Woman who grew up in poverty reveals what it’s like to have a spouse from the upper class

A woman who grew up in poverty and has experienced homelessness has opened up about what it’s like to be married to a man who was raised in an upper-class home.  

In a series of three thought-provoking TikTok videos, Michaela and Alex Akins detailed how being raised in two vastly different economic classes has led them to develop certain habits and idiosyncrasies that sharply contrast each other. 

‘These things aren’t discussed very much, and I think many people don’t even realize how their socioeconomic status growing up shapes their personal habits as an adult,’ Michaela, 26, from Los Angeles, told BuzzFeed News. 

  

Candid: Michaela and Alex Atkins, from Los Angeles, opened up in a series of TikTok videos about what it’s like to be married to someone from a different economic background 

Habits: Michaela, 26, grew up in poverty and experienced homelessness. She explained that she will finish everything on her plate no matter what, while Alex will stop when he is full

Habits: Michaela, 26, grew up in poverty and experienced homelessness. She explained that she will finish everything on her plate no matter what, while Alex will stop when he is full

Habits: Michaela, 26, grew up in poverty and experienced homelessness. She explained that she will finish everything on her plate no matter what, while Alex will stop when he is full

Opposites: She also likes to save leftovers to the chagrin of Alex, who prefers to finish them before they go bad

Opposites: She also likes to save leftovers to the chagrin of Alex, who prefers to finish them before they go bad 

While she grew up with food insecurity and was homeless at points in her childhood and early adulthood, Alex went to private school and had a cleaning service come to his home.  

‘I wanted to highlight some differences in living together that I’ve noticed because of how we were raised,’ she explained in the first video, which shows how their upbringings have affected their eating habits. 

‘When eating a meal, I always finish my plate because I was not allowed to leave the table until I finished my plate and was told I was wasteful if I didn’t,’ she said. ‘My husband will eat until he’s full like a regular human.’

Michaela went on to say that she will keep all of her receipts in case something is wrong with what she bought and she has to take it back, but Alex will just throw them away and buy the item again if it’s defective.   

Looking back: Michaela was raised with food insecurity, which affects her eating habits

Looking back: Michaela was raised with food insecurity, which affects her eating habits

Mindset: Michaela saves glass jars, plastic utensils, and takeout condiments because she was taught not to waste

Mindset: Michaela saves glass jars, plastic utensils, and takeout condiments because she was taught not to waste

Mindset: Michaela saves glass jars, plastic utensils, and takeout condiments because she was taught not to waste 

No saving: Alex, 27, was raised in an upper-class home and went to private school. When he is done with something, he will throw it out or recycle it

No saving: Alex, 27, was raised in an upper-class home and went to private school. When he is done with something, he will throw it out or recycle it 

‘I have a collection of jars in case I can reuse them. I was taught to never throw anything away,’ she continued. ‘Alex will throw away or recycle stuff when he is done with it.’

One of the most unexpected differences is that Michaela likes cold lunches because that’s what she ate as a kid, but her husband doesn’t.  

‘Alex only likes hot lunch because he ate his cafeteria lunch at his private school that costs more than all of his four years of college combined every day,’ she said. 

In the second video, which has been viewed more than 4.8 million times, Michaela touched upon their different shopping and cleaning habits.  

‘When grocery shopping, Alex would always get the name brand,’ she said. ‘I had to teach him that store brand is just as good with a few notable exceptions.’

Go generic: Michaela said Alex tends to by name brand foods, and she had to teach him that most store brand items are just as good

Go generic: Michaela said Alex tends to by name brand foods, and she had to teach him that most store brand items are just as good

Go generic: Michaela said Alex tends to by name brand foods, and she had to teach him that most store brand items are just as good 

Having help: When it comes to cleaning, Alex is better at picking up after himself. His family had a cleaning service come to their home his entire life

Having help: When it comes to cleaning, Alex is better at picking up after himself. His family had a cleaning service come to their home his entire life 

Comparison: Michaela noted that she has purchased every major expense in her adult life for herself, while Alex has never bought a car, laptop, or cellphone on his own

Comparison: Michaela noted that she has purchased every major expense in her adult life for herself, while Alex has never bought a car, laptop, or cellphone on his own

Comparison: Michaela noted that she has purchased every major expense in her adult life for herself, while Alex has never bought a car, laptop, or cellphone on his own 

She noted that her husband is better at picking up after himself than cleaning because his family had a cleaning service his entire life. 

‘I’m better at cleaning because if I wanted something to be clean, I had to do it myself,’ she said. ‘But I am just naturally messier than he is.’

Michaela went on to point out that she and Alex are the same age, but he has ‘never bought a car, laptop, or cellphone himself, while she has purchased every major expense in her adult life. 

Even the pets they had were different: Alex grew up with purebred poodles while Michaela’s childhood dog was a mixed breed from the pound. However, they found common ground when they adopted a pit bull mix from a shelter in Atlanta. 

For the third video, the couple switched it up, with Alex walking viewers through his wife’s habits.  

No waste: Alex pointed out that Michaela saves gift bags, which he admitted he actually finds helpful

No waste: Alex pointed out that Michaela saves gift bags, which he admitted he actually finds helpful 

Making their own life: Alex grew up with purebred poodles as pets, but he and Michaela adopted a pit bull mix together

Making their own life: Alex grew up with purebred poodles as pets, but he and Michaela adopted a pit bull mix together

Making their own life: Alex grew up with purebred poodles as pets, but he and Michaela adopted a pit bull mix together 

Love: 'Everyone has differences in how they grew up, but if you can figure out the big things, the small things will work themselves out,' Alex said

Love: ‘Everyone has differences in how they grew up, but if you can figure out the big things, the small things will work themselves out,’ Alex said 

‘First, Michaela keeps everything from every takeout restaurant we’ve ever ordered from,’ he said, panning the camera to the plastic utensils and condiment packets on the table. ‘There is a whole drawer full of this stuff. 

‘She also keeps all of our gift bags, which is great for holidays, birthdays, gift-giving. Makes it a lot easier,’ he admitted.  

Michaela is a stickler about not wasting electricity after growing up pinching pennies and is always turning things off on Alex. 

‘Every time I leave a room and leave the light switch on, she will turn it off — even if I am going right back into that room in a minute later,’ he said.

Alex also noted that he likes to finish their leftovers, but his wife will leave them in the fridge for next time, and they end up going bad. 

‘This is a byproduct of her growing up with food insecurity and not necessarily knowing where her next meal would come from sometimes,’ he explained. 

‘Everyone has differences in how they grew up,’ he added at the end of the video, ‘but if you can figure out the big things, the small things will work themselves out.’

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