A YouTube star who recently broke up with her boyfriend has left her followers heartbroken after sharing a video in which she explains between distressed sobs that the reason she and her significant other split is because she is ‘too fat’.
Trisha Paytas, 30, shared the clip with her four million subscribers last week, announcing that her relationship with comedian and YouTuber Jason Nash, 45, is over after almost one year of dating.
Dressed in a gray hoodie, Trisha, who appeared on Celebrity Big Brother last year but left the show after 11 days, began by announcing she would take a long break from YouTube because she now needs to be alone.
Tears: YouTube star Trisha Paytas shared a heartbreaking video last week, in which she sobbed while explaining why she and her boyfriend broke up
Couple: Jason Nash, 45, and Trisha, 30, had been dating for almost a year and often appeared in videos together
‘The pain I feel in my heart is the greatest pain I’ve ever felt,’ she told her viewers while tearing up.
Trisha, a native of Riverside, California who now lives in Los Angeles, said she’s not ‘mad at anyone except [herself]’.
‘I’m completely disgusted with myself and how I look and how I feel and I’m so, so sorry to be letting everyone down,’ she explained in the heartbreaking clip.
Trisha then recounted the incident that caused their relationship to dissolve.
She said she and Jason were filming a sizzle real for an upcoming reality show when he made an insensitive remark about both of their body shapes.
‘We were being compared to couples and he said it was a joke, but he said, you know. They were comparing us to another travel YouTube couple and he said “Yeah except me and Trish we’re both fat,”‘ Trisha recounted.
The YouTuber explained that she struggles with her body image and said the comment reignited her insecurities, causing her profound pain.
‘I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal and it’s probably not to most people, even he was telling me it’s not a big deal,’ she said.
‘He never apologized for saying it, he said “You overreact, you can’t let things go.” But this is something I really can’t let go.’
Trisha, whose videos get anywhere from several hundred thousand views to more than a million views, acknowledged that she gets ‘a lot of fat comments and fat stuff on the internet’, adding: ‘And, yeah it sucks!
‘And everyone knows we’re struggling with insecurity. Especially Jason, he knows my insecurity.’
Sorrow: Trisha explained between sobs that she and Jason broke up after he made a comment about both of their body shapes, which she found hurtful
She then said she and Jason had been fighting previously because she wasn’t feeling well and he blamed her sickness on her eating habits, even though she had previously asked him not to comment on her diet.
‘This stings so much and it’s so painful because he’s right. I am fat,’ Trisha added, clearly distressed.
She called her weight her biggest insecurity, adding: ‘It just cuts. It stabs. It’s like physical stabbing pain.’
Trisha said she went shopping at The Grove after the incident but had to leave because of a panic attack.
‘Everyone has a preference and most people prefer a thinner girl. It’s the truth and I’m so sorry if I’m letting any other thick girls down,’ she added.
Trisha, who has openly discussed getting liposuction in some of her past videos and often discusses her private life on her channel, said she and Jason joke ‘all the time’ about various subjects, adding: ‘He can call me insane with his friends, crazy, desperate, old. Those are fine.
‘All those jokes were fine and they truly didn’t hurt because I’m genuinely a strong person and you can say stuff. When he said “We’re both fat”, I wanted to cry and I held it in.’
She said she knew right away the relationship was doomed after Jason made that comment.
‘I never thought of myself as fat or even heavy. I mean I am overweight, I am, but I always thought I looked good,’ she added.
Trisha said Jason’s comment hurt all the more because she ‘felt so much in [her] heart that it was finally someone that accepted me’.
‘I don’t know why people ever tell me “Oh, you shouldn’t eat that.” Like, don’t you know? Or, “You’re fat.” Yes I know,’ she added ‘Don’t you think I know these things? I hate that the world judges people on the way they look.’
The YouTuber assured her viewers she would be OK, telling them she would be taking a break, although she has since uploaded several follow-up videos addressing her break-up.
Clips: The YouTuber assured her viewers she would be OK, telling them she would be taking a break, although she has since uploaded several follow-up videos addressing her break-up
Duo: Trisha said Jason’s comment hurt all the more because she ‘felt so much in [her] heart that it was finally someone that accepted me’
‘This is the most painful thing I’ve ever felt,’ she said. ‘Because words will stick with you forever. I remember two very painful incidents in middle school that stuck with me forever and that scarred me forever. And this is just one of those that will be with me forever. Whenever I’m eating, whenever I’m dating someone new, whenever I’m in a swimsuit or whenever I get naked in front of someone that’s what I’ll think about.’
While Trisha said she wanted to lose weight as a result of Jason’s remark, her subscribers assured her in the comments section that she doesn’t need to change, calling her ‘beautiful’ and ‘fabulous’.
‘Trisha you are beautiful and strong. Don’t change unless YOU want to not because people tell you to,’ one person wrote.
Someone else commented: ‘I wish I could just hug her right now’, while another viewer urged her: ‘You are beautiful. DO NOT CHANGE FOR ANYONE OK?’
Jason shared a video in response to Trisha’s clip, giving his own version of the story. He started off by saying Trisha is the ‘prettiest girl’ he has ever dated, and that he had the ‘best sex [he] ever had’ with her.
‘I never ever had any issue with her body type. Ever. Not ever in my life,’ he said. ‘And she used to say to me, “Oh you know, all the girls before me were brunettes and skinny and thin and that’s your type. That’s what you like.”
‘And that’s not true at all. I don’t have a type. I don’t have a type at all.’
The comedian said he has a ‘hard time finding anyone to date [him], adding that Trisha is ‘way, way, way out of [his] league’.
He insisted that he doesn’t think ‘any of these things that she said’ and that he ‘never called her fat’.
Jason said he and Trisha broke up as the result of two separate incidents, the first of which occurred while they were both doing a bikini shoot, during which Trisha posed in swimsuits and he took images of her.
Support: While Trisha said she wanted to lose weight as a result of Jason’s remark, her subscribers assured her in the comments section that she doesn’t need to change
Reply: Jason said in a response video that he called both himself and Trisha ‘overweight’ but insisted he meant it as a joke
Over: Trisha said she knew right away the relationship was doomed after Jason’s comment
That day, according to Jason, Trisha said several times that she wasn’t feeling well, to which he started saying ‘You know what it is’, prompting Trisha to reply: ‘Don’t, don’t Jason. Don’t say it. I know what you’re doing to say.’
Jason said he dropped the topic until Trisha told him to go ahead and say what he wanted to say.
‘I said, “I think you’re not feeling well. I think maybe you should change your diet,”‘ Jason recounted.
He insisted he spoke out out of concern for Trisha’s health, and said they later discussed the topic again, leaving him with the impression they’d had a ‘good conversation’.
But the next day, according to Jason, Trisha announced she would no longer eat in front of him because he ‘thinks that [she]’s fat’. Jason said he ‘took a hard line’ and told her they couldn’t have a normal relationship if she never ate with him.
Eventually, Jason said Trisha started eating around him again and ‘doing a lot of things along the way that [he] didn’t like’.
Then came the incident that occurred while they were filming their sizzle real. Jason said Trisha first joked about their respective attractiveness, saying she’s a ‘seven’ and he is a ‘six’.
He then acknowledged that he did comment on both of their body shapes, adding the producer made a remark that made him think of the word ‘weight’ and prompted him to say: ‘Yeah, we’re overweight.’
‘She didn’t like that,’ he said of Trisha, insisting that he apologized several times and that he was only trying to ‘be funny in the moment’.