Woman accuses neighbours of being ‘mean’ for loud sex complaints

A mother has shared her embarrassment after she received a noise complaint from her neighbours while she was having sex with her partner in the middle of the night. 

Writing anonymously on Mumsnet, she explained she and her partner didn’t believe they were making enough noise to wake up the neighbours.

She went on to accuse the people next door of being ‘mean’ for banging on the wall at 3am and complaining.

Writing on the forum under the username motherofjiggly, she explained: ‘I assumed couple next door would have been fast asleep and didn’t realise they’d have been able to hear me until we got a very loud knock on the wall and a shouted “trying to sleep here!”

‘I’m feeling so embarrassed. From the knocking, they were literally right there practically in the room with us really and I can’t imagine having sex at DP’s house again as I’ll be so self-conscious.

‘I do use a pillow to muffle my sounds at times and the bed isn’t excessively squeaky either but from the proximity of the voice we’re literally lying right next to them with a wall in between.

A British woman took to Mumsnet to ask for advice after her neighbours heard them having sex at 3am and knocked on the wall to tell them to keep it down (file image)

The woman outlined that she and her partner believed their neighbours were asleep at 3am and tried to keep noise minimal and she is now avoiding having sex in the house

The woman outlined that she and her partner believed their neighbours were asleep at 3am and tried to keep noise minimal and she is now avoiding having sex in the house

‘AIBU to completely avoid them from here on out? And was I being horribly inconsiderate to be making sex noise at 3 am?

‘I feel it was a bit mean to knock and loudly complain like that tbh but I acknowledge it must have been annoying. We’re planning to move the bed to the other side of the room and put a clothing rail along that side to further muffle things.’

The woman received a flood of responses from Mumsnet users who accused her of being unreasonable to not expect the neighbours to complain.

One person said: ‘Yabu to make ANY noise at 3am! I’d have blood knocked too! Putting the radio on at that time out of order too. 

‘Yes we all have to tolerate a certain amount of noise during normal times of activity but I think 3am radio, chatting AND sex noise is taking the **** frankly. Do as you’re planning to reduce the impact of noise on his neighbour and be more considerate re time.’

Another wrote: ‘You are being OTT. It’s not mean at all. Like PP (people) have said he’s probably heard it before but 3am just sent him over the edge. Far creepier for him to just sit there and listen to you.’

Many Mumsnet users slammed the woman for describing the neighbours as 'mean' and expecting them to not complain about the noise 

Many Mumsnet users slammed the woman for describing the neighbours as ‘mean’ and expecting them to not complain about the noise 

Some Mumsnet users attempted to give the woman practical solutions for how to move forward and avoid the situation happening again.

A user speaking under the handle ‘SleepingStandingUp’ advised the woman to act as if the situation hadn’t happened and also to move the bed away from the wall.

She wrote: ‘Just pretend it didn’t happen next time you see him, it’ll be less awkward for you all. I’d also move the bed just so I didn’t think about the neighbour lying parallel to you. It’s fine, he was odd to comment imo (in my opinion).’

Another said: ‘I feel for you, I would be embarrassed too! I don’t think you’re unreasonable to have sex at 3am but I also don’t think its unreasonable for your neighbour to expect (and ask for) quiet at 3am. 

‘Moving the bed and adding the clothing rail are both good ideas. As this isn’t a regular thing I wouldn’t feel too worried about it.

‘Just pretend it never happened when you see the neighbours – everyone will feel happier that way! You haven’t behaved badly and shouldn’t be ashamed. It’s just one of the unfortunate aspects of terraced houses that you’re often closer to others than you would prefer to be!’ 

Some Mumsnet users attempted to offer practical solutions for keeping the noise down in the future including moving the bed and getting the wall sound-proofed

Some Mumsnet users attempted to offer practical solutions for keeping the noise down in the future including moving the bed and getting the wall sound-proofed

Others slammed the neighbours and claimed they needed to ‘get a grip’.

One person said: ‘If you can afford to live in a detached property in the middle of nowhere and avoid noise, off you pop. If you can’t and must live cheek by jowl with others, suck it up. Tell them to get a grip and brazen it out.

Another wrote: ‘Some people are utter *********. If I heard my neighbours occasionally having quiet sex, I would ignore it or put earplugs in, because I’m not a bitter old ****** that gets off on humiliating my neighbours. Not like you were having screaming sex parties.’

Others argued the neighbours need to 'get a grip' and ignore the noise if they're only hearing it occasionally 

Others argued the neighbours need to ‘get a grip’ and ignore the noise if they’re only hearing it occasionally 

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