A relationship expert has revealed what your dating site image really tells potential partners, and why some women keep attracting the wrong sort of guy.
Australian matchmaker and relationship strategist Louanne Ward said you shouldn’t beat yourself up about being it a dating rut – rather, you should look to why you are matching with the wrong sort and seek to change it.
‘Most women have a pretty clear idea of the type of guy they are looking for, their search image criteria is a list of attributes they are looking for in a future mate,’ Louanne told FEMAIL.
When it comes to dating, many women are stuck in a rut with attracting the wrong sort of guy – matchmaker Louanne Ward (pictured) revealed how to deal with this
She said that many women prioritise being attracted to someone, having a spark and a connection – but these things don’t always last (stock image)
‘This list has a natural flow-on effect. If the guy ticks the first box, she will move to the next most important attribute and so on.
She continued: ‘The sad reality is just about every woman has the same first two or three most important aspects in their search image criteria.
‘The top of the list is always: 1) “I find him attractive and I have a spark, 2) “I’ve got to feel a connection”.
‘If these boxes are ticked, she is often whisked up in the thrill and the excitement and for a while she forgets about the more important factors until it’s too late.’
How can you avoid attracting the wrong sort of man?
* Firstly, look at your own image and what it says about you and the sort of person you want to date.
* Louanne highlighted a study by Tinder, which found that women place more importance on appearance than men. ‘Nearly 20 per cent of men preferred to swipe right on women wearing a formal outfit rather than a bikini or less clothing, whereas 53.3 per cent of women swipe right on the men with lovely bodies,’ Louanne said.
* Therefore, look at your photos and think about what they project online. If you’re holding a drink in a skimpy outfit, then people will think you are a good time girl.
* Similarly, if your written profile is filled with wants and demands for a future relationship, then you could be seen as high maintenance.
While you might think attraction, a spark and a connection are the most important things when dating someone new, Louanne said in fact this can be ‘superficial’ and can mask the true qualities that might mean you identify with someone.
‘When meeting a prospective partner, there is no mystery or seduction anymore – it’s a snap decision of “I must have it instantly”,’ Louanne said.
She said too many people have the attitude whereby they think they can tell within two minutes whether someone is right for them.
Louanne (pictured) said first and foremost you should ‘look at your own image and what it says about you and the men you are seeking to date’
‘If you meet such a person who gives you the instant buzz, then you become blind to the downsides, creating a false fantasy and unrealistic expectation,’ she said.
The dating expert explained it’s vital to realise the difference between love and infatuation when you start dating and act accordingly.
So how can you avoid attracting the wrong type of man, and put forward the right image on a first date?
Louanne said first and foremost you should ‘look at your own image and what it says about you and the men you are seeking to date’.
She highlighted a recent study released by Tinder in which it was found that women place more importance on physical appearance and buff bodies than their male counterparts.
‘Nearly 20 per cent of men preferred to swipe right on women wearing a formal outfit rather than a bikini or less clothing, whereas 53.3 per cent of women swipe right on the men with lovely bodies,’ Louanne said.
‘Some 80 per cent of the way we communicate is not verbal and on a dating site or app, it’s all non-verbal,’ Louanne (pictured) said
Once you’ve identified your image and what it says about you, next Louanne said you need to think about the way you use a dating app – and how it reflects you.
‘Some 80 per cent of the way we communicate is not verbal and on a dating site or app, it’s all non-verbal,’ she said.
Louanne said your photos on an app are half of the reason why you attract the wrong men.
For those seeking to avoid projecting the wrong image on an app, Louanne said look at your images, and tailor them accordingly:
‘If the image you project is in skimpy clothes that leave nothing to the imagination, the photos are all airbrushed and you are heavily made up with a drink in one hand, the sort of man you’ll attract is someone who is interested in a good fun girl who wants a physically-based connection,’ she said.
‘The same applies if your written profile is full of don’t wants and demands of the future relationship you want.’
For more information about Louanne Ward, who has over 25 years in the relationship and matchmaking industry, visit her website here.