Mental health experts have revealed five tell-tale signs someone is a narcissist and how you can protect yourself from their abuse.
Alana Carvalho, a mental health counsellor from the US, shared five important questions people can ask themselves if they suspect someone they’re in a relationship with could be a narcissist.
Compiling information from psychology experts, she said narcissists can make people feel a lot of self doubt, disconnected from their own feelings, pushed away or like the relationship is all about them.
The mum-of-two said spotting if someone like a partner, co-worker family member or friend is a narcissist can help curb the person ‘laying the foundations for verbal, emotional or physical abuse’.
‘How do we spot those people who, at best, may bore us with a list of their achievements at parties or, at worst, may inflict some kind of abuse?’ Alana asked in an Instagram post.
Alana Carvalho (pictured), a mental health counsellor, shared a five questions people can ask themselves if they suspect someone they’re in a relationship with could be a narcissist
She explained narcissism is a personality trait and while everyone falls somewhere on the spectrum, the top 10 per cent of those with the highest levels are considered narcissists.
‘Noting how you feel around a person may be a good indicator of how they score on the narcissistic scale,’ she said adding one in 10 people are narcissists.
Alana suggesting asking yourself: Do you feel a lot of self doubt? Do you feel disconnected from your own feelings? Do you feel pushed away or drawn in?
She added to note whether the other person is ‘displaying’ or ‘actually expressing’ their feelings.
Finally, Alana said to ask whether there is balance in the relationship or if it’s all about the other person.
‘Conversations (and relationships) should be back and forth: You share vulnerability and the other person expresses care. Then the other person shares a vulnerability, and your return care,’ she explained.
‘Not so much with a narcissist.’
Spotting if someone like a partner, co-worker family member or friend is a narcissist can help curb the person ‘laying the foundations for verbal, emotional or physical abuse’ (stock image)
Narcissism, Alana explained, generally means a person has an inflated view of themselves and a lack of close warm relationships with other people.
‘Instead of genuine friendships, romantic partnerships and family ties, narcissists’ relationships may be defined by the triple E’s,’ she said.
The first ‘E’ stands for exploitation meaning they do whatever it takes, no matter the impact on others, to make themselves feel ‘special’.
Entitlement is the second ‘E’ where the person acts as if the world should ‘bend to their will’.
The last ‘E’ represents empathy impairments which makes a narcissist feel special compared to others.
‘These people who lose sight of the fact that other people have feelings, needs and perspectives of their own at all,’ Alana wrote.
‘These tendencies may lay the foundation for verbal emotional and physical abuse.’
Alana said there are three types of narcissists who uses different tactics to make themselves ‘feel special’.
An overt narcissist tends to be how most people view narcissism and will cope by feeling superior to others.
‘Covert narcissists feel special by being seen as the person suffering the greatest misfortune or misunderstanding,’ Alana said.
‘(What) this person is going though will inevitably overshadow whatever issues with which you may be dealing.’
The third type is a communal narcissist who feels special by being viewed as the most helpful person in any group.
Being aware of narcissistic tendencies can help someone avoid falling prey to their deception and tricks.
‘Do not blame yourself if you have found yourself getting caught in a narcissist’s web!’ Alana concluded.
‘It is very a very difficult dynamic and can be difficult to detect.’
Hundreds of the mental health expert’s followers applauded the insightful information with one saying: ‘Eye opening! So extremely helpful and confirmatory’.
‘So good…the entitlement one is so true and easy for people to get caught up in,’ a second wrote.
‘They’ll tell you that you’re responsible for the way they’re treating you,’ a third added.