The return of the agony aunt: How Gen Z are turning to online influencers to solve their problems

‘Agony aunts’ have long dolled out hard truths from the pages of a magazine, but the TikTok generation is seeking out a new brand of social media-savvy agony aunt (and uncles) who are on hand to offer validation and reassurance, rather than tough love. 

Rather than writing into their favourite columnist, Gen Z find their agony aunts on podcasts, Instagram and TikTok. Often the advice isn’t dished out by a qualified therapist, but by an influencer who has carved out a niche. 

Their poster girl is an American TikTok user named Tinx, whose videos have been ‘liked’ 80million times.

Therapist Caroline Plumer told FEMAIL that while Gen Z are more willing to open up about their emotions than their predecessors, they still feel ’embarrassed’ about their feelings so shy away from opening up to friends. 

She added young people may feel validated by having high-profile influencers giving their problems attention, and that users can get gratification instantly using their phone, in the same way they would with a taxi or takeaway, rather than wait for counselling. 

Meanwhile Nadine Pfeifer, founder and CEO of Little Nudge, said social media algorithms direct users to those with similar viewpoints, meaning they’re more likely to turn to an influencer than an objective third party who may disagree with them. 

She added that opinions constantly being reinforced over social media may not be beneficial to young people, who build ‘resilience to handle difference and challenge’  by engaging with those who have opposing viewpoints.  

TikTok user Tinx, whose real name is Christina Najjar, has proclaimed herself the ‘big sister’ of the app and offers advice on everything from dating to style 

Boasting 1.5M followers,30-year-old influencer Tinx is considered one of the most famous agony aunts on the app. She is pictured appearing on YouTube show Two Hot Takes 

Nadine explained: ‘Given social media algorithms, the more you use social media, the more your feed will cater to you and the more you will feel understood and supported. 

‘This level of feeling understood is harder to find in the real world, as you will more often be faced with antagonism or simply opposing viewpoints. 

‘The latter is key to building tolerance and understanding towards the various different views and ways of living in the world and build resilience to handle difference and challenge.’

She says that as humans it’s natural to gravitate towards those who will agree with us, however the ability to recognise and accept a range of viewpoints is beneficial in the long run. 

‘Of course, cognitive dissonance is a powerful force, so as humans we tend to avoid and or be less likely to engage much with things and people who are different to us,’ she said. 

‘So the algorithm-driven push through social media towards things we ‘like’ soothes us temporarily and gives us temporary/perceived comfort but actually undermines our general ability to recognise a broad range of viewpoints and become resilient.’

She says for young people who are confident, social media ‘enhances an already high baseline of drive and motivation’ however for those who are less self-assured, the immediate gratification of online therapy can ultimately have a negative impact. 

YouTube channel Two Hot Takes hosted by Morgan Absher solves the problems of anonymous Reddit users while reality star Nick Viall (right) gives advice on his podcast The Viall Files

‘For those with low confidence, social media can provide a perceived temporary high for wellbeing, but actually undermines you in the long-term,’ she said. 

‘But social media acts like a drug, and similar to smoking, we continue to engage with it because it provides us temporary relief.’ 

The list of influencers, celebrities or podcasters willing to dole out advice is abundant, with several gaining a name for themselves or reviving an dwindling career by offering guidance. 

Boasting 1.5M followers, 30-year-old influencer Tinx, whose real name is Christina Najjar, has proclaimed herself the ‘big sister’ of the app and offers advice on everything from dating to style. 

YouTube hit Two Hot Takes sees Morgan and her team of co-hosts scavenge the internet for juicy anonymous dating queries they can give their advice on

Reality star Nick Viall, 41, is best known for his appearance on The Bachelor, after finishing as runner-up in two consecutive seasons of The Bachelorette, and has used his fame to rebrand himself as a romance guru. 

His advice podcast The Viall Files sees Nick take calls with listeners for their Ask Nick Advice segment while exploring all things dating and love with special weekly guests. 

YouTube hit Two Hot Takes sees Morgan Absher and her team of co-hosts – including Tinx – scavenge the internet for juicy anonymous dating queries they can give their advice on.

One of the most successful variations of the ‘girl talk’ brand is Call Her Daddy, an advice and comedy podcast created by Alexandra Cooper and Sofia Franklyn in 2018.

One of the most successful variations of the ‘girl talk’ brand is Call Her Daddy, an advice and comedy podcast created by Alexandra Cooper (pictured with latest guest Julia Fox) and Sofia Franklyn in 2018

In June 2021 it was announced Cooper had signed an exclusive deal with Spotify worth $60 million, with the podcast formerly owned and distributed by Barstool Sports. 

Caroline explained that as young people want to ‘recognise and validate’ emotions, however find it easier to connect online due to the ‘shame attached to baring your deepest feelings’. 

‘Thankfully, today’s young people are also growing up in a world that is slowly starting to encourage us to recognise and validate our emotions, and deal with them in a healthy way,’ she said. 

As such it makes sense that not only has traditional therapy gone online but other forms of emotional support – such as therapy via SMS and social media agony aunts are rising to prominence. 

Reality star Nick, 41, is best known for his appearance on The Bachelor, after finishing as runner-up in two consecutive seasons of The Bachelorette, while 30-year-old influencer Tinx has over one and a half million followers on TikTok 

‘Whilst there have been improvements when it comes to normalising having strong emotions, there can still be embarrassment or even shame attached to baring your deepest feelings and these online options offer an anonymity that traditional therapy or talking to friends just can’t provide.’

She added that in a post-pandemic world where access to therapy and counselling is becoming increasingly difficult, young people are finding solace in online agony aunts. 

‘It also offers a free way of getting help in a society where access to mental health interventions can be very scarce or very expensive,’ said Caroline.  

‘Whilst social media can be a useful tool in solving a problem, it also creates its own issues when it comes to mental health. 

‘Whilst young women today may be able to access support in minutes on their phone, they are also being exposed to endless images of perfectly filtered and photoshopped women which can be hugely damaging to their own self-image. 

‘As such, it’s vital we educate today’s young people on both the advantages and dangers of ‘living’ online.’ 

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