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Woman’s dad admits to raping her because he wanted to be sent to jail so he didn’t die alone

A woman who was orally raped by her own father has revealed he pleaded guilty not to spare her, but because he had a fear of being lonely and would rather go to prison than die alone.  

Alex Mimer, 21, who is from London but now lives in West Wales, was seven-years-old when her dad Sydney Mimer started abusing her around the years of 2006 – and 12 months later, he raped her in his van during a work trip to Scotland. 

On 21 July 2017,  he was charged with numerous sexual offences against Alex, including rape, but denied it, but three days into his trial he admitted everything. 

And when the court heard how Sydney, then aged 69, had a fear of dying alone, Alex realised her ‘calculating’ father had pleaded guilty not because of regret, but because he wanted to go to prison so that he would die surrounded by others.

He was sentenced to 12 years with a licence of three years and two months, for 2 counts of rape of a child under 13, 1 count of sexual activity and 2 counts of causing a child to engage in sexual activity. 

Alex Mimer, 21, who is from London but now lives in West Wales, was orally raped by her father Sydney Mimer during a work trip to Scotland when she was just eight-years-old. Pictured, together when she was a baby

Alex has since gone on to rebuild her life, and has moved from London to her favourite place, West Wales. Pictured, camping in Wales - the only place where she's ever felt free

Alex has since gone on to rebuild her life, and has moved from London to her favourite place, West Wales. Pictured, camping in Wales – the only place where she’s ever felt free

Now, Alex has waived her right to anonymity in a bid to speak out and help others suffering.

‘I’m glad he’s where he belongs,’ she said. ‘He shattered my childhood, I didn’t have one, and his abuse has affected me ever since. But I’m glad I found the courage to speak up, rather than hiding away.’

‘I still struggle with my mental health but the good days are beginning to outweigh the bad and I’ve finally found happiness with my fiance.’

Alex’s dad was 50 when she was born, her mum was much younger at 32, and she was the one with the energy to play with Alex after her work as a teaching assistant.

‘Dad wouldn’t do much with me,’ she explained. ‘He drove a van and would usually come home, open a beer and slump on the sofa, playing games on his PlayStation.’

‘Occasionally I’d sit on his knee and I looked up to him, after all he was my dad. But in childhood photos of me with him I was never smiling.’

Her parents would take her on the occasional day out and family holiday, but Alex says she doesn’t have many fond childhood memories.

‘When I look back there are no happy family images in my head, only photos, like the one of me aged six in my zip up hoodie with a big white star when we went to visit Mum’s family abroad,’ she explained.

Sydney Mimer (pictured) was sentenced to 12 years with a licence of three years and two months, for 2 counts of rape of a child under 13, 1 count of sexual activity and 2 counts of causing a child to engage in sexual activity

Sydney Mimer (pictured) was sentenced to 12 years with a licence of three years and two months, for 2 counts of rape of a child under 13, 1 count of sexual activity and 2 counts of causing a child to engage in sexual activity

Alex doesn’t have many fond childhood memories (pictured with her father Sydney when she was younger) and says she was always told it was 'their little secret' when she was abused by her dad

Alex doesn’t have many fond childhood memories (pictured with her father Sydney when she was younger) and says she was always told it was ‘their little secret’ when she was abused by her dad

Then one afternoon the following year, her mum went to the shops leaving Alex at home with her dad.

‘He was on his PlayStation as usual and it was vibrating, when suddenly he held it against my crotch,’ recalled Alex. ‘He had a strange grin on his face and asked me how it felt. I was confused and told him I wasn’t sure, and he then carried on with his game.’

However, it wasn’t long before Sydney abused her again. The next time Alex’s mum went out he put his hands down her knickers and touched her.

‘He’d pull down his trousers and pants and he’d make me touch him too, telling me, through his stale cigarette breath not to tell anyone,’ she explained. ‘He’d always say it was “our little secret.”‘   

‘Afterwards, he’d give me loose change from his pocket for sweets. He acted so matter of fact about it, like it was normal.’

Alex’s dad would travel with his job and when she was eight, he had to drive from where they lived in London, up to Scotland.

He said he’d take her and that they could sleep there overnight, on the bunk beds in the van.

‘I was excited, thinking it would be an adventure, and I packed some clothes and a teddy,’ said Alex. ‘But the journey was long and tiring and that night as we pulled up in a parking lot, Dad orally raped me.’

‘He made me give him oral sex. I was crying, so confused and as I wretched I thought I was going to be sick.’

‘When Dad had finished he gave me a tissue, and said to me again: “Remember it’s our little secret.” Afterwards he fell asleep.’ 

She added: ‘Lying in the bunk above I held my teddy close and sobbed into my pillow until I had no tears left.’

Alex and her father Sydney (in the star hoodie), pictured when they were abroad visiting her mother's family

Alex and her father Sydney (in the star hoodie), pictured when they were abroad visiting her mother’s family

Alex says she's determined to make the most of her life with fiancé Owain, 26 (pictured together with her engagement ring) and also by sharing her story in a bid to help others

Alex says she’s determined to make the most of her life with fiancé Owain, 26 (pictured together with her engagement ring) and also by sharing her story in a bid to help others

The next day Sydney acted as if nothing had happened as Alex helped him with his work, unloading the van. And out of a mixture of misplaced loyalty and fear when they got home, Alex stayed quiet.

‘I prayed it wouldn’t happen again and whenever he came near me I’d tell him I didn’t want to do it,’ she said. ‘But I was too powerless to stop it from happening.’

‘It dawned that he’d pleaded guilty, not to spare me but because he’d rather go to prison than die alone. He’d been thinking of himself. Calculating to the very end.’ Alex Mimer

‘All the time Mum had no idea what was happening but she and Dad would often argue.’

One morning when Alex had turned ten, she woke her up and told her that they were moving. Before she knew it they were in a new flat, living without her dad.

‘It was all so confusing and Dad didn’t come to see us, but I didn’t miss him or the things he’d done to me,’ she explained. 

Alex had no understanding of the damage her dad had done but she felt an increasing sense of losing control. And when she was 12, she learned through sex education at school, the true horror of it all.

‘Shame and anger built up inside me,’ explained Alex. ‘But instead of telling anyone I withdrew into myself. It left me feeling isolated at home as well as school and I stopped doing well in lessons.’

‘The teachers started having conversations with Mum, but she was at a loss to explain.

‘I began to feel like a massive problem and thought it must’ve all been my fault. I started self-harming.’ 

She continued: ‘As the blade sank deep into my flesh the pain was nothing compared to what I was trying to block out. Sometimes I wanted to end it once and for all and I’d swallow a handful of painkillers.

‘But Mum would find me and I’d be rushed to hospital where my stomach would be pumped. She’d beg me to talk to someone and while she was doing her best, I pushed her away. Even when counselling sessions were arranged I refused to talk.’

It was only when Alex turned 12 that she learned through sex education at school, the true horror of the abuse she had suffered. Pictured, Alex now

It was only when Alex turned 12 that she learned through sex education at school, the true horror of the abuse she had suffered. Pictured, Alex now

After struggling through her teens and keeping her dad’s sick secret for a decade, Alex broke down after attending a family friend's wedding and told her mum. Now, Alex with her fiancé Owain

After struggling through her teens and keeping her dad’s sick secret for a decade, Alex broke down after attending a family friend’s wedding and told her mum. Now, Alex with her fiancé Owain

All the time, Alex’s father’s sick secret ate away at her. Suffering flashbacks and nightmares, in her mind’s eye, she’d see his face, smell his breath, relieve the abuse.

One day when she was 14 she was on a bus with friends when she saw him for real.

‘I was sat at the back and when he got on I nearly had a heart attack,’ explained Alex. ‘He looked dishevelled and as he turned to look directly at me my heart thumped against my chest. But there was no flicker of recognition and luckily he got off before my stop. But it really shook me up.’

As time passed, Alex continued to struggle. At 15 she was prescribed anti-depressants and one day, having swallowed a handful of them she collapsed on the street.

Her then boyfriend took her to hospital and called her mum, but still, Alex didn’t tell her about the abuse.

Instead she started to drink to try and blot it all out – and says the smallest thing would make her erupt.

‘Sometimes I’d punch the walls with my fists until my knuckles bled,’ she said. ‘But that kind of pain was much easier than the pain I felt inside.’

Alex says the only time she’d ever feel happy was one week each summer when she went to Wales with a camping group, which she’d done since she was 11. 

But in March 2016, aged 17, Alex and her mum were invited to a family friend’s wedding.

Alex didn’t feel up to it, but not wanting to disappoint her mum, she made an effort, putting on a dress and doing her make-up. 

‘The church service was lovely and afterwards at the reception everyone was happy, having a good time,’ she explained. ‘Plastering on a smile I managed to hold it together, but I ended up several glasses of wine.’

By the end of the night, around 11pm, Alex was being helped into the back of the car, sat behind her mum as a friend drove them home.

After keeping her dad’s sick secret for a decade, Alex (pictured) broke down after attending a family freind’s wedding and told her mum

After keeping her dad’s sick secret for a decade, Alex (pictured) broke down after attending a family freind’s wedding and told her mum

‘I remember seeing Mum in the front before passing out, explained Alex. ‘I woke up vomiting into a bag, so our friend pulled into a service station and Mum came with me to the ladies.’

But in there Alex began crying uncontrollably and when her mum asked her what was wrong, she couldn’t hold it in any longer and through frantic sobs, it all came out.

‘I told her Dad did stuff to me when I was a child,’ recalled Alex. ‘Mum gasped and her face turned ashen. She asked me why I’d never told her and she started crying, blaming herself. I told her none of it was her fault.’  

But now that her mum knew, Alex was scared. She didn’t want her to call the police, but her mum insisted.

Alex went to a friend’s overnight, desperate to hide away, but the next day a police officer rang her and asked her to go to the station, where she made a video statement.

‘I was shaking and sobbing as I raked up all the sordid things Dad had done to me,’ explained Alex. ‘But the police let me take my time and I managed to answer all their questions.’

Afterwards, Sydney was arrested. Despite refusing to speak and denying everything, he was charged with sexual offences against Alex, including rape.

It meant a trial, the prospect of which filled Alex with dread. But now she’d spoken up she realised that she was no longer scared of him.

And on 21 July 2017 when the trial came round at Snaresbrook Crown Court, Alex was determined to look him in the eye, to show she was no longer afraid. 

At first Sydney continued to maintain his innocence, but when Alex arrived at court on the third day, she was ushered into another room, where her barrister gave her the news her father had changed his plea and had admitted everything.

Sydney Mimer was convicted of two counts of rape of a child under 13, one count of sexual activity and two counts of causing a child to engage in sexual activity. 

‘Relief flooded through me but I was left feeling confused,’ said Alex. ‘I didn’t understand why he’d suddenly changed his mind, had it been to spare me?

While Alex's dad robbed her of a childhood, she says she's determined to make the most of her life with Owain, 26 (pictured together)

While Alex’s dad robbed her of a childhood, she says she’s determined to make the most of her life with Owain, 26 (pictured together)

The following month when Alex returned to court for the sentencing, she stared straight at him, looking for signs of remorse – but there weren’t any.

When her dad’s barrister told the court that her father had a fear of dying alone, the penny dropped.

‘It dawned that he’d pleaded guilty, not to spare me but because he’d rather go to prison than die alone,’ she said. ‘He’d been thinking of himself. Calculating to the very end.’

‘When the judge sentenced him to 12 years, with a licence of three years and two months he actually smiled.’

Afterwards, DC Neil Golding who led the case said: ‘Mimer is a predatory paedophile who carried out a sustained campaign of sexual abuse against a young girl.

‘His actions have had a devastating impact on the girl’s life and I can only hope seeing him jailed for a significant period of time can give her some form of closure and allow her to move with her life.’

Over two years on from the court case Alex admits it hasn’t been easy. She still suffers from bad days and carries both the mental and physical scars.

But due to her enormous bravery she has gone on to rebuild her life, moving from the city to her favourite place, West Wales, where she now works in a bank and is currently planning her wedding to her fiancé, Owain,

‘I never thought I’d find happiness, and I don’t think I would have done, if I hadn’t spoken up about dad’s abuse,’ she said. 

‘I didn’t have a childhood but Dad won’t take my future. I’m determined to make the most of my life with Owain, 26, and also by telling my story I hope to help others who’ve been through similar and show them that there is life after abuse.’ 

Read more at DailyMail.co.uk



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