Pale-skinned Aboriginal woman, 24, was so ashamed of her skin tone that she got addicted to wearing fake tan so people would believe she is indigenous
- Journalist Elliana Lawford is a Wiradjuri and Anaiwan woman from NSW
- But because she has pale skin, people struggled to believe she is Aboriginal
- She became addicted to fake tan in year 10 as it helped her look more indigenous
- Last year she was able to overcome her shame after
An Aboriginal woman with pale skin has admitted she got addicted to wearing fake tan because people would continuously mistake her for a white person.
Growing up, Elliana Lawford, a Wiradjuri and Anaiwan woman from NSW, was relentlessly questioned over how she could be indigenous with her fair complexion.
The journalist said peers would see her playing with Aboriginal children and ask her why a ‘white girl was hanging around all the black kids’, ABC News reported.
Over time, the incessant comments made the 24-year-old struggle with her identity and she grew increasingly unhappy about the colour of her skin.
Elliana Lawford (pictured), a Wiradjuri and Anaiwan woman from NSW, has always been mistaken as white
At the peak of her self-consciousness, in year 10, she received an Aboriginal scholarship and quickly sought skin-darkening products in fear of looking out-of-place when she accepted the award at a school assembly.
‘I had this thought:”How can I get up on stage as a black woman when I’m white?” And that’s when I discovered Tan-in-a-Can,’ she told ABC News.
‘But from then I actually became obsessed with fake tan, so much so that I actually wouldn’t leave the house without it — I wouldn’t go out with friends; I wouldn’t go to parties; I wouldn’t even go on dates unless I’d fake tanned.’
Ms Lawford said she began looking for permanent and started ordering tanning pills from America that made her vomit.
The 24-year-old grew disgusted with the colour of her skin as she was subjected to relentless doubt by others over her Aboriginal identity
She said, while the pills made her sick, looking tan made her feel comfortable and confident telling people about her Aboriginality.
Last year, Ms Lawford let go of her shame after an interaction with an Aboriginal woman in Darwin, where she had transferred for work.
After divulging to the woman that she too was Aboriginal, the woman told her that she felt sorry for people along the east coast, where Ms Lawford is from, because they had ‘lost so much’.
‘And for the first time in my life, I realised that it wasn’t my fault. And I didn’t have to carry around all this shame about not speaking my language every day and having such white skin,’ Ms Lawford said.
The Anaiwan are the traditional owners of the land around Armidale and the New England tableland of New South Wales.
The Wiradjuri People are the people of the three rivers – the Wambool (Macquarie), the Calare (Lachlan) and the Murrumbidgee.
Ms Lawford said she was able to let-go of her self disgust last year after meeting another Aboriginal woman with darker skin