A woman who had her heart broken when her lover came out as gay has turned her pain into a feature-length documentary about others in the same position.
Monica Davidson is quite open about her heartache over falling in love with a gay man – and she is now determined to chronicle the plight of other straight women who have wandered down the same glitter-covered rabbit hole.
In fact, the 46-year-old from Sydney is almost ready to debut her own film about it which is over a decade in the making.
‘The funny thing about women falling in love with gay men, is that the woman has always been painted as a bit of an idiot,’ Monica told FEMAIL.
Monica Davidson (pictured) is quite open about her heartache over falling in love with a gay man – and she is now determined to chronicle the plight of other straight women who have wandered down the same glitter-covered rabbit hole.
The now 46-year-old (pictured when she was younger) says she had her heart broken into a million pieces at the age of 20
‘People ask: “How could she not have have known?” and women have really tortured themselves over that.’
Crestfallen when her in-the-closet boyfriend dumped her as an impressionable 20-year-old, the mother-of-three says ladies in the same boat are often the subject of ridicule, rather than pity.
‘Because he wasn’t out publicly I then had to say he didn’t love me, but it wasn’t true, he just didn’t love me in that way,’ Monica explained.
‘I bore the brunt of that and I carried it on my 20-year-old shoulders.’
She describes herself as a fierce advocate for gay equality in Australia but is hell-bent on sharing the unsung story of the straight women who are the gays’ ‘staunchest allies’.
Monica has spent the past 12 years funding and creating a documentary called ‘Handbag’ which she says celebrates and shines a light on the straight, female support network for the LGBTQ community.
Monica (pictured with her daughters) describes herself as a fierce advocate for gay equality in Australia but is hell-bent on sharing the unsung story of the straight women who are the gay’s ‘staunchest allies’
Monica (pictured with her Mardi Gras float) has spent the past 12 years funding and creating a documentary called ‘Handbag’ which she says celebrates and shines a light on the straight, female support network for the LGBTQ community.
The mother-of-three (pictured) has spent the past 12 years funding and creating a documentary called ‘Handbag’
‘The main reason I wanted to make the documentary was because I’ve been surrounded by women – me included – who have so unwavering in their support of male gay friends,’ she said.
‘Everyone gets to have their shiny moment in the sun – so I thought, hang on, where’s our time?’
The amateur filmmaker says her own grandmother acted as a ‘beard’, which meant she pretended to be a male friend’s girlfriend when being gay was a crime, and her mother was a volunteer during the AIDS epidemic of the 1990s.
While she is now happily married with three daughters, Monica explains her early heartache over a gay man was the catalyst for a lifetime of friendships with gay men.
The confusing rejection of a former lover coming out as gay is something Monica describes as happening to ‘more women than we know’ in Australia.
‘The main reason I wanted to make the documentary was because I’ve been surrounded by women – me included – who have so unwavering in their support of male gay friends,’ Monica explained (Pictured with her friends)
While she is now happily married with three daughters, Monica explains her early heartache over a gay man was the catalyst for a lifetime of friendships with gay men
The confusing rejection of a former lover coming out as gay is something Monica describes as happening to ‘more women than we know’ in Australia
‘In this narrative women are relegated to being the stupid girl falling in love with someone she shouldn’t have,’ she said.
‘What is remarkable about these women’s stories, is they dont turn that heartbreak into homophobia, they turn it into support. It is telling of conditional love.
‘We are sharing an important message but sharing it with sparkles and rainbows.’
Monica says that – while the documentary has been years in the making – it is now particularly topical in light of Australia’s gay marriage debate.
She hopes the crowd-funded film will also encourage women to continue being strong supporters of the homosexual community even when the fight for marriage equality is over.
The amateur filmmaker says her own grandmother acted as a ‘beard’, which meant she pretended to be a male friend’s girlfriend when being gay was a crime, and her mother (pictured) was a volunteer during the AIDS epidemic of the 1990s
Monica says that – while the documentary has been years in the making – it is now particularly topical in light of Australia’s gay marriage debate (Still from Handbag pictured)
Monica and fellow producers of Handbag the Movie are optimistic filming will be finished by 2018 and that it will have both theatrical and online releases
‘It’s easy to believe tat because for the majority the fight is over, we were worried that the f*g hag is going to vanish. Is she going to from the tragic figure of fun to a state of invisibility?’ Monica said.
‘She’s played an important role in the last 80 years of gay history. She doesn’t have to fight so hard anymore, but it’s not over yet – there are over 70 countries where being gay is still a crime.’
Monica and fellow producers of Handbag the Movie are optimistic filming will be finished by 2018 and that it will have both theatrical and online releases.
Her grassroots production includes interviews with gay men who have broken the hearts of straight women.