If you design playgrounds for a living, and you want to build a place where children will love to swing, run, climb, and jump with smiles on their faces — then don’t take any cues from these examples.
All over the world, there are strange and baffling playground designs that couldn’t possibly have been designed with real, living children in mind.
There are those that seem incredibly dangerous, with slides that end suddenly, dip dramatically, or empty children off into risky spaces. There are others that are highly inappropriate, with imagery that might go over a kid’s head but would certainly raise a few eyebrows from adults.
And there are those that are the stuff of nightmares, with creepy characters and chilling that are sure to scare anyone of a jungle gym for life.
Here, FEMAIL has put together some of the most alarming examples of questionable equipment and seriously design fails.
Innocent: We bet plenty of parents plop their baby boys down on this structure… and save the picture to embarrass them with later
Hard as a… This rock-climbing structure definitely looks like something, we just can’t put our finger on it…
Sure, if you say so… Apparently, this ride is supposed to be a dragonfly
Playtime just got inappropriate! We’re not even sure what this is supposed to be
Wait a minute… Surely the person who designed this climbing equipment — which features shafts with two balls on one end and one on the other — knew what he was doing
Nothing to see here! It’s not actually clear what’s going on with this South Korean playground structure since the kids don’t seem to have heads… but it is most definitely not OK
Playground centipede? This odd structure looks ripped right from a revolting horror movie
Oh dear… Kids can experience the miracle of life all over again with this blow-up slide
He’ll never forget: This slide dumps a kid out through the elephant’s butt
More where that came from! It seems pooping elephants are a popular theme for slides
Welp: This slide seems to be the most fun for parents watching with cameras
In for a thrill? Someone thought putting a cement-lined hole at the bottom of this slide looked like a fun idea
Who thought this worked? Not only does this slide not have sides to hold a child in, but it also zig-zags — virtually guaranteed a child will fall right off
Chilling: Of course, this abandoned playground is no longer actually in use — but why didn’t anyone take down the slide when this highway was built?
Pitch perfect: This slide is perfect for fans of Disney’s Tower of Terror (who don’t mind face-planting or breaking a leg at the bottom)
What happened here? This playground is clearly still in use, even if the slide looks a bit… bumpy
Quick fix? The playground wasn’t actually built this way, but someone clearly though a clever fix for skipping over the puddle at the end of this slide was… wood
Stop clowning around! Bozo looks a bit too happy to see the kids at this park
What came first, the building or the swing set? Either way, it must pretty pretty sad — and painful — to swing toward a wall just feet away
Boo! This abandoned playground in Russia may have been less creepy when it was better cared for, but we doubt it
Yikes! Good luck getting your kid not to wet the bed after he or she plays at this park
Terrible game! It’s literally impossible to play Tic Tac Toe on this Tic Tac Toe set
Learn your alphabet: This isn’t much of a learning game if kids are taught to think the alphabet goes A B C D E F… M