A woman deciding whether she would like to have children in the future stirred up an emotive debate after asking about motherhood regret.

Taking to the British parenting forum, Mumsnet, the unnamed woman, 32, explained that despite being ’90 per cent sure’ she wants to remain childfree and knows she would regret it if she did become a mother. 

However, she added that she loves the children around her and feels ‘curious’ about what motherhood would be like. 

She asked parents to share their experiences, posing the question: ‘Do you think you would still have had kids if you knew, back then, everything you do now about having them?’ 

Commenters were either vehemently sure they made the right decision, or felt sad that being a parent had created difficult lives they can’t escape from. 

An anonymous woman took to Mumsnet to pose the question of regretting motherhood after considering having children herself

An anonymous woman took to Mumsnet to pose the question of regretting motherhood after considering having children herself

She explained that despite liking the children around her, she felt as though she would regret having her own

She explained that despite liking the children around her, she felt as though she would regret having her own

She explained that despite liking the children around her, she felt as though she would regret having her own 

 Posing the question to the forum, the woman said: ‘I’m 32 and I’m 90 per cent sure I will remain childfree. 

‘I love kids but don’t feel maternal in the slightest and I’m not sure if I ever will. Every so often, though, I do feel curious about what motherhood would be like. 

‘I thought it would be good to get some perspective from those that have kids. I think that if I did have them, I’d regret having them far more than if I didn’t have them, and had a slight pang of regret here and there. 

‘From what I can see, it looks f******g hard. Of course there is lots of good stuff and I’m sure you all love your kids and wouldn’t change them for the world now that they’re here. 

Some commenters were brutally honest about the hardships of being a parent and missed their old lives immensely

Some commenters were brutally honest about the hardships of being a parent and missed their old lives immensely

Some commenters were brutally honest about the hardships of being a parent and missed their old lives immensely 

‘Do you think you still would have done it, armed with your knowledge and experience of parenthood?’

Responses were divided, with those who regret their decision warning the woman not to commit to motherhood if she’s not 100 per cent sure. 

One person admitted: ‘If I could go back, I would. I love my kids but without them, my life would be far easier and I would be far richer.’

‘Life is hard. Doesn’t feel like there is much to look forward to, and lots to worry about. We used to have a great life pre-kids and I miss it a lot,’ a fellow commenter added. 

While another stated: ‘No I would not. I wouldn’t have kids. Mine has significant health issues and I’ve lost every bit of myself. Im a shell if a person doing it solo.’

One mother wrote: ‘I love my children but parenthood has always been a complete drag with a distinct lack of theose cutesy Hallmark moments that are supposed to brighten the days.’ 

Anothe added: ‘I wouldn’t have had them if I could have known. The trials and tribulations have been so huge. The responsibility is almost unbearable.’ 

Single parents and those with disabled children also spoke up about their difficulties, warning that the responsibility is ‘relentless’ and one admitting she can’t wait for the weekends when her children are with their father.  

However, some mothers felt strongly that the decision to have children was the best one they could have made. 

Some people couldn't imagine their lives without their children and said all the struggles were worth it in the end

Some people couldn't imagine their lives without their children and said all the struggles were worth it in the end

Some people couldn’t imagine their lives without their children and said all the struggles were worth it in the end

One person said: ‘Without a shadow of doubt, all the “hassle” – the crappy sleep, the mess, the chaos, the financial pressure, the drudgery – it’s all amidst the most immense love, pride and joy I’ve ever felt.’

While another thought the sacrifices were worth it, saying: ‘I gave up everything for my kids. my career, my dreams. I would do it all again. 

‘I dont want my life back. They are my life. Nothing has made me happier ever and two are disabled so its never been easy.’

 A third person agreed and wrote: ‘Absolutely, 100%. They have been the joy and delight of my life. They’re adults now and still amazing.’

 

 

 

 

 

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