Tradition has long dictated that a man must ask a woman’s father for her hand in marriage before making his proposal.
But to many, the practice now seems rather outdated.
Mumsnet users fiercely debated the topic in a recent thread, with some outraged brides deeming the idea ‘sexist and outdated’, while others described it as a ‘sweet tradition’.
The subject of whether a man should ask his future father-in-law for a woman’s hand in marriage is still a much-debated topic
Heated debate: A Mumsnet user sparked debate when she asked for views on the tradition
One woman expressed her surprise the tradition was still ongoing, slamming the idea that her father had a say in her love life and even adding that she would ‘dump’ anyone who requested his permission for her hand in marriage.
Asking other women for their opinions, she wrote: ‘I didn’t think this still happened. But a friend of a friend wad recently telling me that their husband had done this!
Outraged: Women blasted the practice as ‘outdated’ and said they were not ‘possessions’
‘It was clear that she considered this romantic and proper, so I didn’t question it. But, I would immediately dump anyone who thought my dad had any say in who i can marry. Plus, my dad would laugh them out of town any way.’
Dozens of other users agreed, questioning how it could still be seen as a mark of respect. ‘If it “shows respect for the parents”, why the hell is it only the dad who gets asked? What a load of outdated b****cks!,’ one posted.
‘I think it’s an odious custom that implies that women are the possession of their parents,’ an angry user argued.
Independent women: Many pointed out it was for them to decide whether they wanted to wed
A third posted: ‘If it’s so cute and romantic then why don’t women ask for the permission of their boyfriend’s father too?’
Concluding the thread, one woman asked: ‘I think it’s nice to tell the parents first if you are in contact, but to ask just the Dad of the woman is absurd.’
However others disagreed and were proud that their husbands had asked their fathers, saying it was a ‘harmless courtesy’.
Respect: Others argued it was a sign of showing deference towards the family
One shared: ‘Two years ago and yes he did. I’m old fashioned enough to like the custom – I in no way considered myself my father’s property but saw and still see it as a harmless and lovely courtesy!
‘Wouldn’t have made the blindest bit of difference if Dad said no, but both he and I loved that DH asked.’
Another wrote: ‘Yes he did 6 years ago. I see it as a sign of respect for my family, not because anyone thinks I’m a possession. I also changed my name. Oh and I consider myself a feminist.’