From the well-organised Pig to the playful Monkey, experts believe your Chinese zodiac sign can influence your personality.
Unlike Western astrology, each sign of the Chinese zodiac ‘rules’ over an entire year, bringing with it particular energy to everything that occurs over the next 12 months.
The 12 animals – the rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat, monkey, rooster, dog, pig – have a chance to ‘rule’ every 12 years, bringing with it particular fortune for those born under that sign.
Unlike Western astrology, each sign of the Chinese zodiac ‘rules’ over an entire year, bringing with it particular energy to everything that occurs over the next 12 months
In their book The Chinese Zodiac: A Seriously Silly Guide, Anita Mangan and Sarah Ford delve into the personality traits of each star sign, offering insights as to how these affect romantic connections and workplace ambitions.
Here, in an extract shared exclusively with FEMAIL, the authors explain how specific qualities can vary based on the element (water, fire, earth and air) attached to a given birth year.
But be warned, as the title suggests, it’s seriously silly and offers a mixture of tongue-in-cheek advice and animal metaphors.
Not sure which year you fall into? Don’t worry, they break down everything you need to know…
What is YOUR Chinese zodiac sign?
Unlike Western astrology, each sign of the Chinese zodiac lasts for a whole year and each year takes the name of an animal whose characteristics colour and influence everything that happens for the next 12 months.
It is worth remembering that unlike the Roman calendar new year, the lunar new year changes, although it usually falls between January 21 and February 20.
This means that those born in the early part of the calendar year are actually assigned the Chinese zodiac of the previous year.
The Ox: 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009, 2021
The Tiger: 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010
The Rabbit: 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011
The Dragon: 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012
The Snake: 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013
The Horse: 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014
The Sheep: 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015
The Monkey: 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016
The Rooster: 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017
The Dog: 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018
The Pig: 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019
The Rat: 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008, 2020
Are you a ruthless metal rat, or a fire rat who gets a bit feisty? It all depends on your birthday
Which rat are you?
24 JAN 1936 – 10 FEB 1937 …………………. FIRE RAT
10 FEB 1948 – 28 JAN 1949 …………….. EARTH RAT
28 JAN 1960 – 14 FEB 1961 ………………METAL RAT
15 FEB 1972 – 2 FEB 1973 ………………..WATER RAT
2 FEB 1984 – 19 FEB 1985…………………WOOD RAT
19 FEB 1996 – 6 FEB 1997…………………… FIRE RAT
7 FEB 2008 – 25 JAN 2009…………….. EARTH RAT
25 JAN 2020 – 11 FEB 2021 ………………METAL RAT
WOOD RAT… SERENE
Everyone likes you, you are calm, generous and peaceloving, a-twitch with good humour. You work hard to provide a secure home with nice carpets throughout and to have nice long-haul holidays. You are super-competitive but believe success has to be earned and not just grabbed, like some of those other dirty rats might do.
FIRE RAT… BIT FISTY
You are the Indiana Jones of the rat world, with a lust for life and an unquenchable thirst for adventure. Your warrior-like spirit is always looking for a cause to fight, you are definitely more of a fighter than a lover. That said, you are the most generous of all of the rats, regularly donating to the food bank and giving up your seat for pregnant ladies (fingers crossed they’re not just fat). Not one to be tied down, you are intrepid in your search for the best curry house in town, always your takeaway of choice.
EARTH RAT… SORTED
You like everything in your life to be orderly; a great day is one spent trying to locate the bottom of the laundry basket. You set yourself realistic goals and buy everyone a Christmas present by the end of November…and what a gift-giver you are, always generous and thoughtful. Be careful not to be too focused on what others think, two Instagram likes are better than none. Your love of all things sweet can lead to big dentist bills.
METAL RAT… THE RUTHLESS
You are no coachman, you are Prince or Princess Charming, the most delightful of all the rats and very sociable too, but underneath that charm you are as hard as nails. Ruthless when it comes to getting what you want, you are like a hot cross rat and outspoken to those who don’t meet your exacting standards (they probably had it coming). You keep a lovely home, straight from the pages of a glossy magazine and have a strict ‘shoes off at the door’ policy. That said, you are the first to welcome in your family and friends.
WATER RAT… BIT OF A WUSS
As a Water Ratty you prefer to go with the flow down stream than swim against the tide, you are always calm in the face of adversity but can be a scaredy rat at times. You more than make up for this by being kind and you care deeply about tradition…though ‘Bash the Rat’ isn’t one of your favourites…you have a deep-set fear of the summer fête season. That doesn’t mean that you are unsociable, far from it you love being with people.
The ox is responsible, practical and don’t suffer fools gladly – so don’t get in their way!
Which ox are you?
11 FEB 1937 – 30 JAN 1938………………………. FIRE OX
29 JAN 1949 – 16 FEB 1950 ………………….EARTH OX
15 FEB 1961 – 4 FEB 1962 …………………….. METAL OX
3 FEB 1973 – 22 JAN 1974 …………………… WATER OX
20 FEB 1985 – 8 FEB 1986…………………… WOOD OX
7 FEB 1997 – 27 JAN 1998 ……………………….. FIRE OX
26 JAN 2009 – 13 FEB 2010…………………EARTH OX
12 FEB 2021 – 31 JAN 2022………………….. METAL OX
WOOD OX… HARD
You’re a leader, you’re a leader! You are smart and responsible with a sense of duty to King and country. Not one to show your emotions, if something upsets you then you will cry on the inside like a grown up…though if pushed too hard you can fly into a rage and have been known to kick over the odd potted plant.
FIRE OX… HEADSTRONG
You were not born yesterday and you do not suffer fools. If needed, you will go headlong into battle for what you think is right and any barriers will just be drop-kicked out of the way. You are quite materialistic and count all your money on Mondays. You don’t like many people but are quite fond of your family, when they are on their best behaviour.
You are a responsible person. Why waste money on designer labels when you can look pretty cool and stay warm in a secondhand cashmere from your local charity shop? You are also kind and fair; you always make sure that everyone gets the same number of peas on their plate. Your attention to detail is second to none and your slow and steady attitude may well win you the race.
METAL OX…READY TO RUMBLE
You are so active and busy that you often forget to eat and sleep…it’s just rave repeat for you! You are better at spending than saving…you live for the day. Old age and rainy days can wait. You love a party and make the best Mojito in town, but be careful not to drink too many as you are known for dishing out home truths.
You are Peter/Petra Practical, you can turn your hand to most things, but won’t waste your time on trifles. You can be a bit of a grump but still gain the respect of those who really know you for your kind heart and ability to fart on demand. All you really want from life is a comfy armchair and the respect of your family and friends.
Earth tigers are easily bored, while metal tigers enjoy living the high life. Which one are you?
Which tiger are you?
31 JAN 1938 – 18 FEB 1939 ……………. EARTH TIGER
17 FEB 1950 – 5 FEB 1951……………….METAL TIGER
5 FEB 1962 – 24 JAN 1963……………..WATER TIGER
23 JAN 1974 – 10 FEB 1975……………..WOOD TIGER
9 FEB 1986 – 28 JAN 1987………………….FIRE TIGER
28 JAN 1998 – 15 FEB 1999…………… EARTH TIGER
14 FEB 2010 – 2 FEB 2011 ………………METAL TIGER
1 FEB 2022 – 21 JAN 2023 …………….WATER TIGER
WOOD TIGER…A LAUGH A MINUTE
Of all the tigers you will be the one who has the most ‘likes’, you are friendly and good-natured, if a little needy. You always acknowledge others when on your morning constitution, but they need to watch out as the next minute you are likely to pounce out on them from behind a tree, always the joker. You are Tigger-like with your bouncy lust for life, but are also easily distracted and want instant results, so a thousand piece jigsaw is not for you.
FIRE TIGER…THE FIRST ON THE DANCE FLOOR
You are eccentric and intelligent, a natural born leader…the one most likely to take charge of the kitty on a pub crawl. You are a great conversationalist, so are always on the guest list for functions and often the centre of attention. Be careful not to let this go to your head as, whilst you’re good at getting yourself out of tight spots, a big head can be problematic, especially when buying a hat.
EARTH TIGER…EASILY BORED
You are the ultimate high achiever, always the teacher’s pet. Your active mind and tender heart are a winning combination, but you can become restless and often don’t do your share of household chores. You think you are clever, but everyone knows that you hide in the toilet (you are just too important to deal with such mundane stuff).
METAL TIGER…LIVING THE HIGH LIFE
Ultimate power is your main focus in all aspects of your life and your willpower is legendary – they won’t catch you with your paw in the biscuit barrel. You have your sights set much further and will fight for your right to party. Your cup is most definitely full, in fact it brims over with positivity and Champagne, as you have a taste for the finer things in life.
WATER TIGER…FIRST OFF THE BLOCKS
You were the first of all your friends to pass your driving test. Cautious, calm and a quick learner, you are destined to be behind the wheel. You never complain but you also don’t compromise. Your good judgment, work ethic, energy and nice socks mean that you are always picked first for the hockey team.
Rabbits are generally hard-working, successful and good tempered, the authors explain
Which rabbit are you?
19 FEB 1939 – 7 FEB 1940……… EARTH RABBIT
6 FEB 1951 – 26 JAN 1952……… METAL RABBIT
25 JAN 1963 – 12 FEB 1964…… WATER RABBIT
11 FEB 1975 – 30 JAN 1976…….. WOOD RABBIT
29 JAN 1987 – 16 FEB 1988………..FIRE RABBIT
16 FEB 1999 – 4 FEB 2000 ……. EARTH RABBIT
3 FEB 2011 – 22 JAN 2012 …….. METAL RABBIT
22 JAN 2023 – 9 FEB 2024…… WATER RABBIT
You’re a relaxed little jumper. Generous, cosy, warm and peace-loving; Hygge is your middle name. You love scrambling around among the trees with your mates getting muddy, or planting carrots at your local community garden project. Though you are a clever bunny and extremely resourceful (you can always pull a rabbit out of a hat when needed), you can also be a stubborn little blighter and have a habit of saying the wrong thing.
FIRE RABBIT…HOT STUFF
Full of passion, you are one hot bunny. Bold and bouncy, you seek adventure beyond the burrow. The best communicator of all the bunnies, you are a good choice for best man/chief bridesmaid, as your emotional speeches are famed throughout the land, despite the bad jokes. You are trustworthy, would never nick anyone else’s carrots or partner and you prefer conspiracy to confrontation, so can be ninja-like when it comes to delivering chocolate eggs.
EARTH RABBIT…DIGS DEEP
Otherwise known as the clever clogs bunny, you are quiet and wise…busy lining your own burrow and buying lovely things such as posh paw wash and vintage rugs. The most materialistic of all the rabbits, you are hard-working and very good at balancing the books. You can be a little cynical, but when it comes to good advice, you are the go-to bunny.
METAL RABBIT…HARD AS NAILS
Passionate, decisive and sometimes a bit of a brute, you are the iron man/ woman of the rabbit world…others need not apply or indeed mess with you. No one puts Metal Bunny in the corner, as you will come out fighting. A bit of an enigma, you can often be found working under cover of darkness, with cunning that will earn you much respect from fellow rabbits and ultimately ensure a life of Riley.
WATER RABBIT…EAU DE BUNNY
You are a smelly bunny with an aversion to showering, but you do love shooting other bunnies with your water pistol. Despite this, you are really compassionate and the most likeable of all the bunnies, always there with a helping paw and ready to share a carrot. You have a natural aptitude for drama and can often be found in an audition queue for the next big reality TV show. You tend to dwell on the past, just let go of the fact that Earth Bunny collapsed your burrow way back in 1996 whilst jumping around to hip hop tunes and try not to enter into conflict.
Dragons might conjure image of someone hot and fiery but they can be calm and peace-loving
Which dragon are you?
8 FEB 1940 – 26 JAN 1941 ………..METAL DRAGON
27 JAN 1952 – 13 FEB 1953 ……… WATER DRAGON
13 FEB 1964 – 1 FEB 1965 …………WOOD DRAGON
31 JAN 1976 – 17 FEB 1977 ………….. FIRE DRAGON
17 FEB 1988 – 5 FEB 1989…………EARTH DRAGON
5 FEB 2000 – 23 JAN 2001 ………METAL DRAGON
23 JAN 2012 – 9 FEB 2013………. WATER DRAGON
10 FEB 2024 – 28 JAN 2025……..WOOD DRAGON
WOOD DRAGON…POWER TO THE PEOPLE
You are a true revolutionary who wants to change the world. Motivated, determined and intelligent, you are however not always to be trusted…when it comes to the last Malteser in the box, you tend to think that it has your name on it. You have a sixth sense when it comes to business and your generosity knows no bounds – always willing to share your used tissue or give a sweaty handshake at a moment’s notice.
FIRE DRAGON…HUFF AND PUFF
Your energy and initiative will take you a long way, but be careful not to wear yourself out working too hard, eight hours sleep a night will help sort out minor break-outs and baggy eyelids. You are guilty of not always thinking about the consequences of your actions (farting in the office is never acceptable) and watch out for those who want to steal your thunder and your favourite highlighter pens.
EARTH DRAGON…BIG SOFTY
Success is your middle name. You are heading straight to the top of the Christmas tree, the fairy can just move along. You are fierce, but also kind-hearted and always diplomatic about your granny’s cheesy quiche. You are unlikely to wear fancy dress as you can’t stand anyone laughing at you, but in the bedroom you are a superhero.
METAL DRAGON…HARD WORK
You are the most organized of the dragons – your stationery cupboard is legendary, all your pencils are colour-coded and you love a pack of Post-It notes. Some might consider you a bit obsessive (your love of all things Barbra Streisand) and your sharp tongue has lead to a life of loneliness. That said, you are honest and kind, so if you just learn to keep your trap shut, you might find love one day.
You are a bit of an introvert and like to be private, you have your best ideas in the confines of your own toilet. In fact, there is nothing you find more annoying than having to stand in line for a call of nature. You tend to be a bit of a people pleaser and should think of yourself; it’s fine to take the biggest slice sometimes. You are a peaceful dragon and you always have a white hanky in your back pocket to wave in case of emergencies.
Quick-thinking snakes like to stay relevant and have a ‘sixth sense’ for business
Which snake are you?
27 JAN 1941 – 14 FEB 1942 ……………. METAL SNAKE
14 FEB 1953 – 2 FEB 1954 ……………..WATER SNAKE
2 FEB 1965 – 20 JAN 1966 ……………. WOOD SNAKE
18 FEB 1977 – 6 FEB 1978…………………. FIRE SNAKE
6 FEB 1989 – 26 JAN 1990……………. EARTH SNAKE
24 JAN 2001 – 11 FEB 2002………….. METAL SNAKE
10 FEB 2013 – 30 JAN 2014…………..WATER SNAKE
29 JAN 2025 – 16 FEB 2026…………. WOOD SNAKE
People are drawn to you like bees are to honey. This is because you are knowledgeable, honest and witty. You are always willing to pitch in, whether it’s baking cakes for charity, or hosting the monthly book club. Your love of security and stability does mean that you have to check that all doors and windows are locked three times before you leave the house.
FIRE SNAKE…CAN’T SIT STILL
You are a great leader but always make yourself accessible to your minions, you always leave your office door open, so you don’t miss out on the tea round. You are mentally and physically active. Even when you are at your computer you rotate your ankles under your desk, so that you are fit and ready for your next big adventure.
You are so calm and collected and tune out so much that colleagues once thought you were dead. You lead your life conservatively – just a small scraping of butter on your toast and you never take sugar. You are the one most trusted to cash up and bank the day’s takings.
You are kind and generous, but will still always make sure that you get the biggest scoop and you will only share your crisps if they are cheese and onion flavour. You have incredible willpower so will never over-indulge and you always leave some food on your plate (hidden under your fork, so as not to offend). You are an elusive one and the least likely to divulge your salary.
You are the brightest snake in the den. You don’t have many friends but are always invited to the school quiz, as you have an encyclopedic knowledge of just about everything. Your natural curiosity means you have a tendency to curtain-twitch, but only for the greater good of the neighbourhood watch.
Horses range from the ‘full throttle’ metal element horses to laid back earth horses
Which horse are you?
15 FEB 1942 – 4 FEB 1943………….. WATER HORSE
3 FEB 1954 – 23 JAN 1955 ………….. WOOD HORSE
21 JAN 1966 – 8 FEB 1967 ……………….FIRE HORSE
7 FEB 1978 – 27 JAN 1979 …………… EARTH HORSE
27 JAN 1990 – 14 FEB 1991 …………. METAL HORSE
12 FEB 2002 – 31 JAN 2003 ………. WATER HORSE
31 JAN 2014 – 18 FEB 2015…………. WOOD HORSE
17 FEB 2026 – 5 FEB 2027 ……………..FIRE HORSE
You are the most stable of all the horses; strong as an ox, but with a light heart. You are progressive and imaginative, always with your head in a bit of tech. The only boss of you is you, so heaven help any soul that tells you what to do, as you’ll soon kick them into touch, from behind.
You live for the moment, you go skiing at least three times a year, in between city breaks and several trips to Ibiza. Adventure is your middle name, you are always champing at the bit. You are often outspoken but you don’t stand still long enough to see whether anyone has taken offence.
EARTH HORSE…THE GOOD LIFE
Everyone has already bolted before you are even off the blocks, but that has never held you back. Your logical brain, quiet resolve and happy disposition make for a good life, the only problem is that you can’t decide what socks to wear and that’s before you even begin to think about the bigger picture.
You are a ‘get things done’ type, no trotting about for you, its all ‘full throttle’ on your production line. You are a bit on the naughty side, a rule breaker with a massive stubborn streak, so anyone that wants to be with you will need to saddle up for the ride. Once you get the bit between your teeth and feel the wind in your hair, you will be off at 90 miles per hour.
You are the most flexible of the horses (pilates has done you the world of good). You are a real charmer and persuasive too, so make a great sales person. Your restless nature and itchy hooves mean that you are likely to climb to the top quickly, but this does mean that you are often thought to be a bit of a fickle Freddie/Freda.
Goats born in a ‘wood’ year are happy spending time alone, the authors reveal in the book
Which goat are you?
5 FEB 1943 – 24 JAN 1944 …………………..WATER GOAT
24 JAN 1955 – 11 FEB 1956 …………………..WOOD GOAT
9 FEB 1967 – 29 JAN 1968………………………..FIRE GOAT
28 JAN 1979 – 15 FEB 1980…………………. EARTH GOAT
15 FEB 1991 – 3 FEB 1992……………………..METAL GOAT
1 FEB 2003 – 21 JAN 2004 ………………….WATER GOAT
19 FEB 2015 – 7 FEB 2016…………………….WOOD GOAT
6 FEB 2027 – 25 JAN 2028………………………FIRE GOAT
WOOD GOAT…THE LONER
You like your own company best, but you are always polite and helpful. You can’t resist carrying bags for old ladies, even if it does make you late for work. You would make a great Human Rights Lawyer or a Social Worker, but be careful that the baddies don’t take advantage of your sweet nature.
FIRE GOAT…TELL US A STORY
Of all the goats you are most likely to stand your ground and not be trampled on. You are easy-going, but courageous. Everyone loves going to the pub with you, as you tell great stories and are the first to get a round in. You are also a loyal friend – their secret will be safe with you. You are well-liked and will do OK for yourself, as long as your expectations aren’t too high and you manage your stubborn streak.
EARTH GOAT…CAN NEVER TELL A LIE
You are known for your honesty but sometimes you are a bit too honest. If someone asks you if you like their new hairstyle, it’s best not to tell them exactly what you think. Be careful not to hold the door open for too long as people will keep filing through if you let them. Don’t go to Bingo – you’re not great with money and you are unlikely to win.
METAL GOAT…MADE THE LOCAL NEWS
You are a talented individual, likely to make a splash at the local drama group. You are at your best when you have a routine in place – bed by 10 p.m. and afternoon tea at 3 p.m.. Principled and disciplined, you will be well-respected but some people will find you a bit boring.
WATER GOAT…POOR BUT HAPPY
You are a very appealing goat. Your sensitive nature, creativity and loyalty make you quite a catch, but your tendancy to blow your paycheck the minute you get it, can hold you back. You are more likely to be a poor artist than a multi-millionaire, but (hairy) chin up, you’ll always have your mates.
Fire monkeys are true cheeky chappies… while water monkeys have a sense of mystery
Which monkey are you?
25 JAN 1944 – 12 FEB 1945……………. WOOD MONKEY
12 FEB 1956 – 30 JAN 1957……………….. FIRE MONKEY
30 JAN 1968 – 16 FEB 1969 …………… EARTH MONKEY
16 FEB 1980 – 4 FEB 1981 ……………… METAL MONKEY
4 FEB 1992 – 22 JAN 1993………………WATER MONKEY
22 JAN 2004 – 8 FEB 2005…………… WOOD MONKEY
8 FEB 2016 – 27 JAN 2017 ………………… FIRE MONKEY
26 JAN 2028 – 12 FEB 2029 ………….. EARTH MONKEY
WOOD MONKEY…HEAD IN THE CLOUDS
You are a born optimist, a warm-hearted dreamer, your idea of heaven is gently rocking to and fro in a hammock, in the jungle, with dappled sun on your face and a cocktail in your hand. You work hard to make this dream a reality. Everyone wants you on their team at quiz night, as you have a great memory for useless facts and always turn up on time with loads of snacks.
FIRE MONKEY…YOU THINK YOU’RE FUNNY
You are the cheekiest of all the monkeys; your bare-faced cheeks are often seen outside the pub at kicking-out time. You are eccentric and entertaining, so everyone wants to be your friend, until, lightening-fast, you nick their packed lunch and run off to eat it under a tree. You are restless and driven, you raise the bar, then you raise it further, then you enjoy swinging from it.
EARTH MONKEY…YOU THINK YOU’RE THE POLICE
You are always trying to get to the bottom of things, searching for the truth and for justice. You are principled and law-abiding, although sometimes you have been known to help yourself to a Foam Banana from the pic’n’mix. Ever resourceful and mostly dynamic (though often inert on the sofa on Sunday), you always make time for a friend in need. Your wise counsel and Victoria Sponge are infamous, but they will have to wait until after you have had your morning coffee, or else you will be grumpy.
METAL MONKEY…STOCKPILING FOR THE END OF THE WORLD
You are a closed book and not one to be crossed, else those pages will unleash almighty revenge…don’t mess with Metal Monkey! You are also funny and broadminded, with many a trick up your jumper, though you never perform for peanuts. You love making and spending money and have very good taste – it’s Champagne and cashmere for a classy monkey like you. Once you have made your mind up about something, there will be no budging you; you are like a monkey mountain.
WATER MONKEY… OF MYSTERY
Oooh you monkey of mystery, you keep it all under your bowler hat. You’re a wise monkey that sees and hears, but generally says no evil (still, the kettle’s always on for anyone who wants to call in for a brew and a natter). You stand out from the crowd with your love of a tartan trouser and a bow-tie, though heaven help anyone who laughs at you, as they will wound you deeply and risk the wrath of monkey.
Metal roosters are willing to trample on others, while earth roosters are understated
Which rooster are you?
13 FEB 1945 – 1 FEB 1946………….WOOD ROOSTER
31 JAN 1957 – 17 FEB 1958 ……………FIRE ROOSTER
17 FEB 1969 – 5 FEB 1970 …………EARTH ROOSTER
5 FEB 1981 – 24 JAN 1982 …………METAL ROOSTER
23 JAN 1993 – 9 FEB 1994………..WATER ROOSTER
9 FEB 2005 – 28 JAN 2006………WOOD ROOSTER
28 JAN 2017 – 15 FEB 2018 ………….FIRE ROOSTER
13 FEB 2029 – 2 FEB 2030 ……….EARTH ROOSTER
WOOD ROOSTER…SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER
You don’t need to be the centre of attention like some of the other showy birds, you are simply pleasant and down to earth. You seldom raise your head above the parapet or put up your hand, unless you really need to go to the toilet. Sometimes you can be irresponsible, but underneath all those feathers you are quietly caring and always ready to give a helping hand.
FIRE ROOSTER…LEADER OF THE PACK
You are the leader of the birds; great at planning and able to multi-task (you can talk on the phone whilst tweeting). Your easy-going style will often find you with your feet up on the desk – it’s how you have your best ideas. You are known for bad jokes that are only funny because of the way you tell them.
Forget the show of feathers, you are no gaudy, strutting bird. Instead, you are quietly engaging, although your sneezes can often be heard on the other side of town. You are honest and inquisitive, but your constant questioning and thirst for knowledge can be quite annoying at times. Though dynamic, you tend to be easily distracted, so can take some time to finish anything and the perfectionist in you means that you should charge by the hour and not for the job.
METAL ROOSTER…WINNER WINNER
You want to be top of the tree and will trample over others to claw your way up there. You have many minions who will happily stroke your ego on demand. You are best left to your own devices, as you will undoubtedly do the best job, your beady rooster eyes are always focused on the prize. But you’re not all bad, you are happy to chuck a coin in a charity box and there is nothing more important to you than family.
WATER ROOSTER…YOU STRUT
You are the smartest of our feathered friends. You look good and are always first off the block (there are no mites on you). You are nice-natured and gentle, but can be a bit of a show-off. Like a child or a magpie, you love collecting shiny things – can-pulls and sea glass – but that said, you can never remember where you put your keys.
Are you a ‘good dog, wood dog’ or a ‘rrrrrogue’ water dog? Read on to find out more
Which dog are you?
2 FEB 1946 – 21 JAN 1947………………………..FIRE DOG
18 FEB 1958 – 7 FEB 1959 ………………….. EARTH DOG
6 FEB 1970 – 26 JAN 1971 ……………………METAL DOG
25 JAN 1982 – 12 FEB 1983 …………………WATER DOG
10 FEB 1994 – 30 JAN 1995 …………………WOOD DOG
29 JAN 2006 – 17 FEB 2007……………………FIRE DOG
16 FEB 2018 – 4 FEB 2019 …………………. EARTH DOG
3 FEB 2030 – 22 JAN 2031 ………………….METAL DOG
WOOD DOG…GOOD DOG
You will always do what you say you will and will never leave a debt outstanding. You complete your paper round even in thick snow, as you can’t bear to think of old people not being able to do their crossword. You are a thoroughly decent type and don’t like any type of injustice, but you have been known to bare your teeth in the face of oppression. You’re not interested in material gain, but you are partial to furnishing your home with dusty trinkets.
FIRE DOG…LOVING AND GIVING
You are comfortable in your own skin, which is just as well as you don’t shower nearly enough. You are a gentle soul with a generous nature and would share your last mint with someone that you care about. Your impulsive nature and risk taking can mean that you lose everything you have worked on, just because you didn’t press save before heading off to graze the treat cupboard. If there is something precious around it is likely that you will knock it over and you are forever losing things (you still have your gloves on strings).
EARTH DOG…PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR
You are the most logical of the dogs. Whilst the others are dreaming, you are busy sniffing around to get to the bottom of things. You always know where to find the best bacon sandwich in town. You are opinionated, but also wise, so people will hear you out, except when you start talking about the rugby. Only you understand your sense of humour.
METAL DOG…THE INFLUENCER
You are intelligent but attention-seeking. You post what you had for breakfast, lunch and tea and every run you do, plus pictures of you baking cakes and loading the washing machine and then you wonder why no one picks up when you call. That said, you are loyal and talented…just stop barking about all the boring stuff. You always look and smell nice.
You are the type to give someone a box of chocolates and then eat them all. You are quick-tempered, but you get away with it as you are truly loving (a bit like child birth, all is quickly forgotten). Your restless nature means you need a walk twice a day. You buy clothes that are practical and comfortable, you won’t be gracing the catwalk any time soon.
Contrary to popular belief, pigs are generally clean, neat and well organised people
Which pig are you?
22 JAN 1947 – 9 FEB 1948……………………….FIRE PIG
8 FEB 1959 – 27 JAN 1960 …………………..EARTH PIG
27 JAN 1971 – 14 FEB 1972……………………METAL PIG
13 FEB 1983 – 1 FEB 1984……………………WATER PIG
31 JAN 1995 – 18 FEB 1996 ………………….WOOD PIG
18 FEB 2007 – 6 FEB 2008……………………..FIRE PIG
5 FEB 2019 – 24 JAN 2020………………….EARTH PIG
23 JAN 2031 – 10 FEB 2032…………………METAL PIG
WOOD PIG…OVERLY NICE
You’re like a pig in potato peelings when it’s karaoke night down at your local – anything to spread the love and make friends and family happy. You are the type to put your food on other people’s plates even when they don’t want to try it (your insistence can be annoying). That said, you have a kind heart and a good snout for detail –the perfect companion on an orienteering trip, just don’t be too pig-headed about which path to take.
FIRE PIG…SNOUT TO THE GROUND
You are the type to call a spade a spade; pretty handy when it comes to digging the garden. Undaunted by all that life can chuck at you, you are happiest when in a crowd at a concert or protest march (though you always make your point politely). You are always busy being busy and with hard work and ambition that is likely to pay off; you’ll be able to afford a week in Tenerife once a year.
EARTH PIG…THIS LITTLE PIGGY STAYS AT HOME
You are happiest snuggled on the sofa with the dog. This is all very well as long as you avoid the shopping channels, as you can’t resist the lure of a handy household item that can be paid for in instalments. But you are peaceful and lovable. So what if you don’t have any money, you have the dog to keep you warm and happy.
METAL PIG…THE IN-HOUSE ARTIST
You have a great sense of purpose and always put your best trotter forward, but you sometimes struggle with making decisions…should you have a Mint Choc Chip or Raspberry Ripple cone? The creative in you will mean that you’ll probably go for both and stick a flake and sauce on top. You can be a bit moody if someone takes a lick, and especially if they bite your flake.
WATER PIG…TOO LOVELY FOR WORDS
You are a piggy with an absolute heart of gold, you always look for the best in others, even if they have just nicked your wallet. You will just be upset that you can’t get the first round in, but still you will look on the bright side and enjoy the company of others without a drink; it’s not the end of the world.
Anita Mangan’s The Chinese Zodiac: A seriously silly guide (Portico Books), available on Mail Bookshop.