last year the couple decided to walk down to the courthouse and enter into a civil partnership and in March this year they had a ceremony with friends and family to announce that they would be calling each other wives.
Soon after this they decided that they wanted Tahleah to carry their baby but they wanted to avoid IVF for as long as possible.
‘There’s been lots of love surrounding the news of the pregnancy and with the plebiscite vote coming back yes, there was even more love then around it,’ Leah said.
The couple decided to come together with a civil union and had a ceremony in March this year with friends and family
The sperm they are using is donated by a friend, who they have a legal contract with.
While the Navy pays the thousands of dollars required for IVF as they are in a same-sex relationship, the couple decided to explore alternative options before they took that step.
The journey to their solution was a year-long process – they had been to many fertility clinic seminars to learn about different methods and realised the information on artificial insemination is rather limited.
‘I did a lot of research about what IVF puts your body through emotionally and physically, I know my body and I don’t think it needed to go through IVF,’ Tahleah said, explaining her decision.
Tahleah (pictured right) is in the Navy and is often sent out to sea for work
As nothing has been finalised in parliament it isn’t clear how this law would pass but the couple explained that thoughts at the moment are that civil unions won’t roll over to a legal marriage
‘IVF is for people who struggle to fall pregnant so we started to do some research into other options and found Stork Conception, one of the first fertility treatments created,’ she continued.
‘We decided against IVF to begin with, the only issue was that biologically we couldn’t make a baby together.’
The Stork Conception in home aid uses cervical cap insemination and now Tahleah is four months pregnant and is expecting in early April next year.
The couple decided that they also wanted Leah to experience pregnancy so they are working towards her becoming pregnant as well.
While the Navy pays the thousands of dollars required for IVF as they are in a same-sex relationship, the couple decided to explore alternative options before they took that step
‘Because of the nature of my work, I’m lucky I’m based on the shore at the moment, my team knew what I was trying to do so I was kept away from going to sea to achieve this,’ Tahleah told FEMAIL.
‘The mentality behind falling pregnant together is I will be on maternity leave when she’s pregnant, I won’t be able to go to sea for six months after the pregnancy and I want to be there for everything.’
Although at the beginning of the relationship they never thought they would be planning for children, a lot of conversations began to snowball once they started becoming more serious and soon they were talking about marriage and starting a family.
‘I did a lot of research about what IVF puts your body through emotionally and physically, I know my body and I don’t think it needed to go through IVF,’ Tahleah said
The journey to their solution was a year-long process – they had been to many fertility clinic seminars to learn about different methods
The couple met in 2014 through an app that they were using to meet new people and make new friends.
Tahleah had moved to Melbourne to live with a girlfriend but didn’t know anyone, so approached the app to meet like minded people, which is where she started talking to Leah.
Although the two bonded over similar interests the timing wasn’t right and they soon lost contact.
‘Then we ran into each other on a dating app in Sydney around October 2015,’ Tahleah explained.
‘I was visiting family. I was single at the time and we both had Tinder. Leah spotted me first but didn’t message me, she stalked my Facebook, in an endearing way, and messaged me there.’
‘Being in our position we want to be legally married and I have friends who have been waiting for years for this to happen,’ Leah said
‘We live in a nice part of Sydney where it’s open and queer friendly so it was nice to walk and everyone be so openly accepting,’ Tahleah said
The two of them spoke for a couple of weeks but never took it any further until six months later.
As Tahleah is a part of the Navy she often spends months at a time stationed at sea or in Cairns and tried to travel down to Sydney as often as possible to see friends and family.
‘It wasn’t until March 2016 I flew down from Cairns to visit family. It was Mardi Gras weekend and I didn’t have friends interested in going to I reached out to Leah.’
By this point the two of them had been talking on and off for two years so when one randomly reached it was never unusual.
The two decided to go for drinks the night before the parade and when it was time to leave Leah couldn’t remember where she parked.
This resulted them walking around for hours trying to locate it, which allowed them the opportunity to connect on a deeper level.
The couple met in 2014 through an app that they were using to meet new people and make new friends
Tahleah had moved to Melbourne to live with a girlfriend but didn’t know anyone, so approached the app to meet like minded people, which is where she started talking to Leah
‘We just spoke for hours while walking around, I gave her lots of outs, I offered to pay for her taxi but we chatted for so long I dropped her back at her mums at 4.30 in the morning,’ Leah shared with FEMAIL.
‘We were always respectful of each other and whatever was going on. If the other was in a relationship we would always be really supportive, there was never any pressure.’
After Mardi Gras Taleah jetted back to Cairns and they decided to start a long distance relationship, with Leah flying up most weekends.
‘There’s been lots of love surrounding the news of the pregnancy and with the plebiscite vote coming back yes, there was even more love around it,’ Leah said.
‘We announced it publicly two weeks before the results came out and one week before voting closed,’ Tahleah continued.
‘We were hoping doing that reached out to the friends and family that we weren’t able to have conversations with.
‘It was about putting faces they new behind the reasons why it was so important to have a say in the plebiscite.’
As Tahleah is a part of the Navy she often spends months at a time stationed at sea or in Cairns and tried to travel down to Sydney as often as possible to see friends and family
During the plebiscite, same sex relationships were openly discussed, sometimes in hurtful ways, which took a toll on members of the LGBTQIA community.
‘From my perspective, emotionally it didn’t take a toll on our relationship, we’re really lucky we have families who are open to listen to what’s going on for us.
‘But it really highlighted the legality of our family rather than the emotional side – my question was, what does this mean for my family and our legal rights?
‘If anyone asked me about the plebiscite I made them aware that my family right now is considered less than theirs.’
A lot of conversations began to snowball once they started becoming more serious and soon they were talking about marriage and starting a family
As nothing has been finalised in parliament it isn’t clear how this law would pass but the couple explained that thoughts at the moment are that civil unions won’t roll over to a legal marriage, like it has in other countries, and they will need to pay another fee.
Like most people on the day, Leah said she couldn’t help but feel emotional when the plebiscite survey result was announced.
‘Being in our position we want to be legally married and I have friends who have been waiting for years for this to happen and I was fortunate enough to be in Surry Hills, in the thick of it, when it all happened,’ Leah explained.
July last year they decided to walk down to the courthouse and enter into a civil partnership and in March this year they had a ceremony with friends and family
Tahleah was at work during this time and was struggling to find out the results.
‘I was trying to get information from the news and Leah called me crying on the end of the phone but I couldn’t tell if the result was a yes or no because of her tears,’ Tahleah explained.
‘It was a big day. We live in a nice part of Sydney where it’s open and queer friendly so it was nice to walk around and everyone be so openly accepting, it was exciting because we didn’t always have that in the past.’
Leah continued: ‘There was a gentleman who said congratulations and he was filled with so much joy, but it’s a congratulations for you too because you did your part and voted yes.
‘The feeling of acceptance publicly instead of worrying about being heckled was amazing, I was able to hold my wives hand without a care.’