Woman says she started to believe jealousy was love while in abusive relationship

A woman has revealed how she didn’t recognise she was in an abusive relationship as a teenager because she thorugh she was ‘too young’.

Jordan Sheridan, from Wexford, said as a teenager she dated a man who would control every area of her life including her appearance and friendships.

Posting on Instagram, she explained that one of her teenage boyfriends would force her to have sex when he wanted and left her in constant terror that she would be alone if they broke up.

Many commenters praised Jordan for sharing her experience in a post that’s racked up more than 37,000 views, saying it will help other women.  

Jordan Sheridan, (pictured) who lives in Ireland, has gone viral on Instagram after revealing her experience of being in an abusive relationship as a teenager

Jordan explained that she wanted to make the video to raise awareness for the charity Women’s Aid, which she believes could have helped her if she had known about it while going through the abuse.

She shared her traumatic experience, saying: ‘When I got into the relationship I was at a very low point in my life and very depressed. I was self harming a lot. 

‘When I got into this relationship, it was the first person that had shown me love and I kind of leapt for it. I started to believe that it was a really hard job to love me.

‘I was told that he was the only person that was going to love me because I had so many issues. 

‘I started to believe that I was really disrespectful if I left the house without a bra on. I was told that I couldn’t leave the house in revealing clothing. I couldn’t post on Instagram that was too revealing.  

Jordan said her ex-boyfriend needed to know who she was with and where at all times, even after they broke up 

‘I started to believe that jealousy is love and if there was any form of jealousy shown it was just because he loved me. He needed to know where I was and who I was with and if I was safe all the time.

‘Even if we weren’t together, there was a point where he had broken up with me but still needed to know where I was. He actually made my mum think I was missing at one point because I wasn’t answering his texts – because my phone had died.

‘I was told that I could no longer speak to males, when I started going out with him.

‘My best friend at the time was a male and I wasn’t allowed to talk to him anymore because I was told “boys don’t want to just be friends”, which I believed for a very long time. 

‘I wasn’t allowed to be around his friends because of that. He couldn’t trust boys, he said. 

Jordan said her then boyfriend chose her friends and made her feel unable to say no to having sex with him 

‘He told me who I could and couldn’t be friends with, picked out friends of mine that he liked and friends that he didn’t like. I was told that I was instantly gay when I got my nose pierced and that I’ll never look beautiful in a wedding dress after I got my first tattoo.’

Jordan became emotional as she recounted feeling unable to say no to having sex with her then boyfriend.  

She said: ‘I started to believe that if he wanted to have sex we had to have sex. There was no way around it. 

‘I was made to believe that I was completely broken from the minute we met until the minute we broke up, it took everything in me to end the relationship.

‘When I ended it the thoughts I had about myself and about the world didn’t just go away, they were very ingrained in me.

‘I thought I was too young to be in an abusive relationship. I thought these things don’t happen to people in their teens, which they clearly do.  

Jordan, who went to counselling after the relationship ended, said she spent years terrified about breaking up with her ex 

‘I was walking on egg shells, terrified that I would do something to make him give me the silent treatment or to make him break up with me, which happened many times.

‘My whole world shattered because I felt like I had no one else in the world other than him, that was the belief he gave me. 

‘I went to counselling after it. The thoughts that I had about myself and about the world were very much shut down and I was told these things ‘aren’t true.

”You can be friends with guys when you’re in a relationship. What you wear has nothing to do with the person you’re with at any time on your relationship.’

‘I just thought this was because this person loved me which they didn’t, they had control over me and enjoyed the control they had.  

Jordan believes her life would’ve been different and she would’ve ended the abusive relationship earlier, if she had known about Women’s Aid

‘I wanted to do this video because I think if I had known what Women’s Aid was when I was in this relationship, I feel like my life would be very different now and I probably would’ve got out of that relationship much earlier.’

Jordan’s video racked up almost 40,000 views as commenters reassured her that it was ‘brave’ to share her experience.

One person wrote: ‘Well done Jordie for being so brave & strong. I too was in an abusive relationship when I was 21. Took me years to let proper love in but I grew stronger within and gave me courage. I hope that you are healing & gaining strength everyday.’

‘You are an inspiration to all of the others who struggle to speak out about difficult & important matters, you’re a superstar Jodie,’ another said.  

A stream of commenters praised Jordan for speaking out about her experience of being in an abusive relationship 

‘You are an inspiration to all of the others who struggle to speak out about difficult & important matters, you’re a superstar Jodie,’ another said. 

A third commented: ‘Thank you. So eloquently said! I can relate to all of this. Many years on I’m still dealing with trauma & working on it everyday. Wish I’d known that it was abuse earlier. Grateful that I know now. Mad love to you #warrior’ 

A fourth added: ‘I want to wrap my arms around your shoulders and give you a massive hug! Well done! If this helps one person, you’ve changed their life. And I have no doubt it will help many more than that.’ 

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