We recently posed the question that plagues so many single women: where have all the good men gone? In response, offers of dates flooded in from men.
So for this week’s blind date we sent one of the women profiled in that article, Lucy Verner, on a date with Adam Bloomfield-Strawn, to Vinoteca in London.
Could he convince Lucy that there are men worth dating out there, after all?
Adam is an actor who lives in London and Lucy is the chief operating officer of a technology company, and lives in Kent.
LUCY, 47, SAYS:
Lucy Verner (pictured) is a 47-year-old chief operating officer from Kent
Adam was smartly dressed and very handsome, which impressed me as soon as I saw him. But I soon realised that our lives are quite different.
My routine revolves around my two young children and un-noteworthy office work. Listening to Adam, his life — giving up his job to become an actor a few years ago — sounded far more exotic and interesting!
I think he’s brave, although I do think it’s easier for a single man to do that sort of thing. He is a lovely guy, but he’s very focused on his own life at the moment and I could tell he wasn’t interested in me.
He sounds so busy with his varied work and his kids, I actually don’t know how he fits in time to go on dates.
We still got on well and had a fun evening. The restaurant was wonderful and bustling. I did a time check at 10pm when we had finished our meal, but we decided to have another bottle of wine and before I knew it the restaurant was empty and the chairs were on the tables.
I had missed my last train. After trying to sort out a taxi, I eventually had to ask a friend to come and get me. I didn’t get home until 3am, making it the longest date ever. Adam had asked me to text him that I got home OK, which I did, but there’s been nothing since.
Despite having a fun evening, there just wasn’t a connection, which is disappointing. He is very interesting company but there was no spark or any really funny banter.
I’ve been single for 15 months since my last relationship ended, after splitting from my husband seven years ago.
I don’t mind going on dates but don’t actively go searching, but I was happy to be there. I like meeting people and doing new things, so I was excited.
He’s very handsome – but just too focused on his own life
Overall it was definitely a positive experience, and I’d rather go on a blind date than do the internet thing.
I have no real dating activity at the moment, but with both children in senior school and being able to work from home, it has freed me up a lot. I’m more up for dating now and feel I’m in a much better place to do so. Sadly, though, just not with Adam.
LIKES: Interesting and he’s a lovely man.
CAB/ COFFEE: Coffee.
ADAM, 44, SAYS:
Adam Bloomfield-Strawn (pictured) is a 44-year-old actor from London
When Lucy arrived I thought she was an attractive woman who took care of her appearance, with a fine figure. I could tell she had made an effort.
From the word go it wasn’t awkward, as she was very confident, intelligent and chatty, and we had a lot in common. Lucy is obviously well-educated and well-informed, which I really liked, as a big thing for me is being able to have a proper conversation. There was nothing she said that made me think: ‘I don’t like that.’ I actually don’t know why she is single.
We spoke about marriage and the break-down of our past relationships, but it was all quite positive. I’m on very good terms with my ex — we split because we just wanted different things.
It would have been very easy for Lucy to slag off her husband, but there was no malice or bitterness. We got on really well with a mixture of serious and not-so-serious chats. We had a bit of a giggle, then, occasionally, we’d get on to a deep subject.
For example, we talked about how a couple of years ago I decided to ‘reset’ my life and follow my dreams. My wife and I had drifted apart and divorced after 18 years together, although we are still great friends. I moved to London to be an actor, which has been tough but amazing.
It was so nice when I mentioned to Lucy how I had given up a lot to be a poor actor and she wasn’t bothered or judgmental. Often when I tell a woman that, her reaction is one of shock.
I don’t believe success is defined by your job but by being yourself and feeling happy. I’ve been single for two years and haven’t dated much because of focusing on acting and my kids.
Now I’m ready to meet someone and, although I’m attracted to women with Mediterranean looks, I mostly like a great smile with a personality that matches.
We’re looking for different things. There was no chemistry
I know what I want and where I’m going and Lucy’s attitude to that was very refreshing. She is independent and was supportive. I felt that if she had wanted to date me, my life choices wouldn’t have been an issue.
In general, I think dating is hard at this age, because some of the women I meet naturally want to have their own children, while other times we both have baggage and other commitments.
Most of all, I want to meet someone with passion who knows what they’re doing in life.
I haven’t done online dating because I think it’s easier to find groups who share similar interests and meet people that way.
But perhaps Lucy and I are looking for different things. There was no chemistry between us.
DATING TOP TIPS
- Figure out how you best communicate. Is it face-to-face or online?
- Sometimes it’s easier to meet like-minded people, so making your life as active as possible will open up your exposure to potential partners.
- Keep an open mind and look for as many opportunities as you can to try new things and meet different people.
Lucy missed her last train because we were talking so much and we had to wait for a friend to collect her. I gave her my number so she could text me that she had got home. But we haven’t contacted each other since.
Still, it was a positive experience for me going on a blind date. I really enjoyed the concept of meeting someone you know nothing about and spending the evening talking.
If Lucy called and asked me out I would go, although I think we both know it’s not romantic. Not for me, but a wonderful woman.
LIKES: Her openness and her compassion.