A heartbroken woman who has been pregnant 11 times and suffered three stillbirths, six miscarriages and lost a set of twins has revealed why she remains desperate for a baby.
Bereaved mother Samantha Rowe, 40, and husband Paul Lyons, 43, suffered through almost a dozen infant deaths over the past five years, with each one of their children tragically perishing.
Their nightmare started in 2013 after Ms Rowe became pregnant with their first child, Cooper, who was born at 21 weeks – too early to survive outside the womb.
Their second child, Hudson, was stillborn at 19 weeks, followed by twins Emma and Zoe who become tangled in their umbilical cords.
After two more miscarriages the couple started on IVF treatment but have still found it a struggle to carry a pregnancy to term.
Ms Rowe opened up to Daily Mail Australia about her devastating losses, and explained the pair will be trying for baby number 12 later this year with the help of donor eggs.
Samantha Rowe, 40, and husband Paul Lyons, 43, opened up about their devastating losses, and explained the pair will be trying for baby number 12 later this year with the help of donor eggs
Ms Rowe admitted each death takes a toll on her mental health
‘We’ve thought long and hard about adoption and surrogacy, but it’s just not possible at the moment – you don’t get to this stage without considering those options,’ she said.
Ms Rowe said children in Victoria aren’t commonly put up for adoption and that there were just nine children adopted in the state last year.
‘People always think we could just adopt, and I would love to, but the option just isn’t available,’ she said.
‘We would also love to use a surrogate and have had a lot of offers, but it costs about $150,000 and the process takes about five years, and we just don’t have that kind of money.’
Bereaved mother Samantha Rowe, 40, and husband Paul Lyons (pictured) have suffered through almost a dozen infant deaths over the past five years
Samantha Rowe most recently lost baby Noah (pictured)
Ms Rowe said the loss of each unborn child has taken a toll on her mental health.
‘I used to be known as a happy and bubbly person, but part of it’s gone,’ she said.
When speaking about the support she found through online communities, Ms Rowe broke down.
‘We don’t do death well as a community – no one wants to talk about it,’ she said through tears, explaining that her mother had a stillbirth 50 years ago.
‘Back then, they took the baby, wrapped it in butchers paper, took it to the incinerator and told you to go home and try again.
‘Times have definitely changed since then, but we still have a long way to go.’
Ms Rowe explained her stillbirths and miscarriages haven’t been as a result of a medical issue.
‘Once you’ve had more than one premature birth, your body keeps doing it,’ she said.
‘So now that I’ve had 11, I will never carry to term even though there’s nothing medically wrong with me.
‘The magic number is 23 – once I carry a baby to 23 weeks, the doctors can keep it alive,’ she said, referencing her last baby, Noah, who was born at 22 weeks.
The pair opted for IVF last year and found out they were expecting baby Noah (pictured with Paul Lyons)
The executive assistant revealed it all started when she fell pregnant for the first time for the first time soon after marrying Mr Lyons in 2013.
The pregnancy ran smoothly until the Melbourne executive assistant suddenly found herself in severe pain at 21 weeks.
Doctors sent her home twice, but after Ms Rowe passed a blood clot, she was taken to hospital where doctors told her they didn’t know what was going on.
The expectant mother eventually went to the bathroom and realised she was in labour because baby Cooper’s foot was coming out.
‘I could just feel something between my legs and I screamed and the lady in the room on the opposite side of the curtain obviously pressed her emergency button and people came running in from everywhere and I was crying.’
Doctors then explained her son was too young to survive outside the womb.
Cooper died on Valentines Day in 2014.
The devastated woman explained her biggest regret was saying no to holding him.
More than six months later, the couple learned they were expecting another baby boy.
Hudson was born in January 2015 at 19 weeks and six days.
‘When I lost Cooper the hospital didn’t remove all of the fetus completely so I got an infection. I nearly died,’ she said.
‘I was given antibiotics and they removed everything from my uterus, but I didn’t quite get over the infection by the time I was pregnant with my second child.
‘That’s why my second child (Hudson) was born prematurely.
‘We now live three minutes away from our local hospital because when I’m pregnant, I’m at the hospital three times in a good week, five times in a bad one.’
As he was one day shy of 20 weeks, Cooper’s premature birth was classified as a miscarriage rather than a stillbirth.
Ms Rowe then fell pregnant with twin girls.
The pregnancy was high-risk because, while they had their own umbilical cords, the pair shared an amniotic sac and the same placenta.
In August 2015, Emma and Zoe became entangled in their cords and died at 15 weeks.
After two more miscarriages, the pair opted for IVF last year and found out they were expecting baby Noah.
‘We were sure he was our miracle baby,’ she said.
They were told that if Noah lived beyond 23 weeks, the doctors could keep him alive in the event of a premature birth.
The devastated couple also revealed they had two more miscarriages this year (pictured: Ms Rowe pregnant with Cooper in 2014)
But at almost 22 weeks, the hopeful mum felt shooting pains and went to the hospital, only to be sent home.
She went into labour at 6.30am the next day, but Noah didn’t make it.
The devastated couple also revealed they had two more miscarriages this year.
‘We’ve got empty arms,’ Ms Rowe cried, explaining she and her husband had to watch all their friends have healthy children over the years.
After coping with the deaths of 11 babies, Mr Lyons and Ms Rowe decided to use their experiences to help others.
They founded Memories of an Angel providing mementos and keepsakes for deceased infants.
The couple said the loss of a child is a taboo topic – and revealed they want to help others understand they’re not alone in their grief.
‘I can’t take away your pain. I can’t change the outcome and I can’t bring your baby back, But I can give you a listening ear and support you … There will be a day in the future when you will smile again and you will enjoy life again.’
Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day is on Tuesday.