Vegan woman urged NOT to attend relative’s wedding after being told to eat before attending

Vegan woman is ‘upset’ after relative asks her and her husband to eat before attending their wedding party because the couple ‘don’t want to cater’ for them

• Vegan woman, who lives in the UK, was invited to a relative’s wedding party 
• Posting on Mumsnet, explained she has been asked to eat before attending
• Responses urged the woman not to go to the celebration or send a wedding gift 
• But, others advised the woman to attend the party with her own vegan meal 

By Latoya Gayle For Mailonline

Published: 09:09 BST, 6 August 2021 | Updated: 09:09 BST, 6 August 2021

A vegan woman has revealed she was left ‘a little miffed’ after a family member asked her to eat at home before attending her wedding party. 

Posting on UK-based forum Mumsnet, the woman explained that she and her husband are vegan, and the bride and groom ‘don’t want to cater for us’, even though they’re accomodating others with dietary requirements and allergies. 

She added that the relative has invited them via text to a party to celebrate the marriage a few weeks after their wedding, but not to the ceremony.

Commenters said that they would refuse to attend the party and told her she shouldn’t feel obliged to give a gift either.  

An anonymous woman, who lives in the UK, has been left upset by an invitation stating she should eat before attending her family member’s wedding party (file image)

Posting on Mumsnet, the vegan woman explained that her family member hasn’t invited her to their wedding ceremony and doesn’t want to cater for her 

The woman, who explained that she doesn’t want to fall out with the bride and groom because of the situation, said: ‘A family member is getting married next year. My husband and I are not invited but we are invited to a party a few weeks after (to celebrate the wedding).

‘Ok, that’s fine, it’s up to the couple what they want for their wedding and who they want to invite. Even though they came to our wedding (all day and in the evening too) and we spent a lot on their food, that’s OK, people don’t have to reciprocate. We were just happy that everyone came to our wedding to enjoy the day with us.

‘But now we have been asked to eat before we go because they don’t want to cater for us (as we are vegan). There are others who have allergies and dietary requirements and they have not been asked to eat before the party.

‘Am I being unreasonable to be a little upset by that? Or is that silly and I shouldn’t expect to eat at the buffet like the rest of the guests?

‘And how much money would you give as a gift? I know that the gift is supposed to be enough to cover the cost of your meal at least but since we won’t be eating, how much should we give? (I don’t want to fall out with them at all as they’re usually really nice but just seem to be treating us oddly in this situation). I definitely don’t want to cause a fuss as it’s their wedding day and I want them to be happy.’

Despite the woman being willing to attend the party, many responses to the thread blasted the invitation.

One person wrote: ‘You can’t make them cater for you no more than they can demand your presence. It’s an invitation not a summons. It doesn’t sound like they like you much, let alone wanting you there. Which should make declining their invitation easy. 

A flood of responses to the thread advised the vegan woman not to attend her family member’s party or give a gift 

Another said: ‘As they came to your wedding, you fed and entertained them, it is particularly pointed and nasty that they are not reciprocating. Don’t go and don’t send a present. They don’t deserve one.’ 

A third added: ‘Don’t go if they can’t be a***** to put on salads etc. I find it outrageous that they’ve told you to eat before you go!’ 

However, others argued the woman should attend the party but bring her own food and give a petty gift.

‘I understand all the people saying to decline, but I’m just twisted enough to take my own food in plastic containers and a giant cool box then sit and make a point of opening them noisily when the buffet starts. Plus the idea of giving them a vegan cookbook as a present is genius,’ one person said.

Another wrote: ‘I’d be really f***** petty and say no problem then bring a gourmet packed lunch to open when I’m there. Wait for people to start cooing over how amazing it looks and ask of they missed it at the buffet table and then casually drop in that the couple weren’t able to cater for vegan food, so you brought your own… 

‘And gift wise I wouldn’t bother as it’s an after party not a wedding.’ 

Some responses advised the woman to bring her own food to the party and give a small, petty wedding present 

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