What our sex sounds really mean – and why they’re important

The orgasm – and the sounds that come with it – have been a hot topic of discussion long before Meg Ryan famously faked one in a New York deli nearly 30 years ago.

One doesn’t need to watch When Harry Met Sally to know that sex can be noisy – and that not all those noises are genuine. 

But what exactly do sex noises – and how much we make them – mean, and how important are they to getting down and dirty?

If you boil it down to basics, grunts – one of the sounds we most often associate with sex – are the body’s physiological response to exertion.

We release these noises when we need more oxygen, signaling the body to deliver it via our ‘laryngeal muscles’.

Sex noises have always been a hot topic in the bedroom. We actually during sex because we need more oxygen, and signal the body to deliver it via our ‘laryngeal muscles’ 

‘[This creates] a system under pressure that lengthens the expiration phase of the breath and enhances the oxygenation of the blood,’ researcher Lorraine McCune explained to TIME. 

‘Expiration against the constricted glottis produces pulses of sound.’

So plenty of grunts is a sure sign your body is working hard in the bedroom. But what about moans? 

James Higham, an anthropology professor at New York University, explains that humans shorten the words they use most frequently. 

Thus, one of the reasons why we resort to moaning during sex is simply because it’s quick, he revealed.

‘I don’t have to say, “Oh yeah, that’s the spot, right there, no wait, just slightly up”‘, he continued. 

‘I can just be quiet until they hit the spot and go “Mmmm” and there you go – they know.’ 

But moaning isn’t just for telling your partner what feels good. It’s also evolved into a way of showing them that they’re doing a good job as well.

Neuroscientist Barry Komisaruk, who wrote The Science of the Orgasm, explained that sex sounds started as small respiratory releases but have become a form of communication as well. 

‘The sound is a representation of the intensity of excitation,’ he said. 

‘If a partner gets excited hearing a shout during sex, then that can be a rewarding communication that bonds the partner and encourages them to do it again.’ 

But moaning isn't just for telling your partner what feels good. It's also evolved into a way of showing them that they're doing a good job as well

But moaning isn’t just for telling your partner what feels good. It’s also evolved into a way of showing them that they’re doing a good job as well

This ‘rewarding communication’ is also the reason why many women fake their orgasms in the first place.   

Gayle Brewer, a professor of psychology at the University of Central Lancashire, found in one study that there were two reasons why women faked sex sounds. 

One was because they wanted the romp to end. But the other was because they wanted to give their partner an extra dose of confidence. 

Brewer concluded that men who receive this encouragement are more likely to want to have sex with that partner again.

For those who are genuinely noisy in the bedroom and feeling insecure, don’t hold back. Trying to dial down your grunts or moans could actually hurt the experience – and your performance. 

McCune explained it with the example of tennis players, who are notorious for grunting when they hit the ball.

‘When you squash the grunt, you’re having to use energy that you could have used for your stroke to suppress a vocalization,’ she added. 

Additional research showed that professional players increase their ball’s velocity by 3.8 percent when they get their grunt on. 

But what if you don’t seem to make much noise at all?

Sex educator Barbara Carrellas revealed this is likely a sign you’re not breathing enough in the bedroom – which is essential for a genuine, Meg Ryan-style orgasm. 

‘Obviously no one has ever died from not making sex sounds, but they add so much to the erotic experience,’ she explained. 

‘All sex is about energy, and sound brings energy.’ 

Read more at DailyMail.co.uk