In 2008, Fiona Shackleton represented Paul McCartney in his divorce from Heather Mills
A top divorce lawyer has urged all schools to teach children about marriage and ‘who to breed with’ to cut the number of divorces.
Fiona Shackleton, who represented Prince Charles in his divorce, said it was a ‘mistake’ to think that marriage is ‘just about the heart’.
She added too few people think about the ‘practicalities’ of marriage and focus instead on romantic things like the ‘white dress’ or ‘escape from home’.
She said children should be taught about how to find a sensible partner with whom to ‘rear children’ and to realise that unkind people ‘never change’ even after they become a husband or wife.
Speaking on BBC Radio 4’s Today Programme, she said that if schools hammered this home at an early age there would then be fewer divorces and more ‘happy children’.
Baroness Shackleton has recently backed a university research project to discover the components of the best marriages, so that they can be taught to youngsters.
Baroness Shackleton also represented Liam Gallagher in a case in London three years ago
She said: ‘I have sponsored a project… to research into what makes a successful marriage, what makes an unsuccessful marriage, with a hope that education which is severely lacking in schools who teach about alcohol abuse, drug abuse, sex and goodness knows what else, would devote just a little time to get students to focus on what is the most important decision they make, which is basically, who they breed with or from.’
Asked by host John Humphrys whether marriage was ‘about the heart as well as the head’, she replied: ‘That’s the mistake.’
‘It’s not just about the heart. It’s a practical arrangement which has to survive to rear children,’ she said.
‘And it’s the children who are the very sad losers when parents are selfish and decide that their own desires override those of their family.’
Baroness Shackleton said that the project has so far come up with a range of ideas to help people choose the perfect partner, including making a checklist for desirable traits.
She said people should be made aware of the fact that ‘you can’t change people’ even if you marry them, and that ‘you can’t make a mean person fundamentally generous’.
Baroness Shackleton (pictured in her earlier years in 1993) is the daughter of Bank of England adviser and Sheriff of the City of London, and was educated at Benenden School in Kent
This would mean marriages had a better chance of working out from the start, and therefore there would be fewer divorces and broken families, she said.
She added: ‘If they think about these things, not about the white dress, or escape from home, or many other reasons, not the love element, but the practicality of marriage, before they enter into it, then I would probably be doing myself out of a job more often.
‘There would be a lot more happy children running around.’
Baroness Shackleton’s project is with Exeter University, where she studied law, graduating in 1977.
The study found the best marriages were built on friendship, respect, realistic expectations, shared interests and humour.
It identifies ten questions to ask a lover to ensure a lasting relationship.
The questions were created after evidence from couples, family lawyers, mediators and judges to find the most important elements of a relationship.
The study recommends that couples revisit the questions regularly.
Anne Barlow, who led the study, said: ‘We found thriving relationships share some fundamental qualities. Mostly the couple have chosen a partner with whom they are a ‘good fit’ and have ways of successfully navigating stressful times.’
Questions include do we have a strong basis for friendship, do we want the same things, are we committed to working through tough times and do we see the best in each other?
Before starting her legal career Baroness Shackleton trained as a cordon bleu chef, becoming an executive caterer for a short while.
In 1984, she joined Farrer & Co, the royal solicitors, becoming a partner three years later.
She achieved public prominence after acting for Prince Andrew and Prince Charles during their divorces and subsequently represented Paul McCartney in his divorce from Heather Mills.