Getting married is a major relationship milestone and often a scary step forward. Sometimes couples find that being in love doesn’t mean they are compatible after the honeymoon is over. There are some basic things you need to know about your partner before tying the knot. Here are a few questions to ask as you prepare for the big day and the many days that come after.
- Do you have the same views on finances and lifestyle?
It’s a good idea to figure out your individual outlooks on finances, see how they compare, and then create financial goals as a couple. Do you both want to settle down and buy a house? Is one of you a spender and the other more a saver? Do you want to live in the same type of neighborhood? Do you know how your financial history could affect your credit scores and your ability to apply for a home loan together? These may seem like awkward questions to discuss but it’s infinitely better to speak about them before you tie the knot. It’s important to be of the same mind when it comes to the life you plan to share.
A big part of your shared life together is determining where and how you want to live, so you may want to investigate purchasing a home before you settle down. Even if you don’t buy something before getting married, starting the discussion early sets you up to address common hurdles that new couples face.
The first step in house hunting is to determine your price range. You need to know how much money to save for a down payment. Seeking mortgage preapproval from a lender will determine how much house you can afford. The approval process for a mortgage application requires a hard inquiry on both of your credit reports, income ratio, employment history, tax returns, and bank statements.
The financial information of both buyers affects your qualification for a mortgage loan. A seller is more likely to take potential buyers’ offers seriously if they have a preapproval letter from a mortgage lender. The more favorable your credit scores and financial situation the better your chances of getting preapproval on a home loan with a favorable interest rate.
So how does pre-approval work? It can be a confusing process, so it’s a good idea to head over to loans.com and follow their step-by-step loan application process. That way you’ll be sure to learn what it takes to get an approval letter for your future home.
- Do you both agree on future children?
The baby conversation is a must before getting married. How many kids, if any, would you both like to have? Do you both hope to have a biological family or do you want to foster or adopt kids? It’s also a good idea to agree on how many children you see in your future. It could be a deal-breaker if one of you craves parenthood and the other doesn’t.
- Do you like who you are with your partner?
You should be happy with the current version of yourself and the person you are becoming alongside your partner. Does your partner accept you for how you are? Are you confident that they will continue to love you as you grow and change? Does your partner challenge you? Spending a lifetime together means loving the other person for who they are now while committing to helping one other become the best versions of yourselves.
- Are there any red flags in the relationship?
How does your partner handle hard conversations? It’s difficult to be with a partner who struggles with compassion or empathy and displays surprises in behavior. Couples need to be able to get through hard conversations without hurting the relationship.
An important step toward making a positive change in the relationship can be to speak with a couples therapist. Therapy Group of DC is a team of expert marriage counselors, family therapists, and couples counselors with years of experience providing individual therapy as well as couple therapy. Marriage counseling can help a couple find strength, rebuild trust, and rekindle intimacy.
Marriage therapists create a customized treatment plan to guide each therapy session and help relationships thrive in the long run. Many couples seek couples counseling with good intentions. Search for “marriage counseling near me” and discover how traditional counseling or online counseling can bring back the spark in your relationship.
- Does your partner make sacrifices for the relationship?
Being in a relationship means caring both for yourself and the two of you as a unit. You’ll be sharing a unique set of needs. It’s important that each of you can make decisions that prioritize what’s best for the relationship. You both have to be willing to make sacrifices for the sake of both of you, to be on the same team. If your partner struggles to make “we” decisions, this may be a sign that you aren’t a good fit.
- What are your partner’s beliefs?
By the time you tie the knot, you should know what your partner’s beliefs and values are. Having opposite views on beliefs could mean a rocky future, especially when it comes to raising children. It’s a fair topic to discuss with your future spouse and one that could affect your abilities to coexist happily.
Before you tie the knot, it’s important to truly know your partner and feel confident that you are a good fit together. Marriage is a life-long commitment so be sure you say your vows with the right person for you.